Boy Meets Girl
by AliasWritings
Summary: A spilled drink, a ruined jacket, and a love for books. Who knew that was all it took to change some ones life forever? This started as a One-Shot that I've now turned into a series. Spencer/OC story. Features the team and others. - Editing older chapters -
1. A Spilled Drink

Monday mornings. Hectic for most people. The weekend has ended, time to drag yourself out of the comfort of your bed and get to work or school. Most people relying on the support of caffeine to make it through the day.

That's why every place open in the early hours that sell coffee, or other caffeinated drinks, are packed. The lines all holding people that are nervous and or anxious about being late to there 9 to 5 jobs or the more pressing jobs. Nurses, engineers, teachers, doctors, the list never ending. Some students stressing about being late to their first class, wondering if they got all their assignments completed.

Not all people are rushing to get to work or to class, some people just getting off work, looking for a quick pick me up so they can make it home or complete the errands they have to run that day. Some people not having work or school to get to, just taking some time to enjoy an early breakfast at their favorite café. The few who make their own hours, choosing to get out early and complete their other daily tasks.

Despite the packed cafes and other establishments, the sidewalks seemed to be just as crowded. People rushing one way or another to get to those early morning jobs or classes, maybe even just trying to get home. No one paying attention to anyone other than themselves and their tasks at hand.

That being the reason two people, walking fast, both distracted by different things concerning something that only themselves know of, run right into each other. The man jumps back as he feels the hot liquid of the girls newly acquired drink soaking into the top layers he's wearing to help ward off the cold air.

"Oh my gosh!" The young woman gasps out, "I am so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going and I-"

"No, it's fine. I wasn't really paying attention either," The older man cuts her off.

"No, no it's my fault. I swear I'll pay for w-whatever I ruined." She stumbles over her words, looking the man over for damage the hot drink may have caused.

"N-no, really, it's mostly on my jacket. No damage done, I swear." The young man stutters slightly as he assured the women that it was alright. "Is your camera alright?"

Looking down at the camera hanging from her neck, the woman quickly answers. "Oh, it's fine. It's an old one anyway." Calming down, the girl sends the tall man a smile, taking in his appearance. He was tall, on the skinny side, with shaggy hair, it suited him well, she thought. His brown eyes shining in the early morning light, a few strands of hair falling in front of them.

"At least let me buy you a coffee or something, I feel terrible and I need a new drink anyway." She holds up her empty, half squished cup for emphasis.

The young man looks at the girl, she was a bit shorter than him so he had to look down slightly to really see her face. She was beautiful, he had to admit. Her long brown hair was falling in waves around her shoulders. Freckles dotted around her nose. But what he seemed to focus on most were her eyes. Bright brown eyes shinning with the small smile that lit up her face as she looked up at him. It was just a small smile, simple, yet it seemed so bright. Something he didn't see a lot of these days.

"You really don't have too." He insists even though he found himself not wanting to leave her company just yet.

"I promise, it's no trouble, I want to. It's the least I could do." She finds herself saying while looking up at the stranger she ran into moments ago. There was something about him, something in his eyes. They seemed to hold so much. So much knowledge but also pain. They looked happy yet sad. Bright but dark.

"Ah, alright, if it's no trouble." The man nods, pulling her from her thoughts.

Shaking her head, she gives him a bigger smile. "No, no trouble at all. You know Lilly's? I've heard they have the best coffee." She asks while pointing over her shoulder, referring to the café near by that she had just come from. "If coffee is what you want of course." She quickly adds.

"Ye-yeah, a coffee is fine." He stutters again, actually surprised he hasn't more. He's never been great at talking with people, especially women.

"Okay great. Oh, I'm Ryder, by the way. Ryder Matthews." She introduces herself, suddenly remembering she hadn't given her name.

"Uh, Spencer, Spencer Reid." He notices she didn't offer her hand to shake, which he was grateful for, he thought it would make this awkward, or more awkward. She slowly turns around, motioning for him to follow, which he does.

"Again, I am so sorry for this." She tells him with an apologetic smile as they walked next to each other.

"It's fine, really. I didn't like this jacket that much anyway." It wasn't a total lie, he wasn't attached to the jacket but he did like it. But he could live without it and he could see how guilty she felt and didn't want to make it worse. He found that he liked her smile and didn't want to give her a reason to frown.

She smiles up at him as she opens the door to a little corner café that read "Lilly's". Spencer guesses it was maybe the owners name or something along those lines. It was a cozy little cafe, it smelled of freshly baked foods with a hint of coffee and chocolate. There were a few tall round table scattered around the floor with tall chairs to match, around the walls there were a few booths, some being window seats. Over to the left there were two couches and a chair facing each other with a large coffee table in the middle. The walls were a dark color, along with the dark hardwood floor. There was art and pictures lining the walls, adding the color the place needed.

As the duo walks up to the counter to order, a lady in a floral dress passes by them, having just received her order. "Just order whatever you'd like." Ryder says to Spencer as she leans on the counter.

"Hey Ryder, back so soon?" A small girl with a pixie cut questions from behind the counter.

"Hey Amy, I just love your company so much I purposely ran into someone and spilled my drink on them so I could come see you again." Ryder jokes with the young girl, teenager most likely, with a smile. Spencer realizes she was being sarcastic and smiles slightly at her easy going and light personality. It's refreshing as he finds himself surround by the opposite most times.

Amy gives a small laugh and shakes her head, not seeming surprised at all. She takes their orders, Ryder reordering her hot chocolate, stating that she wasn't much of a coffee drinker, and Spencer gets a normal cup of coffee with lots of sugar.

"I can't say I'm sorry enough. I've probably made you late for work or something." Ryder apologizes again as they set their drinks on a near by table, allowing Spencer to remove his chocolate stained jacket, leaving him in a sweater and button up shirt.

"That's alright, I don't mind." Spencer didn't mind being a few minutes late and he found himself not wanting to leave. It's odd, he thinks, he had only just met this woman yet she's had some affect on him. He's not sure what it is, but he can't seem to take his eyes away from her smile. "I hope I'm not making you late for anything." He adds quickly, hoping he wasn't inconveniencing her.

"Oh no, I wasn't on my way anywhere really. I have odd hours, I guess you could say." She chuckles, causing Spencer to smile. Even her laugh was beautiful, he thinks as he looks down at her. "I was just going to sit and read my book, nothing to exciting."

"What book?" Spencer questions, his interest peaked. Books are sometime he knew, something he could talk about.

"Oh, um.." Ryder trails off, setting he bag onto the table, careful not to knock their drinks off as she pulls out a book to show the young man beside her.

Spencer turns his head to get a better look at the cover and finds himself reading the tittle "Knights Gambit"

"Have you ever read it?"

"Uh no actually," Spencer says, surprising himself a little. He was familiar with the book. He was familiar with all of William Faulkner's books. He had just never gotten to that one. "Although I have read some of his other works."

"Really? You like to read?" She seems truly interested as she asks, setting the book down on the table.

"Yeah, I read a lot actually." He decides to keep the whole reading 20,000 words a minute thing to himself, he didn't want to scare her off. Or weird her out. A lot of people found him weird. "Did you know that William Faulkner was rejected from joining the United States Army in 1914 because he was too short. He reportedly gorged on bananas and glasses of water before the medical examination, in order to give the impression that his short and puny frame was more robust than it appeared; the plan failed. Instead, Faulkner succeeded in joining the British army in 1917 – having forged letters from a fictional referee, a vicar named Edward Twimberly-Thorndyke."

"Really? I didn't know that." Spencer was surprised he hadn't gone off on one of his little rants sooner, it normally annoyed people, but Ryder didn't seem to mind, she actually seemed interested. "You don't meet a lot of people who read these days it seems." Ryder mumbles before taking a sip of her drink. She was amazed by this man. She had just met him but he intrigued her. He was one of the nicest people she'd ever met, that being after she spilled her drink all over him. She's not the biggest reader but she does love it and she's never met someone else who shares in her love. He was also kind of cute. She found herself not wanting to leave his company and for a moment her mouth seem to take over and say things before she even fully processed them. "You can barrow it if you'd like, I've already read it once and I'd hate for you to not get the chance to read it."

Spencer pushes past his surprise as he watches the woman in front of him. She seemed shocked by her own words, a pink tint coming to her cheeks as she looks down at the cup in her hands. "I mean," She quickly starts talking again, not allowing Spencer to get a word in. "You totally don't have to, but if you want I don't mind. I could just maybe write my number down and when your done we could meet up and give it back." If she was going to be honest, she was looking for an excuse to see him again. She knew he would have to leave soon and she would never see him again after he left. That thought itself bringing an odd feeling to her stomach, one she did not like.

"Re-really?" Spencer asks. He probably wouldn't normally do it but he thought it was the perfect excuse to see her again. He knew she couldn't possibly ever like him in that way, but he couldn't help the feeling he got when he thought of not seeing her again after he left. It was an odd feeling in his gut, and he didn't like it.

"Yeah, it's no problem and I did ruin your jacket. Here," Spencer watches as she digs through her bag, soon pulling out a pen. She opens the book and on the first empty page, she writes something down before closing it and handing it over to him. "Just read it and whenever you've finished you can call me or send a text."

Spencer carefully takes the book, opening the hardcover book to see what she had written. It was a number with her name below it, a smiley face following soon after. He smiles down at it, before carefully closing the book, almost like if he did it any faster it would all blow away.

"Th-thanks." He stutters, not knowing what else to say. He's never been in situation like this before. But she was just being nice right? She felt bad for spilling her drink on him and was trying to be nice.

"No problem really, I hope you enjoy it." Just as she fishes speaking, Spencer phone goes off. He mentally sighs, knowing what it meant. He wasn't ready to leave. Saying a quick apology, Spencer pulls out his phone to looks at the text he'd gotten.

"I'm sorry, that's work. I got to go." Spencer says regretfully as he looks up at the girl.

"Oh no, it's fine. I'm the one whos sorry, I hope I didn't make you too late and again, I sorry about your jacket." She gives him another smile and Spencer can't help thinking that he'd ruin all his jackets if it meant he could spend time with her.

"I-it's fine really, uh, thanks for the coffee and t-the uh the book." Spencer scoops up the book and slides it into his messenger bag, all the while smiling at Ryder.

At seeing his smile, Ryder's grew bigger. He had an amazing smile, she thought. It wasn't a big toothy smile but it was enough for her to see how amazing it was. "Yeah, just let me know when you finish it." Ryder says as she walks around the table, heading to the door with Spencer. "And," She starts hesitantly, "Maybe I could buy you another coffee sometime. Or any drink."

"Uh, um y-yeah. T-that'd be great." Spencer continues to stutter. Did this girl really want to spend more time with him? He had just thought she was being nice but now she's offering to buy him another drink sometime.

"Okay," Ryder breathes out with a smile. She surprised herself buy saying that, she's not normally the type, but there was something about this man and she found herself not wanting him to be out of her life just yet. So when he said yes, she gave a sigh a relief and smiled up at him. "I look forward to it."

"Y-yeah, me too." They both stand at the door for a moment, looking at each other before Ryder shakes her head.

"You're going to be even more late for work, I won't hold you up anymore."

"Right, thanks again for the coffee." Spencer says as he opens the door, allowing both of them to walk out onto the sidewalk.

"No problem, really. Well, I wish you a good day at work, and I hope you enjoy the book." Ryder motions to the messenger bag hanging off his shoulder, where the book now resides. Spencer knew it would only take him a few minutes to finish the book, but he wasn't going to tell her that just yet. He really wanted to see her again and didn't want to do anything to prohibit that from happening.

"Thanks, I'm sure I will." Spencer adjusts the strap on his messenger bag as he stops in front of Ryder. He wasn't sure what else he should say, he's been being cautious this whole time, not wanting to say something wrong.

"Alright, I guess I'll see you when you finish the book." Ryder gives him another smile, earning her one in return.

"Yeah, see you then." Spencer says before slowly turning to walk off. He knew he needed to get to work, Garcia texted him about a case, but it was like he was being drawn to this women. As he walks away it was like there was a rope pulling him back. He stops after a few strides and turns to see her still looking at him. When she catches his eye, she waves and sends him a smile. He'd only just met her but he couldn't seem to get enough of her smile. Smiling himself, Spencer waves back before turning and making his way into work.

* * *

"You're late, you're never late." JJ states as Spencer walks into the briefing room.

"Yeah, what you do? Fall asleep on your couch watching Star Trek?" Morgan teases while the youngest team member takes a seat to his left.

"No, I uh... got a coffee." Spencer wasn't going to tell the team about Ryder. He knew the teasing would never end. And he would admit to himself that he wanted something that was untouched by his work. Spencer saw Ryder as something pure and untainted by all the bad things he sees everyday and he would do anything he could to keep it from infecting her. She was like a brightness seeping into all the darkness he sees. And he didn't plan on snuffing out that light anytime soon. If ever, if he could help it.

"Then where is it?" Emily questions, pulling him from his thoughts of Ryder. Reid looks to his left, seeing Emily's raised brow.

"I drank it." He quickly answers, wanting them to drop the subject already. He loved his team, he really did, they were his family, but sometimes he wished they would just let him keep some things to himself.

"What happened to your jacket?" Morgan asks, inspected Spencer still damp jacket that he hung on the back of his chair.

"Isn't there a case?" Spencer ignores his friends answer and asks one of his own instead, looking around at everyone.

"Yes, there is." Hotch speaks for the first time, drawing everyones attention to him. Reid didn't miss the small looks the team gave him as they all turned their attention to the screen as JJ turned it on. "If you would JJ."

As JJ starts to talk about the case, Spencer finds himself glancing down at his messenger bag. The bag holding a simple book with a few simple numbers, and finds himself thinking back to the most beautiful smile he's ever seen.

A spilled drink, a ruined jacket, and a love for books. Who knew that was all it took to change someones life forever?

* * *

 **Thanks everyone for reading, hope you enjoyed it. This was just an Idea that came to mind and I decided to write it up really quick.**

 **I've started writing more to this story, but I'm going to leave it as a one shot for now. If you're interested in me turning it into a series, please let me know. Knowing there are people wanting to read more will help me write it.**

 **Takes place somewhere in the behinning of season 3, before Rossi joins. Spencer is about 26 and Ryder is 23.**

* * *

'-'


	2. It's a Date

**Hey! The second part is finally here. I'm so sorry for the super long wait, school and my other stories have been keeping me really busy.**

 **I was so happy to see people respond to this story so quickly and I'm so happy you guys liked it and wanted more.**

 **I really hope this chapter reaches expectations but I'm not a very confident person, especialy when it comes to my writing.**

 **I would love to read what you guys think of this chapter so please leave your reviews. Thank you so much!**

 **Word Count: 4,509**

* * *

It's been a few days since Spencer met Ryder, and he hadn't had time to read the book yet, the case taking all his time. But as everyone piles into the jet after a long few days, Spencer takes a seat in the far back away from everyone and pulls out the book that's been burning a hole in his messenger bag since he put it in there.

Even though he's just reading a book, Spencer felt the need to look up at the others, like if he got caught he'd get in trouble. Emily and JJ were sitting across from each other at the table, in a conversation between themselves. Hotch sitting on the other side, talking on the phone. Morgan was settling down in his own little world, maybe hoping to get some sleep.

Slowly opening the book, Reid looks down at the smiley face Ryder drew and finds himself wanting to see the real thing. This wasn't the hardest case he's ever worked on, but it was still difficult, as all of them are, and just imagining Ryder's smile makes him feel better.

Flipping through the pages, Spencer sees the small markings Ryder has made. Sections and words underlined or boxed in. Reid guessed they were her favorite parts, things that maybe spoke to her. He wondered if she did this with all the books she read.

As Spencer begins to read the pages, he finds himself going slower than his normal speed, taking more time to go over the areas Ryder marked. He wanted to finish the book quickly so he could see Ryder again but he wanted to really see the words, really read them. And he may have been stalling slightly, nerves getting the best of him. Would it be a date? She said she wanted to get a drink, she could have just picked up the book, something that wouldn't take long at all, but drinks, drinks take time. So does she want to spend time him?

Pulling out his phone, Spencer looks at the time. It was late, too late to call, but maybe not too late to send a text. Thinking it over, Reid glances down at the book - he was halfway through - then back to his phone. Deciding a text couldn't hurt, he quickly writes one out and hits send, trying to ignore the anxious feeling that started to creep up on him.

* * *

Digging through her bag, Ryder struggles to find her keys. It was late, she was tired, and her bag really seemed to hate her at the moment as it's hiding her keys, preventing her from unlocking the apartment door.

Just as she slides the key into the lock, Ryder's phone buzzes. Wondering who was texting her, Ryder continues into her apartment, turning left so she could set all her things down on top of the dining table before going over to her couch and plopping down. Sighing, Ryder pulls out her phone to see one unread message.

 _Unknown: Halfway through the book, love it so far. -Sincerely, the guy you spilled your drink on._

Ryder can't help the laugh that escapes her lips when she reads the message. She had been thinking about Spencer since she ran into him that day, she couldn't get those eyes out of her head. Eyes not much older than hers that held so much, they seem to hold enough for more than a lifetime.

Shaking away those thoughts, Ryder adds his number to her contacts before sending a reply.

 _Ryder: So glad you like it, I'm excited for you to finish it. What are you doing up so late? If you don't mind the asking._

Standing up from the couch, Ryder makes her way to her bedroom where she pulls out some sleeping clothes, planning to grab a quick shower before trying to get some sleep. It was a quick shower, Ryder put her hair in a messy bun to prevent it from getting wet. After she gets out, she removes her contacts, swapping them for her glasses.

Heading back into the living area, Ryder sits back down on the couch, and retrieving her phone from where she had placed it on the coffee table, she notices another message.

 _Spencer: Just got finished with work, decided to read. What about you? I didn't wake you did I?_

Writing out her reply, Ryder suddenly stops as a thought comes to her. Thinking for a moment, she wonders if it's the best idea. Would he mind? What if he didn't really want to talk to her? He did text her first. Shrugging, Ryder discards her reply and quickly hits the call button before she can back out of her decision.

" _Uh, hey_." Comes a hushed reply, making her really rethink her decision. She shouldn't have called.

"Um, hey. Sorry, I shouldn't have called, I'm just not much of a texter." Ryder quickly says, suddenly feeling nervous.

" _Oh, it's fine, I-I don't really text often either_." She hears Spencer say over the phone, voice still slightly hushed. Ryder momentarily wondered why he was talking quietly, but soon put those thoughts aside.

"So it's okay that I called? I'm not bothering you or anything?" Ryder really didn't want to annoy him, make him not want to talk to her. From the little time that she's known him, Ryder really likes Spencer, and she doesn't want to run him off.

 _"Y-yeah, it's fine. You could never bother me_." Ryder breathes a sigh a relief at his words, letting a smile overtake her face.

"And no, you didn't wake me. I just got home actually, also working."

" _You really were serious about having odd hours._ "

Ryder gives a small chuckle, slightly surprised he remembered that. "I'm always serious."

" _Is that sarcasm?_ " Spencer questions through the phone after a moment of thought. Ryder wondered if he actually didn't know she was being sarcastic for a moment. It took him a few seconds to answer like he was running it through his head a few times. She thought it was cute.

"Yes, yes it's sarcasm. Sorry, I find I do that sometimes."

" _No, don't apologize. It's late, I'll let you go if you're tired._ "

"No, no," Ryder quickly answers, not quite ready to hang up. "I'm actually a pretty big night owl. I find I do some of my best work at night."

" _Many people who classify as night owls feel they're more creative at night No one really knows why_." As Spencer was talking, Ryder lies down on the couch to face the tv, holding the phone to her ear. "It actually reminds me of a poem."

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

" _The woods are lovely, dark, and deep. But I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep_."

"Robert Frost, I know it well." Ryder responds with a smile, catching the quiet sound of a small laugh on the other end of the phone. "Remember that drink I offered?"

" _Yeah_." Spencer responds in a quiet voice after a moment.

"Well...what would you think about maybe, turning it into dinner?" Ryder finally gets out, her heart beating faster and faster in her chest. "Or lunch, lunch works too." She quickly adds, not wanting to come on too strong.

" _D-Dinner, dinner sounds great_." Comes Reid's stuttered reply, causing a relieved smile to spread over her face.

"Okay, great. Well, I'm free anytime soon, so just let me know when you're up for it."

" _My schedule is usually changing, but as of right now, I'm free tomorrow. Unless that doesn't work for you._ " Spencer says, quickly adding the last part.

"No, no, tomorrow night is perfect. Just let me know a time and a place, and I'll be there."

" _Do you like Italian?_ "

Ryder let her smile grow as she answered Spencer's question. "I love Italian."

" _O-okay, great. It's ah, it's a date_." Spencer says, still in his quiet voice, although Ryder could hear the smile through his words.

"It's a date," Ryder repeats Spencer's words, a smile evident in her voice. "I'm looking forward to it."

" _Y-yeah, me too._ " Ryder yawns right as Spencer says this, causing him to add. " _You're tired, I'll let you go_."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, it's been a long day." Ryder mumbles to Spencer, cursing the timing of her yawn. Yes, she was tired, but she enjoyed talking to Spencer.

" _No need to apologize, it has been a long day. Goodnight Ryder._ "

"Goodnight Spencer." Ryder bids Spencer a goodnight with a smile, unable to wipe it off her face.

" _Goodnight,_ " Spencer says one last time before slowly hanging up the phone, Ryder following soon after.

As Ryder sets the phone on her coffee table, she finds herself smiling at the tv screen as some characters try to get a couch up some stairs. It's a funny scene, but not what she was smiling about. She was smiling about Spencer. As she thought earlier, she hadn't known him very long, but she liked the way she felt when she thought about him and when she talked to him. Like when she thought about never seeing him again, that was a feeling she didn't like in her gut, this is a feeling she likes, like butterflies.

Manging to drag herself to bed, Ryder quickly falls asleep with a smile on her face.

* * *

"Alright, spill." Looking over the edge of her cup, Ryder gives her friend Steve a confused.

"What do you mean?" She asks while setting her cup back down onto the table.

"Don't give me that," Steve starts, pointing a finger at her. "There's something up with you today. You seem... well I'm not sure but it's weird." Smiling, Ryder raises a brow at him while he quickly adds with a thoughtful look. "Well, weirder than normal."

Huffing a laugh, Ryder avoids his eyes, choosing to look down at her food instead. "I'm not acting weird."

"Uh-huh sure," He hums, obviously not buying the lie. "I've known you too long to fall for that. Now talk."

Peaking up from under her hair, Ryder smiles as she whispers. "I have a date."

Steve fake gasps and puts a hand over his heart. "Oh, my what? Ryder Mathews has a date? Did I wake up in another dimension?"

Laughing, the young woman throws a blueberry at him, hitting him in the face. "Shut up." Steve laughs with her as he catches the blueberry, throwing it in his mouth.

"So, when's this date?" He asks as he chews.

"Tonight." Ryder tells him, causing herself to realize how close it was. She was going on a date. That night. In a few hours. She didn't even know what she was going to wear. Oh no.

"Don't freak out." Steve suddenly says, seeing the panic over take his friends features.

"Not freaking out." Ryder tells him after taking a deep breath.

"Mhm. So, tell me about this lucky person, How'd you meet?" Steve inquires, taking a sip of his own drink.

"His name is Spencer, and I may have spilled my drink all over him and ruined his jacket."

"Of course you did." Steve responds, not sounding or looking the least bit surprised.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ryder questions, raising her eyebrows.

"You've always been clumsy." Steve states matter-of-factly.

"Have not." She mumbles weakly in defense.

"So, do you know where you're going?" Ryder opens her wallet while Steve questions her, pulling out enough money for the bill and extra for a tip.

"Um, he said something about Italian. Didn't say where though." Ryder answers, looking up in time to see an odd look on her friends face. "What?"

"Nothing, I just haven't seen you like this since Tom left." At his words, Ryder frowns, her good mood dampening slightly.

"Yeah, I know... can you blame me?" Steve's right, Ryder hadn't been feeling her normal self since Tommy left again. She'll always worry about him, like all siblings worry about each other, whether or not they would admit it.

"No, of course, I can't." Steve leans forward and takes Ryder's small hand in his larger one, giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Thanks, Stevie."

"For what?" He asks with a furrowed brows.

"Being the greatest friend anyone could ask for." Smiling, Ryder turns her hand over and grips Steve's tightly. "That's enough of that for today."

"Yeah, I pretty sure we have somewhere to be anyway."

* * *

Sighing in defeat, Ryder throws another outfit onto her bed. She was convinced at this point she would never find something to where. It sounds girly, she knows, she wasn't normally like this. But sue her, she wanted to look nice. Dating has never been her thing, anyway. Sure, she's been on a few before. The only guy she ever really dated asked her out their senior year in collage but it didn't go anywhere. He kind of creeped her out.

Letting out a groan, Ryder throws her phone onto her bed next to the growing pile of clothes. It was getting late, she was going to have to leave soon. She should call Steve, she thinks, ask him for help. They were both good with clothes, but it seemed all her knowledge on the subject has suddenly disappeared from her brain.

"No." Ryder mutters to herself. She will not call Steve for this. She was an adult, not a two year old, she could dress herself. Although, she imagined any two-year-old was more functional than her right now. Closing her eyes, Ryder takes a deep breath before marching into her closest with the mission not to leave until she finds someone to wear.

Yes, she has a very large closet, with lots of clothes. But in her defense, half of them are for work.

This is just the first date, Ryder tells herself, she doesn't want to go crazy with her outfit but she also wanted to impress. Something casual but dressy. Would a dress be to much? She does love a good dress but always preferred pants. "I'm thinking about this to much." The young woman mumbles aloud with a shake of her head.

Grabbing her dark, high waisted skinny jeans, Ryder drapes them over her arm before looking at the tops. A splash of purple catches her eye and she turns to grab the dark, purple sweater from the rack. it was light and flowy, the neckline was lose and would show off her shoulders. Smiling, Ryder nods to herself before moving to find shoes. It wasn't a hard choice. Purple sweat, purple high tops. It was a hobby, she supposed, collecting all different colored converse shoes.

Quickly changing, Ryder looks in the mirror to make sure her hair still looks okay. The light brown locks fell in easy waves around her shoulders. It was simple but classy. Nodding to herself in approval, Ryder grabs her jacket and purse before heads down the hall. Her and Spencer had decided to meet at the restaurant. He'd sent her the address earlier that day.

With another deep breath, the woman opens her apartment door and exits, turning to lock it behind her as her phone buzzes in her hands. Looking down, Ryder smiles down at the text from her friend.

Stevie: Good luck tonight. Let me know if I need to help you bail out.

He really was a great friend, Ryder thinks as she sends her reply, really hoping she wouldn't have to take him up on his offer.

* * *

People. People rushing or walking by. On their way home or some even to work, some going to meet with freinds or significant others. Maybe they're going out for drinks or dinner, maybe deciding to just go home for the night and relax.

Some people waiting for others, like a particular young man with shaggy brown hair standing, outside a small Italian restaurant, nervously fiddling with his hands.

He's dressed nicely, but it's not too different from his normal attire. A button up shirt, tie, and slacks. It's really all he owned other than sleeping clothes, he didn't need anything else.

He looks back and forth at the people walking, getting more nervous by the second. He had shown up early, not wanting to be late. He wondered if she would be late, or maybe right on time. The thought of her not even showing up briefly crossed his mind, not for the first time, and it didn't help with the heavy feeling in his chest.

At the sound of a loud noise, Spencer turns his head to see a group of friends, all laughing as they make their way down the street.

"Spencer?"

Jumping slightly, the tall man quickly spins around before freezing at the sight before him.

Ryder was standing there, wearing a dark purple sweater with her hair falling in more defined curls than the last time he saw her, although they were still soft. She had minimal amount of make-up on, it helped define and bring out her eyes, other than that there wasn't much else, letting the freckles that lined her nose still be seen.

"I'm sorry, did I scare you?" The young women asks him with a small frown. Great, she thinks, the date hasn't even started and she's already scared him.

"N-no, I just uh, got distracted," Spencer assures her, only partly lying. He prefers to think of it as leaving out the truth. He was distracted, that much he told her, but she did scare him a little.

"Okay," Ryder breathes a small sigh of relief. "Good." They both stand there for a moment, looking into each other's eyes before Spencer brakes the growing silence.

"Shall we?" He uses his arm to gesture into the restaurant to his left.

"Oh yes, we shall." Ryder responds with a smile and turns to small building, walking through the door as Spencer holds it open for her. Ryder honestly couldn't remember the last time someone held the door for her. Other than Steve.

After getting there seats, Ryder takes a second to look around at the little restaurant. It's bigger than she thought when she saw it from outside, she imagined it being smaller. There were a good many other people here yet it didn't seem crowded, which was good for Ryder, she hated feeling crowded. There were larger tables and smaller ones, like the one she and Spencer were sitting at. It had a darker setting to it with little lights on the ceiling, giving it a nice cozy yet spacious feeling. She really liked it.

"This place is beautiful." Ryder comments with another quick look around. "I wasn't sure if I would be underdressed or anything." She stats nervously.

"You look beautiful." Spencer says, proud of himself that he didn't stutter. Looking into his eyes, Ryder feels a blush rise in her cheeks as a smile grows on her face. She's been called pretty before, but she never really felt it until Spencer said it.

"You too." She says before she could catch herself. "I mean handsome. You look handsome, not beautiful." Ryder quickly corrects herself before looking down as heat rises in her face. Did she really just call him beautiful? Great going. Hearing a soft laugh, Ryder peaks up to look at Spencer to see him smiling at her. "I'm sorry." She winces. "I'm not very good at this."

"Me neither." Spencer admits with a small smile.

"Well, if you're up for it, we could learn together?" She asks with a nervous smile. She really hoped he's say yes.

"Y-yeah, I would like that." He tells her, watching the relief flood over her face. He could tell she was nervous, he was too. He found it odd though, how could a woman as beautiful as her be nervous around someone like him? He was nerdy and dorky, he had weird hair, how could anyone want to be with him?

"Okay, good." Ryder gives a relieved sigh. "Okay, what do people do on first dates?" She questions, more herself than Spencer. Before either of them could say anything else, the waiter comes over to take their drink order. They both get water and the waiter quickly leaves with a promise to be back soon to take down their food order.

"Have any recommendations?" Ryder asks as she looks up from her menu at the man across from her.

Spencer proceeds to tell Ryder the best things on the menu while giving her the facts and history behind each dish. He was more nervous at first, no one ever likes to listen to the random facts he can say off the top of his head. The team will listen to him, but he can see it in their faces that they're not very interested. But when he looks at the smile on Ryders face his nerves calm down. She seems to be truly interested in what he was saying and normally he wouldn't have a problem reading someone but he found himself sometimes unsure about her.

Ryder listened to Spencer tell her about his favorite foods and the histories behind them. It was interesting she thought, to learn all about it. She loved learning new things and she's always loved food, she used to help her mom cook, it was how they bonded.

They soon ordered their food and continued to talk until it came, only slowing down slightly to eat. It was a little awkward and slow at first but after they got into the rhythm of talking, time easily passed.

For the first time in a while, Reid completely forgot about work. He forgot about the cases and the horrible images that haunt his dreams most nights. He just talked. He talked about random things, nothing related to work, while smiling and laughing.

Ryder couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to Spencer, especially on the first date. She's never had much experience with first dates, but she was sure they were supposed to be harder than this.

She loved every second of it and was sad when they finished off the last of their dissert, signaling it was time to go.

"Thank you, for tonight, I had an amazing time." Ryder tells Spencer as they walk side by side down the sidewalk.

"Yeah, me too." Spencer says as he stuffs his hands into his pockets when he finds himself wanting to reach over and take her hand. He found it odd that he wanted to do that, he doesn't even shake people's hands much less hold some ones for a long period of time.

"Um.." Ryder starts to say but hesitating. "Walk me home?" She asks as she peeks up at Spencer with a hopeful smile.

"Of course." Spencer nods with a smile, looking down into her eyes. He still can't get over how beautiful she is. And that smile, he knows as long as he gets to see her smile, everything will be okay.

They didn't talk much on there walk, but their pace was slow and they stood close, arms brushing together. It was different from dinner when they talked a lot, but it wasn't any less amazing.

"Well, this is me." Ryder says as she comes to a stop in front of a gated apartment building. "Tonight was...probably the best date I've ever been on, but I honestly don't think that says much because I haven't been on many dates. Oh, not that I'm saying it wasn't great because I don't have much to compare it to, really it was amazing and I'm going to shut up now." Looking down to hide her flushed face, Ryder bites her lip and she mentally scolds herself. The night was going so well, why did she have to go and mess it up by opening her big mouth?

Hearing a quiet laugh, Ryder peeks up from under her hair to see Spencer smiling down at her. "I'm sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous. It's one of my many flaws."

"Well, from where I stand, I don't see any flaws." Spencer finds himself saying. He's not sure where the sudden confidence came from, but as he watches Ryder try to contain the huge smile on her face, he couldn't care less.

"I-I don't know what to say to that." Ryder admits when she could finally look up into Spencer's eyes again.

"You don't have to say anything, your smile is enough." Spencer tells her, again confused by the words that were coming out of his own mouth. He's never been good at talking to girls. That's always been Morgan's strong point, not his.

"How are you still single?" Ryder asks him in amazement.

"I'm not normally...You make this easy."

"Well, I'm glad, because I would really like to do this again." Ryder tells him with a smile.

"I-I would really like that too."

"Okay," Ryder says with a sigh of relief. "Well, as much as I don't want to leave your company, I have work super early in the morning."

"Yeah, yeah, of course." Spencer nods in understanding.

"Well, goodnight Spencer Reid. I really enjoyed tonight."

"As did I, goodnight, Ryder Mathews." Spencer says as he slowly steps away from her, walking backwards and keeping his eyes on her face.

"Goodnight." She calls with a wave, her smile stretching across her face.

"Goodnight." Spencer calls out before quickly turning around as his foot catches on the curb, causing him to stumble slightly. "I'm good." He shout when he looks back to see Ryder with a concerned yet amused look on her face.

"Goodnight." Ryder calls one last time with a chuckle in her voice before turning to open the gate to her apartment complex. "Goodnight, Spencer Reid." Ryder whispers to herself with a glance over her shoulder to the receding image of Spencer, her smile never faltering.

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 **Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I would love to read your thoughts in the reviews.**


	3. Lost Moment

**Sorry for this chapter, it's super short, but I really wanted to get something posted.**

 **Thank you everyone for reading, I hope you like this chapter and I would love to read what you guys think of it in the reviews.**

 **Words: 2,423**

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"Good morning." Ryder greets Spencer with a smile as she sits across from him. He had called her the night before, asking her to breakfast before he had to get to work. Is hours are unpredictable and he wasn't sure when they would get the chance to go out again.

"Good morning." Reid greets back, smiling at the young women sitting in front of him. They both sat in the outdoor second of the little café, warmed by the morning sun shining down on them.

"So sorry I'm late, something came up with work as I was walking out my door." Ryder tells Spencer as she settles into her seat. She'd gotten a call just as she was closing her door, delaying her by a few minutes, therefore making her late.

"No, it's fine, I understand. Especially when it comes to work." Spencer nods to her, completely understanding how easily work can get in the way of your personal life. And she was only a few minutes late, he wouldn't mind waiting forever if it meant seeing her again.

"You know, you never did tell me what you did for work." Ryder says as she looks over at Spencer. They had talked a lot on their date, but the subject of work never came up for either of them.

"And you never told me what you did for work." Spencer shoots back as he quickly glances at the menu.

"Are you dodging the question, Spencer Reid?" Ryder asks with an amused smile, raising one brow.

"Technically it wasn't a question." He informs, dodging the question for a second time.

"Okay then, I'm asking. What is it that you, Spencer Reid, does for work?"

Taking a deep breath, Spencer looks over at Ryder and decides it's best to tell her now as she's going to figure it out eventually anyway. And just because she knows what he does for work, that doesn't mean he can't keep her away from it. Who knows, it might even make it easier. "I work for the FBI." He blurts out. Ripping the band-aid off, they say.

"Really?" Ryder asks, trying not to show to much surprise. Not that she thought he couldn't do it, she knew Spencer could do anything he wanted and be amazing at it, she just wasn't expecting FBI. "May I ask what it is you do for the FBI?"

"Yeah, I uh, I work with the BAU. Behavior analyst unit. We predict the behavior of criminals in order to help us catch them." Spencer tells her, trying his best to describe what he did without putting to much detail into it. He loves what he does but it's dark and evil and he'll do all he can to keep that away from Ryder.

"The BAU." Ryder whispers to herself. "Wait," She suddenly says, looking Spencer in the eye. "Do you carry a gun?"

Letting out a small laugh, Spencer nods his head, "Yes, I do carry a gun."

"I always thought about getting a gun. Can't be too careful, right?" Her mother always kept a gun in the house and Tommy has always said she should get one, she just never got around to it.

"I could probably help you with that." Spencer says just as their waitress walks over to there table, notepad in hand and a smile on her face.

"So sorry for the wait. My name is Alex, I'll be your waitress today. I can take your orders now if you're ready." The dark haired girl says to them.

"Um, I'll have orange juice with blueberry pancakes please." Ryder tells the young girl with a smile, handing over her menu when Alex offers her hand. "What?" Ryder asks when she notices Spencer looking at her after he orders his own food.

"Nothing." Spencer says, shaking his head.

"Is it my food choice? I will not apologize for liking blueberry pancakes, they've always been my favorite. My mother made the best blueberry pancakes." Ryder says sternly but with a smile, remembering all the times her mother made her blueberry pancakes. Whether it was morning or night, they were one of her favorite foods.

"No actually, blueberries can help heart health, bone strength, skin health, blood pressure, diabetes management, cancer prevention, and mental health. One cup of blueberries provides 24 percent of a person recommended daily allowance of vitamin C. So it's a good choice." Spencer informs her.

"Well I have to admit, I didn't know all that. I mean I assumed blueberries were on the healthy side but I never thought all that stuff." Ryder says just as their waitress comes back with their drinks.

"What about you? What do you do for work?" Spencer asks after taking a sip from his drink, getting them back on topic.

"Well, it's going to sound a little boring compared to the FBI, but I'm a photographer. That's what came up earlier, one of the models I photograph a lot called, something happened and her calendar got messed up and she needed some information." Ryder explains before taking a sip of her juice.

"That's definitely not boring." Spencer tells her as Alex walks over with their food, setting it down in front of them and making sure they didn't need anything before walking off to tend to her other tables.

"Reid?" I voice says from behind Ryder, interrupting whatever it was Spencer was about to say.

"Hotch?" Ryder hears Spencer say as she glances over her shoulder to the man standing in a suit not far behind her, a young boy beside him clinging to his hand tightly.

"Hi, Uncle Spencer." The little boy waves to Spencer, his young voice high in pitch.

"Well, are you going to introduce us?" The older man Ryder took to be Hotch asks Spencer with a glance towards her.

"Oh, uh, Ryder this is Hotch, my Boss. Hotch, this is Ryder my..." Spencer says, momentarily freezing up. What is Ryder to him? She's obviously his friend, but is she more than that? "Friend." Spencer decides to say, he's not going to say anything more without asking her first.

"Ryder Mathews, it's nice to meet you." Ryder says while trying to contain her smile at Spencer's awkwardness.

"Aaron Hotchner, nice to meet you too." Hotch nods once, noticing how she didn't offer her hand to shake despite being close enough to.

"Daddy, can I go with Uncle Spencer to get donuts?" The little boy questions his father, tugging on his hand.

"I thought we agreed on something with less sugar, Jack." Hotch says as he crouches in front of his son.

"Okay," Jack mumbles with an unhappy sigh, "But can I go with Uncle Spencer?" Looking away from his son, Hotch looks over at Reid and watches him share a glance with the young women before turning to Jack, telling him that he would love to take him to get his breakfast. Smiling, Jack grabs onto Spencer's hand, letting Spencer guide him inside.

"I'll be right back." Spencer tells Ryder with an apologetic smile.

"It's okay." Ryder assures him with a smile. She thought it was adorable and sweet. And she's always had a soft spot for children.

"Sorry about him, I don't mean to interrupt your date." Hotch says to the young women standing in front of him, using the word date to see if it got a reaction out of her. Hotch has noticed Reid acting different lately, in a good way, but he wasn't sure what had caused it. Until now anyway.

"Oh no, it's perfectly fine. I don't mind at all." Ryder tells him with a smile. She truly didn't mind waiting, but she's never been the best at starting a conversation with certain people, Spencer's boss apparently being one of those people.

"Spencer..." Hotch starts, catching Ryder's attention. "Spencer, he's been through a lot of stuff recently. But lately, I've noticed he's doing better. Are you the one I have to thank for that?"

"Um, I mean, I uh, I haven't, I.." Ryder stumbles over her words, feeling flustered suddenly. How was she supposed to respond to that?

"Well," Hotch continues once he notices that Ryder wasn't sure what to say. "Whatever you're doing, don't stop. And don't hurt him either."

Hearing Hotch say this, it was clear to Ryder that he cared about Spencer in more ways than just his boss. He had a fatherly vibe about him, she could respect that. And his son called Spencer 'Uncle' and she was sure they weren't actually related, so they must be close. She imagines people working closely for long periods of time, it would be hard not to grow close.

Nodding her head, Ryder looks Hotch in the eyes as she promises both herself and him that if she could help it, she would never hurt Spencer. "I won't."

"Daddy, look!" A small, high pitched voice calls, causing Hotch and Ryder to turn their heads and see Jack trying to walk faster towards his father with Spencer trying to keep up with him. "Uncle Spencer got me a muffin."

"I see that buddy. And what do you say?" Hotch asks his son.

"Thank you, Uncle Spencer." Jack says to Reid before taking the last few steps towards his father.

"No problem, Jack." Spencer says with a smile and a small wave towards the boy.

"Come on buddy, we got to go." Hotch holds his hand out for his son to take. "Reid, I'll see you at work." With a nod towards both Reid and Ryder, Hotch turns and leads his son away.

"Well, he seems cheery." Ryder says as she turns to Spencer.

Sensing her sarcasm, Reid gives a small laugh as he sits back down. "He can seem serious, he-he is serious, but you just got to get to know him. He's a good guy."

"You look up to him." Ryder observes, looking over the table at Spencer with a smile.

"Uh, I-I mean, uh-"

"It's a good thing." Ryder assures him. "Having someone to look up to, especially if that person is your boss."

"Yeah, I guess." Spencer says before taking a bite of his food.

"So," Ryder says, a smile playing at her lips. "Friend?"

"Oh, uh, I-" Spencer starts, stuttering as he tries to find his words.

"It's okay," Ryder cuts him off, chuckling. "I mean, this is our second date. I don't even know what we are." She says, starting to feel uncomfortable herself.

"I just didn't want to overstep." Spencer admits sheepishly.

"No, I don't think you would have been overstepping." Ryder tells him. "So if in the future you ever have to introduce me, I wouldn't mind if you called me something more than a friend."

"I-I would like that." Spencer says, matching Ryder's shy smile.

"Me too."

Finishing up there breakfast, Ryder suggest taking a walk through a nearby park after she notices they both have time before they have to be anywhere. "I love this place. I've done quite a few photo shoots here." Ryder says as she looks over the park, a peaceful smile on her lips.

"It's beautiful." Spencer agrees, looking down at Ryder more than the scenery.

"Oh, over there," Ryder says with an excited smile, grabbing Spencer's hand, pulling him to a stop before pointing to an area with a lot of flowers. "Last Halloween I did a photo shoot with a single model dressed as Disney princesses. That was one of the spots we took photos and I remember this little girl coming over all excited that she was meeting a real-life princess."

Turning her head, Ryder sees Spencer looking down, soon realizing he was looking at their connected hands. "Oh, I'm sorry." Ryder says as she goes to remove her hand from Spencers, only to be stopped as he holds tight.

"It's okay. I-I mean if it's okay?" Spencer questions, his heart fluttering at the contact, hoping she wouldn't let go.

"Yeah, it's okay." Ryder says smiling up at him before they continue to walk, hand in hand.

But all good things come to an end as Spencer gets a call from work. It was an urgent case that he needs to rush off too, leaving Ryder to make her own way back home to get everything together for the photo shoot she had later. He apologized many times after he hung up the phone, causing Ryder to shake her head and tell him that it was okay, she understood.

"You have lives to save, don't ever apologize for that." She tells him. "Call or text me when you can, okay? Let me know you're okay."

"I-I will." Spencer says, suddenly seeming nervous.

"You okay?" Ryder asks, worried it was something from work.

"Y-yeah, uh, it's just..." Spencer trails off, biting his lip. "Nothing, it's nothing."

"You sure?" Ryder questions, knowing it wasn't "nothing", but not feeling like she had no place to push.

"Yeah, I'll call you when I can. Or text, I-I can text." Spencer says, trying to stop stuttering.

"Okay, yeah. Well, you should go, I don't want to make you late again." Ryder tells him. "Well, goodbye."

"Goodbye." Spencer says as he slowly lets go of Ryder's hand, knowing he needs to get to work fast. "I'm sorry, again."

"It's okay, I promise. Just go, don't be late?" Ryder chuckles, lightly pushing Spencer away from her.

"Okay, bye." Spencer repeats, waving as he runs off to work. I should have kissed her, Spencer thinks to himself as he makes his way to work. That's why he got so nervous so suddenly, he felt like saying goodbye wasn't good enough. It's too late now, the moments gone.

Sighing, Ryder watches until she can't see Spencer anymore before she takes one last look at the park. Turning in the opposite direction that Spencer went, Ryder makes her way home, wishing she had had the guts to kiss Spencer goodbye.

But it's too late now, moments gone.

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 **Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

 **I'd say keep your eyes out for the next chapter, but who knows when that will be. I won't lie, I'm a huge procrastinator. Sorry.**


	4. Kiss Me?

**So sorry for the long wait and the short chapter. It's a short but sweet one, so just hang on a little longer because I have more interesting things planned. The team might be finding out soon? What do you guys think? Let me know.**

 **Words: 2,005**

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It was a few days later that the two saw each other again. The case Spencer had to run off too didn't take as long as they normally would, but neither he nor Ryder had the chance to escape from their jobs to see each other before he was called away to another case.

Ryder missed spending time with him of course, but she understood that he had to go, he was saving peoples lives, after all, making the world a safer place one criminal at a time.

And of course Spencer missed Ryder as well, he loved his job but it was hard, some cases taking bigger tolls than others. Sometimes he wished he could just leave and never come back, never have to look into the lifeless eyes of another person that would forever be saved in his head, never to be erased, and instead look into the lively eyes of Ryder Mathews, the short, brunette girl with a smile bright enough to chase away the shadows of his mind.

Like now, as she sits across from him at the little cafe she had first brought him too after spilling her drink on him, smiling as she looks over to him, noticing his stare.

"What?" Ryder asks him with a quiet laugh, momentarily wondering if she had gotten some crumbs on her face.

Shaking his head as he pulls himself away from his thoughts, Spencer smiles at the girl before answering with words that surprised even himself. "Nothing, just admiring the view."

Feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, Ryder hides her growing smile behind the cup in her hands, letting out another quiet laugh. "Not much to admire, really." She says after a moment, taking a small sip of her drink.

Furrowing his brows in confusion, Spencer looks at Ryder as she casts her own eyes towards the window, watching the people was the walk past, going about there day. "Not from where I'm sitting." He says, his words surprising himself again. Where were these words coming from? They didn't sound like him. He can spew out random facts and knowledge in one breath but casual conversation and, dare he say, flirting was not something that came easily to him.

Laughing a bit more loudly this time, Ryder sets her cup down and turns her full attention to Spencer, "I quite like my view as well." She says while playfully lifting one brow, her smile turning into a smirk for only a moment before she laughs once more. "How have you been?"

Smiling fondly at the young women, Spencer takes a moment before he speaks as he truly didn't know the answer to that question himself. "Not bad, how have you been?" He decides to say, drawing the attention away from himself and onto her instead.

"Alright, I suppose, you know, the normal." Ryder informs, not missing the way he quickly threw the attention away from himself. "Rough week?" She questions him softly as she studies him for a moment, noticing the way he would wring his hands occasionally.

"Huh?" Spencer asks as his attention snapping back to Ryder. "Oh, uh, normal I suppose." He finally answers, using similar words to her previous ones. Ryder knows she couldn't begin to understand what working Spencer's job is like. She's seen her fair share of evil in her lifetime, but he works day in and day out seeing probably the most evil things this world has to offer, what humans are truly capable of. She can't even imagine and wonders how he does it.

"You know," She starts after a moment, both her hands rotating her cup around the table, "For most of my life I had trouble talking to people. And I think that was because no one ever told me I could until one day someone did. And I'm not saying you don't have other people who would be willing to listen, but I want you to know that I am. I'm here and you can talk to me if you want. Or just, you know, sit in silence." She quickly adds, meaning it just as seriously as the rest, but saying it with a smile to keep the mood light.

Looking up at the young women in front of him as she shyly looks down at her cup, Spencer feels an odd warmth flooding through him. Sure he knows anyone on his team would be willing to listen to him but he's never been able to bring himself to talk to them about this stuff. He knows they see the same things he does and he doesn't want to admit the effect they have on him and seem even weaker than he already does. And he has no one else to talk to, his father hasn't been in his life for a long time now and his mother is in no condition. Not that he would tell her these things anyway, she would only worry.

"Thank you." Spencer tells her sincerely, a small smile on his face. He greatly appreciates her offer and as much as he would like having someone to talk to about everything he sees daily, he didn't think he would ever be able to completely open up to her about his work. The mind can only take so much evil before it's never the same again, whether it sees it in person or hears it in stories, and Spencer didn't want to risk Ryder having to even imagine seeing the things he does.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I need to stretch my legs. Up for a walk?" Ryder asks Spencer, the small smile she previously wore now replaced by a much bigger one.

As his own smile grows, Spencer nods as he stands from his seat and, to Ryder's slight surprise, offers his hand to the younger women.

Accepting his hand, Ryder's smile doesn't waver as the two make their way out of the café and onto the sidewalk. "So, is there any place that you, Dr. Spencer Reid, would like to take a walk?" She asks him, using his title as Dr. as she had previously learned about his many Ph.D.'s.

"There might be a place, if you're willing to stick with me." Reid tells her with a smile and a glance down at her.

"Always." She responds with a smile when their eyes meet, realizing how easy it would be to get lost in his deep brown eyes.

With a destination in mind, Reid holds tight to Ryder's hand and makes his way through people and cross streets until he makes it to the familiar park that holds more people than any other day as it was the weekend, the chess tables he often found himself at mostly full.

"And I somehow don't find myself surprised." Ryder jokingly says once she also sees the chess tables, remembering the times Spencer had mentioned the game to her. "Okay, now sit." She says before Spencer could get a word out, removing her hand from his to take hold of the camera that was hanging from her neck.

"What?" Spencer questions with a small chuckle, looking down at her.

"C' mon, it'll make a good picture." She tells him as she motions towards the empty chess table, giving him a slight pout until he shakes his head, moving to sit on the chair, feeling awkward as Ryder raised her camera to take his picture.

"Don't think about it, just act like you're playing a game." Ryder tells him, noticing his tensed shoulders and the clueless expression on his face. "Come on, please? Just humor me. Shaking his head again, Spencer laughs as he turns his attention to the bored and studies the abandoned game, reaching forward to move a piece, the faint sound of a camera shutter reaching his ears. "Perfect." Ryder mumbles as she looks down at her camera, smiling at the pictures before looking back to Spencer, making a mental note to look them over later. "I'd offer to play a game but I know you'd beat me before I even realize what was happening." She chuckles with a shy smile. Sure she knew how to place chess and she was decent, but she knew she wouldn't last playing against Spencer.

"You never know." Spencer says with a smile.

"Oh but I do know." Ryder says back with a smile as she walks closer to Spencer, joining him as he stands from his seat, taking hold of Ryder's hand once more.

"As much as I enjoyed today, I need to get back home. Photoshoot got rescheduled due to weather last week and I can't miss it." Ryder mournfully tells Spencer a little while later as the walk together, hand in hand. "Walk with me?" She asks hopefully as she looked up at him.

"Of course." Spencer nods, loving the way her eyes light up when she smiles up at him.

"Thank you so much for today, Spence, it was amazing." Ryder says to him once they reached her apartment, the rest of their walk having been spent in comfortable silence.

"Yeah, it was pretty great." Spencer responds with a smile, taking both of Ryder's hand in his had she stood in front of him, loving the way his name sounded coming from her.

"Yeah..." Ryder trails off, biting her lower lip as her eyes unintentionally drop down to Spencer's before she quickly brings them back to his eyes, noticing how his eyes had done the same.

"Kiss me?" Ryder surprises herself by asking, feeling her heart drop to her stomach at the thought of being rejected before all thoughts leave her at the feeling of Spencer's soft lips on hers.

Responding immediately, Ryder wraps her arms around Spencer's neck, lifting to the tips of her toes to reach more comfortably as she moves her lips in sync with his, his arms go around her waist.

Breaking away all too soon, Ryder keeps her arms around his neck as she catches her breath, looking up at him with what she had no doubt was a goofy smile on her face.

"Well if that's not a proper goodbye, then I don't know what is." Ryder says with a laugh, once again biting her lip as she backs away from Spencer just enough to keep her hands between his neck and shoulders, his own hands on her waist.

Ducking his head with a small laugh, Spencer feels his cheeks heat up. He had been wanted to kiss Ryder for a little while now but he didn't want to overstep, so when she asked him, he didn't waste any time.

"Thank you again, Spence. I had a great time today."

"Y-yeah, me too." Spencer said, stuttering slightly as he looked Ryder in the eye, his smile matcher her own.

"Keep in touch, yeah?" Ryder asks, her insecurities taking over, causing worry to set in. Worries that he wouldn't be interested anymore or that he never was in the first place.

"Of course." Spencer tells her seriously, easily reading the expression on her face.

"Okay." She smiles, her worries disappearing for now as she quickly rose back to the tips of her toes to give Spencer a quick kiss before backing away in fear that if she didn't, she'd stay there forever.

"Okay." Spencer repeats as he also backs away.

"Goodbye, Spencer. See you soon." Ryder decides to say instead of ask, hoping it would be true.

"Yeah, see you soon." Spencer agrees as he slowly backed away, watching rider do them same towards her apartment.

Chuckling, Ryder waves to Spencer once there farther apart and turns to her apartment, glancing over her shoulder back towards him once she reaches the door, catching his eye as he does the same thing.

Shaking her head, Ryder's smile doesn't disappear as she walks into her apartment, feeling happier than she had in a long time.

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 **Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you thought about this chapter and what you think is coming next.**

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	5. Always

**Well a new chapter way before I expected.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy, w** **e get to** **learn a bit more about Ryder's past in this chapter.**

 **Thanks so much for the reviews! I love reading them so much. If you guys have any questions just let me know and I'll answer them for you.**

 **Words: 4,024**

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"Beautiful," Steve says as he snaps another picture of the dirty blond-haired model, Natalie, earning a smile and head shake from Ryder as she looks down at her camera. He's had a crush - is it still called that when you're adults? - on her for a while now, Ryder knows, but he hasn't done anything about it.

"That's great Nat, we still on for breakfast tomorrow?" Ryder asks the older girl as she struggles to untangle the cords in her hand.

"Definitely," Natalie nods with a fond smile. She's been a model for a long time, since she was a teenager, and it's rare to find photographers that make you feel like yourself, like you're not wearing a mask. She's always found she feels comfortable in her skin around these two rather than feeling like she has to be someone else with other photographers. And Ryder's always been so sweet and kind to her.

"Great. Would you mind if Steve comes along?" Ryder questions with a glance at the older man from the corner of her eye.

"No, of course not." The model quickly says, smiling towards Steve.

"Oh, no, I couldn't impose," Steve was saying as he discretely glares towards Ryder.

"No, you wouldn't be, I'd love to have you there, Steve." Nat shakes her head, sharing a look with Ryder.

"Oh, alright," Steve gives in after clearing his throat, excusing himself to grab something for his camera.

"One sec," Ryder tells Nat with a smile before rushing after Steve. "C'mon Steve, she'd love to have you there." She repeats with a teasing smile once she catches up to her friend.

"Shut up." Steve tries to say sternly but couldn't quite keep the smile off his face.

"I mean, you come and we all sit down and I may or may not get an important phone call and have to leave you two alone..." Ryder trails off, lifting her brows with a smile as Steve gives her a look.

"I don't know, Ry." He says, suddenly serious.

"Oh Steve, I know things didn't work out with your last relationship but that was a while ago, you can't think that all relationships are going to turn out that way, you deserve to be happy, whether that's single or in a relationship," Ryder tells her friend, hating the thought of him not being happy. "And I know for a fact that this little crush isn't one-sided." She adds with a smile, lightening the mood.

"Crush? What are we, twelve?" Steves asks rhetorically, trying to shift the attention off the topic.

"Oh but you didn't deny it." Ryder says with a laugh, nudging Steve's shoulder as they make their way back towards Natalie, a buzzing in her back pocket catching Ryder's attention. Now normally she wouldn't take phone calls while with a client but with Steve here she decided it couldn't hurt. "I'll just be a second." She mumbles to Steve when she reads Spencer's name lighting up her phone.

"Uh-huh, sure." Steve says sarcastically, also seeing Spencer's name, before continuing the walk back to Natalie.

"Hey, Spence," Ryder answers her phone, a smile on her face as she turns her back on her two friends, taking a few steps away.

"Hey." Spencer responds in a hushed voice.

"You're whispering," Ryder tells him in her own hushed voice. Why? She wasn't sure, she just found herself doing it.

"Uh, yeah. We just got done with a case, I didn't get the chance to call you before we boarded the plane." He informs her, wary of his team members not far from him.

"You landing soon?"

"Yeah, shouldn't be too much longer," Spencer hums, giving a shy smile to Emily as she walks passed him.

"Well I'd say let's grab a late dinner but I'm sure you're tired," Ryder says, looking down at her feet as she kicks the ground. She wanted to see Spencer but it really was late, she didn't want to keep him up.

"No, no, well I mean yeah, a little bit, I-I mean," Spencer stumbles over his words before pausing and taking a breath. "I would really like to get dinner with you."

"You sure?" Ryder asks him, happy she could possibly see him but not wanting him to miss out what she thought was some probably much-needed sleep.

"Yeah, I'm definitely sure," Spencer says, already feeling better just by talking to her. "Just, maybe we could skip dinner and just get ice-cream or something?" He suggested tentatively, thoughts of the cannibalistic killer causing him to lose his appetite.

"Yeah, sure. I know a place, open late, has the most amazing milkshakes." Ryder nearly gushes, a fond smile on her face as she thinks of the small diner she discovered a night many years ago, a night that had started out awful but ended with one of her favorite memories.

"Sounds amazing. I'll ah, I'll call you when I'm leaving the office."

"Okay, sounds good. See you soon."

"See you soon," Spencer repeats, waiting a few moments before hanging up the phone, Ryder following soon after.

"Okay, sorry about that guys." She says once she catches up with Natalie and Steve, the two sharing matching smirks as they look down at the shorter girl.

"What is this Steve tells me about a boyfriend? How could you not tell me?" Natalie asks her friend, no real malice in her words.

"I know, I'm sorry, just, hadn't gotten around to it yet." Ryder tells her friend with a sheepish smile.

"Well, you can run on off now." Steve tells her, drawing her confused glace towards him.

"What?"

"We were basically done anyway and I know you got your shots already, go run off to be with your guy." Steve shrugs, only acting annoyed as he waves her off.

Biting her lip, Ryder turns her attention towards Natalie. "I better see you at breakfast tomorrow." She tells her, pointing a finger at her before moving to hug her.

"Of course, you guys are the best." Giving Steve a quick hug, Ryder turns away from the two before making her down the sidewalk and towards her car.

Finally arriving at her apartment, Ryder parks her car before making her way inside, the buzzing from her pocket catching her attention for the second time that night.

"Hey Spence, I was just-" Ryder starts before Spencer's voice interrupts her.

"Ryder, I am so, so sorry but I can't go out tonight."

"Oh, okay, that's alright, is everything okay?" Ryder questions with furrowed brows. She may not be a profiler like Spencer, but she can easily tell something was off by his voice.

"Um, yeah, no, um I'll call you back, okay?" Spencer rushes, feeling bad about canceling but not knowing any other way around this, having just received a call he never thought he would've.

"Yeah, yeah, okay, be safe." Ryder nods even though he can't see, worried about whatever was going on, many thoughts going through her head. She just hoped Spencer was okay.

"Okay, I'll call you later." Spencer says one last time before hanging up the phone, leaving Ryder standing in the hallway alone, phone held limply in her hand.

Finally snapping out of her thoughts, Ryder walks the last few steps to her apartment door, sliding the key in and opening it up. "I'm sure everything is fine." Ryder tells her self aloud in hopes of making herself believe it. It didn't work.

Lying her belongings on the kitchen table, Ryder makes her way into the bathroom and turns on the shower. Before entering the water, Ryder turns her ringer up as loud as it will go in case Spencer called.

The steam starts feeling the bathroom as Ryder tries to let the hot water relax her. It doesn't help. Her mind is racing, to many thoughts flying around her head. She get's out quickly

"I need a dog, or a cat." Ryder states to herself as she looks around her empty apartment, the silence sounding oddly loud. Shaking her head, Ryder turns to the kitchen, the sudden loud ringing sound causing her to jump and yelp, her phone falling from her hand and onto the hardwood floor. "Holy mother of-" She says, hand over her heart before another loud ring sounds throughout her apartment. Bending down Ryder quickly retrieves her phone, answering soon after she sees Spencer name light up her screen.

"Spence?" She asks, worry seeping from her voice. "Are you alright?"

"Um," Spencer mumbles after a moment. No, he wasn't fine in all honesty. One of his team members was fighting for her life after being shot. "Yeah," He finds himself saying instead, taking a deep breath as he leans his back against the wall, sparing a glance down the hall towards his other team members.

"I'm um, I'm at the hospital-" Spencer starts to explain, only to be cut off by Ryder as her heart drops to her stomach at hearing those words.

"What!?"

"No, I'm fine, I promise." Spencer hurriedly assures her, sliding down the wall until he's seated on the cold, hard ground.

"Spencer please talk to me." Ryder begs as she falls onto the couch.

Closing his eyes, Spencer takes another deep breath, hating the way Ryder's voice sounds. Confused and worried rather than her normal happy, cheery voice. "Um, one of my team members, she ah, she was shot." Reid finally forces out.

"Oh my- Spencer, I am so sorry. Is she-" Ryder says, sadness flooding her systems as she cuts herself off, not sure how to voice her question without causing Spencer more hurt.

"She's in surgery now." Spencer informs her, understanding what Ryder was thinking.

"Oh Spence, I am so sorry, do you need anything? Can I do something? I can come to the hospital or something?" Ryder spits out, wanting nothing more than to comfort him.

"No, no, it's getting late. You should just stay at home. My team and I are going to work the case." Spencer tells her, turning down her offer no matter how much he wanted to take it.

"You sure?" She questions softly.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Th-thank you though, I appreciate it." Spencer says as he looks down towards his team, catching Morgan's eye.

"Yeah, sure, just call me if you need anything, okay? And keep me updated?" Ryder asks hopefully, shifting in her seat and pulling her legs under herself.

"Yeah, yeah, I will," Spencer nods once he breaks eye contact with Morgan. "Don't stay up though, get some sleep, I'll text you when I know something."

"Okay." Ryder reluctantly agrees. "She'll be okay Spence, I'm sure of it." She tells Reid after a moment. She wishes she could tell him in person. Be there with him, to comfort him.

"Thank you, Ryder." Spencer says, wishing he could just be with her, wrap his arms around her and hide his face in her hair to escape from the reality he was currently living. But he couldn't do that now, he had to be strong and he had to be present if he was going to help Penelope.

"Of course. Call if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah. Bye." Spencer ends the call after hearing Ryder's soft 'bye', afraid that if he didn't do it now, he'd never hang up. Taking one last deep breath, Spencer stands from his spot on the floor and walks back over to the rest of the team.

"Who was that?" Morgan asks him, nodding his head towards Spencer phone as he slips it into his pocket.

"Uh, no one." Spencer poorly lies, saved from any more questions as an old man in scrubs walks over to them, gaining the whole team's attention.

"Penelope Garcia?" He asks, looking down at a chart in his hands.

"Yes." Emily and Hotch say in unison.

"The bullet went in her chest and ricocheted into her abdomen. She lost a lot of blood. It was touch-and-go for a while, but we were able to repair the injuries." The doctor informs them.

"So what are you saying?" JJ questions.

"One centimeter over and it would have torn right through her heart. Instead, she could actually walk out of here in a couple of days." The doctor tells them, earning relieved sighs from everyone. "And I'd say that's a minor miracle. She needs her rest. You can see her in the morning."

"David and I will go to the scene, I think the rest of you should be here when she wakes up. I don't care about protocol, I don't care whether we're working this officially or not. We don't touch any new cases until we find out who did this." Hotch tells his team, earning nods of agreement from everyone.

Feeling as if a weight had been lifted from his heart, Spencer once again steps away from his remaining team members and pulls out his phone. It hadn't been that long since he talked to Ryder but he didn't want to risk calling her and waking her up. So instead Spencer writes out a text letting her know that Penelope was okay, smiling when she texts back almost immediately.

"Nobody?" Morgan's voice sounds from behind him, causing Spencer to jump slightly.

"What?" Spencer asks, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

Giving Spencer a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes, Morgan decides to drop the subject for now and instead asks, "I was gonna go get coffee for everyone, want a cup?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks, Morgan." Spencer nods, glad he didn't push the subject anymore. Call him selfish, but Spencer wasn't ready to share Ryder with the team. Hotch already knew about her by accident, but Reid knew he wouldn't say anything to the rest of the team.

He would tell them, one day. Today just wasn't that day.

* * *

It was a few days later that Ryder really heard from Spencer. He had sent her texts when he got that chance, letting her know he was okay and that he and his team were still working on the case, until they finally caught the guy. He had called her earlier that day and Ryder suggested they go out for those milkshakes they never got the chance to, promising him they'd make him feel better.

That's how Ryder finds herself walking down the sidewalk in the direction of the diner.

Hearing a ding from her phone, Ryder removes it from her back pocket and looks down at the screen, but before she was able to see who it was, Ryder bumps shoulders with someone passing by, causing her to drop her phone. "Oh, I'm sorry.." Ryder tries to apologize, trailing off when the man keeps walking passed her like nothing even happened. "Okay then." Bending down, Ryder picks up her phone and continues on her way, glancing over the shoulder to where she could still see the hunched form of the man she had bumped into.

Shaking her head, Ryder slips her phone back into her pocket, the message she had received long forgotten as she continues her way to the diner, catching sight of Spencer as she neared it. "Hello, stranger." She greets him with a smile that only grows when he takes hold of her hand before kissing her.

"Hey." Spencer greets back, smiling down at the shorter girl, studying the way her smile lights up her beautiful face.

"Rough few days?" Ryder asks him, smile gone from her face as she gives his hand a light squeeze.

"Yeah, better now though." Spencer tells her, successfully bringing the smile back to her face as Spencer leans down for another kiss.

"Wanna go in?" Ryder questions once they pull away.

Nodding his answer, Spencer holds tight to Ryder's hand as she leads him inside the diner and over to a booth where she sits across from him. "I love this place, actually did a photoshoot here once. I used to come all the time with my brother." Ryder tells him, smiling fondly as she looks around the retro diner.

"What's your brother's name?"

"Tommy." Ryder quickly says before correcting herself. "Well, Tom I guess, I'm the only one who calls him Tommy. Do you have any siblings?"

"Um, no, no, I'm an only child." Spencer tells Ryder right as an older waitress comes over to take their order.

"Ryder, dear, haven't seen you in a while. How are you doing sweetie?" The strawberry-blonde lady asks the younger women, the wrinkles around her eyes more prominent when she smiles.

"I'm good Ms. Linda, just been busy, how about you?" She kindly asks the older women she's known since she was a teenager.

"Oh you know, same old same old. How's Tom doing? You heard from him recently?" Sitting back in his seat, Spencer watches the scene in front of him, noticing the way Ryder's smile drops slightly as she answers the older women's question.

"No, not recently." Ryder shakes her head with a small frown.

"Oh that's alright sweetie, I'm sure he's just fine." Linda says while placing a comforting hand on Ryder's shoulder for a moment before turning to Spencer. "And who might this handsome young man be?"

Chuckling at how uncomfortable Spencer suddenly looks, Ryder's gaze shifts to him as she answers Linda's question, her eyes not leaving his. "This is Spencer, my boyfriend?" She hesitates slightly and it ends up sounding more like a question. She and Spencer never talked about it, she had mentioned something that one time but they never actually used the words boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Yeah." Spencer agrees, nodding his head.

"Oh, how wonderful." Linda says with a big smile. She's known Ryder since she was a teenager, having known her brother since he was little as their mother liked to bring him here growing up. Ryder and Tom were almost like grandchildren to her. "Well, what can I get the lovely couple today?"

"Well I know I said milkshakes but I'm actually a little hungry." Ryder admits to Spencer with a sheepish smile.

Chuckling, Spencer agrees and they both end up ordering a burger and fries with their milkshakes.

"If you don't mind me asking," Spencer starts once Linda walks away to prepare their order. "Where is your brother?"

"No, that's okay. Tommy is in the army. He ah, he got deployed about five months ago." Ryder says as she plays with a napkin to distract herself, Spencer's hand soon finding hers as he reaches across the table. "I mean it's not the first time, you know? He enlisted when he was twenty, he's been gone before and he's always come back but it doesn't make it any easier."

"I'm sorry." Spencer's voice is sincere when he gives Ryder's hand a comforting squeeze.

"Thanks Spence." Just then Linda comes back with their food and milkshakes, causing the two to break contact to allow her to set down there plates on the table. "Thank you, Ms. Linda." Ryder says with a smile towards the older lady before she walks off, leaving the two alone once again.

"What about your parents?" Spencer asks after a few minutes, looking over at Ryder as she twirls a french fry around in some ketchup.

"Oh well, you see that answer is a bit more complicated." She tells him, looking down at her food.

"You don't have to tell me." Spencer quickly says. He knows very well what it's like to not want to talk about something.

"No, no, it's okay. Just..." Ryder trails off, looking up at Spencer and giving him a smile that didn't reach her eyes. She liked talking to Spencer, she found it oddly easy, but she didn't want to unload all of her baggage on him, what if he decided to leave her for it? No, Spencer wouldn't do that. With this in mind, Ryder takes a deep breath before she starts speaking.

"My mother, Eleanor was her name, uh, she passed away three years ago." She says while avoiding Spencer's eyes, speaking again before he could say anything. "And don't get me wrong when I say this, Eleanor was a great mother and I loved her but she wasn't my real mother."

Feeling Spencer's confused gaze burning holes into the top of her head, Ryder looks up to meet his eyes. "She adopted me when I was fifteen. Um, her husband had died a few years prior and she'd always wanted another kid, but she was getting older and without her husband around she didn't think she could raise a baby so she decided to adopt older." Ryder shrugs while gesturing to herself, letting out a small laugh that holds no humor.

"Tommy was actually adopted too, just when he was a baby. Mom and her husband tried for years and couldn't have kids so they decided to adopt." Ryder continues before rubbing her face, letting out another laugh. "I'm sorry, that was a lot and I just kind of dumped it on you."

Quickly standing from his seat, Spencer moves to sit next to Ryder and gently grabs hold of her wrists and pulls them away from her face, holding her hands in his lap. "Please don't be sorry." He tells her, removing one of his hands from hers to gently turn her head towards him.

Feeling Spencer's feather-light touch on her jaw, Ryder slowly turns her head up to meet his eyes, smiling softly when she sees the look in his eyes. Not judgmental or annoyed but acceptance and understanding.

"You can always talk to me." He tells her with his own soft smile, happy she was able to open up to him.

"Thank you." Ryder mumbles, her heart swelling with happiness at the amazing man sitting across from her. "You don't know how much that means to me."

"Come here." Spencer places his arm around Ryder's shoulder and pulls her into his side. Wrapping her arms around his waist, Ryder rests her head against Spencer's chest, the sound of his heartbeat relaxing her. Placing a light kiss to the top of Ryder's head, Spencer asks, "You ready to go?"

Nodding, Ryder pulls away from Spencer and smiles at him, sliding out of the booth after Spencer, grabbing his offered hand before leaving the diner, paying on their way out which Spencer insists on doing.

"So, I'm free for the rest of the day if you're not tired of me yet." Ryder tells Spencer as they walk down the sidewalk, one of her hands in his, the other resting on his arm.

"I'll never be tired of you." Spencer responds, looking down when he feels a pressure on his shoulder, seeing she's leaned her head against him.

"Well, we'll see about that." Ryder jokes. Slowing to a stop, Spencer turns and looks down at Ryder, and gently places his hands on either side of her face before leaning down to kiss her, Ryder's own hands coming to hold his wrists as she returns his kiss.

"Did you know that you are a really good kisser?" Ryder asks him with a smirk after pulling away.

Blushing, Spencer smiles as he looks down, lowering his hands to take hold of hers. "Can't say I've ever been told that before."

"Well, you are." Ryder tells him, smiling at how cute he looks when he became shy. "C'mon." Tugging on his hand, Ryder starts leading him away. "You willing to stick with me a little longer?"

"Always." Spencer answers, the smile never leaving his face.

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 **Well, the team still doesn't know but I think Derek might be on to Reid. Let me know what you guys think in the reviews. Thanks so much for reading!**

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	6. Well, You See

**Super short chapter but I though it was best to post by itself. I'm trying to get into this story faster, get more stuff happening. Ryder and Spencer's relatioship is growing and they're becoming closer.**

 **Thanks for the reviews! I'm so glad you guys are enjoying.**

 **Words: 1,490**

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"Reid," Hotch calls to the youngest team member as he approaches his desk late one night after a case. "Reid?" He says again once he's closer as he didn't gain a response the first time.

"Huh?" Spencer mumbles in response to his boss, only sparing him a glance as the older man towers over him.

"It's late." Hotch reminds him.

"Yeah, I'll head out in a bit," Spencer tells him without looking up from his desk.

Hotch knew this last case wasn't easy for Spencer after he watched a kid get gunned down. Whether he was the unsub or not, something like that is never easy. No matter how he acts around the team, Hotch knows he has a hard time dealing with some things. He's just always thought it was best to wait instead of trying to get him to talk as he knew he wouldn't if he didn't want to.

"Reid," Hotch said once more, finally gaining the younger mans attention. Opening his mouth to say something else, Hotch gets interrupted by Spencer's phone vibrating on the desk.

"I think you should answer that call." He decides to say when he sees who's name was on the small screen before walking away and back up to his office, pausing at his door to look back to Reid, watching as he brought the phone to his ear, a small smile appearing on the younger mans face.

Hotch had noticed a change in Reid's behavior. He hadn't been in a good place after the Tobias incident and although he had gotten better he knew it still wasn't easy on him and then Gideon leaving hit Spencer hard. But he'd noticed a change in him lately, a good change. Then that one day he was able to take Jack out for breakfast and he saw Spencer with a beautiful young women, huge smiles on both of their faces, he knew then that she was the reason Spencer was doing better.

And watching him now, a smile slowly taking over his face as he talks with her on the phone, standing to collect his jacket and messenger bag, Hotch knew she was helping him and knowing that, he couldn't stop the tiny smile that pulled at his lips.

* * *

"So I know it's getting late but I may or may not have ordered way too much Chinese food and there's no way I can eat it all and it's never the same after spending the night in the fridge so I was thinking if you were hungry, maybe you could come help me not waste food?" Ryder said in a hurried voice after Spencer answered his phone.

"How much food did you get exactly?" Spencer asks her, a smile slowly coming to his face.

Pausing in her back and forth pacing, Ryder looks over at her coffee that was now covered in Chinese take out boxes and bites her lip. "Well, you see, I may have thought I was more hungry than I was and everything on the menu looked really good."

"You ordered everything on the menu?" Spencer asked her, a small laugh in his words.

"Well..." Ryder says with another glance towards the food. "Not everything, just, a lot of it. Maybe most of it." She mumbled, twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

"Wow." Spencer says as he stands from his desk, grabbing his jacket and messenger bag.

"Oh don't make fun of me, are you going to come help me or not?" She asked, a pout in her voice as she finally stops moving and takes a seat on her couch.

Laughing, Spencer loops his messenger bag over his shoulder as he answers his girlfriend. "Okay, okay, I'm coming." He tells her with a laugh, waving to Hotch as he turns to leave, swearing he saw a small smile on the man's face.

"Okay, good."

"I'll be there as soon as I can." Reid tells her as he waits for the elevator.

"Okay, see you then." Ryder says, fidgeting the sleeve of her sweater.

"See you then." Spencer says before hanging up the phone and stepping onto the elevator. The thoughts of his last case slowly slipping from his mind.

The thought of Spencer being inside of her apartment finally hits Ryder and she jumps up from the couch to look around quickly, making sure the place was in order and even though it all seemed to be, she still walked around, straightening things up.

She realized she was just nervous after straightening the flowers on her kitchen table for the third time. "Geez Ryder, calm down." She tells herself as she hears her phone ding from the couch.

Reading the message from Spencer telling her that he was almost there, she quickly texts him back with her apartment number before going back to her pacing until she hears a knock on her door.

Giving her apartment one last glance, Ryder walks to her door and opens it, smiling up at Spencer. "My hero." She says with a smile, moving to the side to allow him entrance. "I do hope you're hungry."

Smiling down at Ryder, her large sweater basically swallowing her as it goes passed her hands and down to her mid-thighs, tendrils of hair falling from the messy bun she had her hair in, Spencer couldn't help but think she looked adorable as she led him over to her couch where he finally saw how much food she had ordered.

"Wow, you really did order the whole menu." He jokes, hands by his side.

"I did not." Ryder says defensively, lightly slapping Spencer's shoulder, only earning her a laugh from her boyfriend.

"Hey." Spencer says after turn towards Ryder, hands leaving his side to reach out and find hers, the fabric of her sweater feeling soft in his hands.

"Hey." Ryder says back, lifting onto her toes to kiss him. "How was your day?"

"Uh, maybe we could talk about your day instead?" Spencer suggested, wanting anything but to talk about his day.

"Yeah, okay." Ryder agrees, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his chest as she looks up at him. He didn't have a good day, she could tell that, but something else was different but she wasn't going to push. If he wanted to talk he would, she couldn't push it, she just had to keep letting him know that she was there for him. "I'm here, you know."

"I know." Spencer tells her, placing a kiss on her nose before moving to her lips.

"Just don't forget it." She says, turning her head to rest fully against his chest, tightening her arms around his as his own wrap around her shoulders. "The food gonna get cold." Ryder reminded him after the stood there for a moment.

Chuckling, Spencer pulls back from the hug and removes his bag from his shoulder and sets it on the couch as Ryder walks around and takes a seat, Spencer soon joining her.

"Okay, there's a lot so just dig in." Ryder tells him, turning the volume up on the tv slightly.

"Okay, no, here let me show you." Ryder said as she leaned over to Spencer, taking his hands in hers as she shows him how to hold the chopsticks. "Just hold them between your fingers like this and just move them back and forth."

"It's just not practical." Spencer said, drawing a laugh from Ryder as she tried to help him.

"Do you want a fork?" Ryder asked him after another failed attempt.

"Please?" He asks, watching Ryder stand from the couch and walk over to the kitchen, pulling two forks from the drawer, returning and handing one to him, using the other one for herself which he found odd because she had no trouble using the chopsticks as he had.

"What?" Ryder asks when she caught Spencer eyeing her fork. "Chopsticks, what can I say? They're not very practical."

After finishing as much food as they could, Ryder snuggled into Spencer's side as they watched a random movie that was on tv, enjoying each others company.

"Thank you." Spencer whispered to Ryder, pulling her closer.

Understanding that he meant more than just for the food, Ryder only nodded her head as she relaxed against Spencer, enjoying the comfort and warmth he was giving off.

Looking down at the girl in his arms, Spencer feels a smile come to his face. He wasn't sure how he got so lucky but he did and he couldn't be happier.

Being with Ryder he was able to forget, forget all the bad things he sees every day. This last case had ended badly and he knew it was only the first of many more to come but he was able to forget about that and be happy when he was with her.

Spencer was starting to think he couldn't be without her.

* * *

 **Aren't they just adorable? Thanks so much for reading! Ryder and Spencer are getting closer and the team still doesn't know. Only Hotch. How do you think the team will find out? I love reading reviews if you'd like to leave one!**

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	7. Lucky Ones

**I'm glad you guys like this story so far. I was wondering if you guys liked it the way it is or want to see more drama or something else, just let me know! I really want you guys to love this story and your feedback is a tramendice help with writing it.**

 **Thanks again for reading and the reviews!**

 **I don't know if I'll post another chapter too soon, I should probably write far ahead before I do so not sure when the next chapter will be going up.**

 **Words: 2,649**

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Spencer and Ryder continue to see each other when they can, between both their jobs. Spencer busy with cases and Ryder busy with her work, Photoshoots along with a few meetings and editing. The last few times Spencer has seen Ryder he opened up to her a bit more. He didn't go into detail with anything, he just told her he had gone through something bad a little while back and sometimes had trouble. Trouble dealing with things and when he saw that kid killed in front of him he wasn't in the best of places. Although he hadn't told her that's what happened, he just said a case had ended badly.

It was hard for him, but easier than he'd thought it would be to talk about it. And although he didn't get into detail, Spencer felt much better after talking to Ryder. And he was eternally grateful that she still accepted him.

He hadn't realized how long he had been talking one night and ended up there passed midnight and Ryder had offered to let him stay so he wouldn't have to travel home so late. He was hesitant at first, he didn't want to impose or make her uncomfortable but she had insisted with that smile of her's and he couldn't resist.

So he stayed the night, sleeping soundly with his arms wrapped around Ryder. He would be lying if he said it wasn't the best nights sleep he's had in a long time.

Waking the next morning, Ryder rubs her foggy eyes before looking up at Spencer's sleeping face. He was adorable when he was sleep, Ryder thinks as she carefully detangles herself from his arms without waking him up. Sneaking out of her bedroom, Ryder quietly makes her way down the hall and into the kitchen with the plan to make breakfast. Spencer had opened up to her last night and although he didn't use a lot of detail she was happy he was starting to trust her. It made her feel all warm inside.

She didn't have a coffee maker because she never drinks the stuff so she couldn't make him coffee but she knows she made killer pancakes. So collecting all the ingredients, Ryder starts mixing everything up, grabbing some fresh blueberries from the fridge to put in her own.

"Morning." A groggy voice says from behind Ryder as she stirs the pancake batter, causing her to turn to see Reid standing in front of the kitchen, hair tousled from sleep, his white undershirt wrinkled.

"Goodmorning." Ryder greets with a smile, setting the bowl down before walking up to him, trying to smooth down his wild hair.

"Why are you so cheery?" Spencer asks her as he rests his head on her shoulder, hands holding her waist. Don't get him wrong, he slept great last night, doesn't mean he wanted to get up just yet.

"Because I get to make my amazing pancakes for my amazing boyfriend." She tells him with a smile, her hands covering his to keep them on her waist as she leans back to look Spencer in the face.

"Pancakes?" Spencer asks, perking up a bit.

"Yup. I'm putting blueberries in mine." Ryder states while turning away to continue cooking.

"Of course you are." Spencer mumbles, coming to stand behind Ryder, his arms wrapping around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"Oh shut up." Ryder shoots back playfully. "I'm sorry I don't have a coffee maker or anything, just juice."

"That's okay." Spencer says, kissing her cheek and moving away from her towards the fridge, opening it to grab the orange juice before setting it on the counter, going to the cabinet to grab two cups. Leaning his back against the counter behind Ryder, he watches her as she cooks, not able to keep the smile from his face. He was so happy right now as he watches her, he thinks she looks adorable. She had pulled her hair into a messy bun on top of her head, still in her pajama shorts and a batman T-shirt.

"You're staring." Ryder tells him with a smirk, looking at him from over her shoulder.

"It's kind of hard not too." Spencer responds before pouring both of them a drink while Ryder brings two plates over, coming around the counter to sit on one of the barstools.

"Please, I'm still in my pajamas." Ryder says, looking down to hide the blush rising in her cheeks.

"You're beautiful." Spencer mumbles as he lifts her head with a hand under her chin, leaning down to kiss her. Pulling away, Ryder smiles and shakes her head. She would never get tired of hearing that.

Settling into a comfortable silence, the couple eats their breakfast until Ryder speaks up as she finishes her food. "You still going to a meeting tonight?"

"Yeah." Answeres Spencer after taking a sip of his drink.

"You want to come over after?" She asks, knowing he shouldn't be alone. A head nod was the only answer she receives, so it was Ryder's turn to use her hand and turn Spencers head towards her and place a kiss on his lips. "You want to shower before you go into work?"

"Mhm." Spencer hums his answer, eyes still closed as Ryder gives him another quick kiss.

"Okay, there are clean towels in the bathroom, you go shower and I'll wash the dishes and change. Maybe I can drive you to work? We can stop for coffee on the way." She asks hopefully, smiling when Spencer agrees before going to take a shower, leaving Ryder to quickly wash the dishes and change.

"Call me tonight, I can pick you up if you want." Ryder tells Spencer as they say their goodbyes for the day.

"Okay, I might just take you up on that." Spencer says with a grin, his hand sliding around the back of her neck as they lean across the car to give each other a parting kiss.

"Okay, have a good day." Ryder mutters when they separated, giving Spencer a smile and wave as he exited the car.

With the way the day started, Spencer figured it would be hard to have a bad day at this point. Or at least he hoped he was right.

* * *

Having to call and tell Ryder he had a case was not how Spencer saw his night going, but he wasn't surprised either. Ryder had told him she understood like she had every other time he had to cancel for a case and she told him she'd be there when he got back. He feels guilty for canceling on her all the time, the way she always says she understood somehow making him feel even worse. He wasn't sure why, but it did.

He should have known when that morning started so good that he was going to have a bad next few days.

When he got to the office to start the case he had been late, resulting in teasing from his team members and then the case started and he saw so much of himself in the unsub. It got to him and he took out his anger on everyone around him. He was angry that everyone around this kid didn't do anything to help him when he so obviously needed it. It reminded him of when he was a kid in school, all the things that happened to him.

He realized he was being unprofessional but he couldn't help it and he found himself lashing out at others, even going to the extent to lie to Hotch and confront the dangerous unsub, risking his life and others in doing so.

It's later that night on the plane headed home as Spencer twirls his phone in his hands that Hotch came to talk to him, "You knowingly jeopardized your life and the lives of others, I should fire you. You're the smarted kid in the room, but you're not the only one in that room. You pull something like this again, you will be. Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir." Spencer tells his boss with a nod of his head. "It won't happen again. Thank you."

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that that would have been the second time a kid died in front of me." Spencer says, looking down at his phone to avoid his boss's eyes.

"You're keeping score, just like Owen."

"It was my turn to save one."

"It doesn't work like that."

"It should." Spencer says to him, a humorless smile on his face.

"I know it's painful when the person you identify with is the bad guy."

"What's that make me?" Spencer asks, finally looking up to meet Hotch's gaze.

"Good at the job." Hotch tells him. Hotch wasn't one to show emotion much, but it definitely didn't mean he had none. "I know it's none of my business, but I think you should make that phone call." He nods his head towards Spencer's phone.

Nodding, Spencer looks back down at his phone. He had been thinking about calling Ryder since before he boarded the plane. He wasn't sure why he didn't just do it, but something was holding him back. He knew whatever it was had to do with this case and the feelings and memories it brought with it.

But he decided to ignore those feelings as thoughts of Ryder's voice floods through his head, telling him it didn't matter, that he could talk to her, that she was there for him. So picking up his phone, Spencer quickly calls her, looking over his shoulder at his sleeping team members.

"Spence?" Ryder's voice says, sounding through his ear as he closes his eyes, leaning back in his seat.

"Hey." He responds quietly.

"What's wrong?"

"Rough case." Spencer says, knowing he didn't have to say anything more.

"You almost back?"

"Soon."

"I'll be here." Ryder says, letting him know he could come to her if he wanted.

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me." Ryder tells Spencer, feeling her heart clench in pain at the sound of his tired, defeated voice.

"Stay on the phone with me?" Spencer nearly pleads, never once opening his eyes.

"Of course."

And she does, Ryder stays on the phone with Spencer until he lands. Going between small talk and not talking at all until she has to hang up, offering to pick him up at the office to which he declines, saying he had a few things to take care of first.

And what felt like forever later, a small knock sounds at her door, causing Ryder to jump up from the couch and open it, immediately wrapping her arms around Spencer's neck, his own going around her waist. "Do you want to talk about it?" She questions, her voice slightly muffled by Reid's shoulder. Tightening his hold on Ryder, Spencer shakes his head as he buries his face further into the crook of her neck. "That's okay, you don't have to." She reassures him, her left hand coming up to play with his long hair.

"I will," Spencer tells her, reluctantly pulling away from Ryder's warm embrace. "Just not right now, if that's okay."

"Of course that's okay." Ryder nods, stepping back into her apartment, allowing Spencer to do the same. "Are you hungry, or anything?" She asks him after he sets his bag down by the couch, coming back to stand in front of her.

"Not really." He mumbles, playing with her fingers and avoiding her eyes. "You have small fingers." Laughing at Spencer's random statement, Ryder moves her hand flat against his own, the size difference very obvious. "See, small." Spencer says as he takes both of Ryder's hands in his own, covering them both completely.

"How do you know my hands are small and your's aren't just big?" Ryder asks, confusing herself a little.

"What?" Spencer asks with a laugh.

"I don't even know." Ryder says, laughing as well. "But hey, I got you to laugh."

"Yeah, you did." Says Spencer, leaning down to place a kiss on Ryder's lips.

After they separate, Ryder leads Spencer over to the couch where she turns on the tv and cuddles into his side while they watch in silence for a while. Ryder knows Spencer has a lot on his mind when he doesn't say anything about the movie, never pointing out the mistakes or anything. He just sits there in silence, playing with her hair. She wasn't going to push him to talk, she didn't think that's what he needed right now, and she trusts he would talk when he was ready. And her thoughts were confirmed as Spencer's voice broke the silence between them.

"He reminded me of myself." Is all he says, his hand still brushing through her hair, his eyes never leaving the tv.

"Huh?" Ryder asks him softly, turning her head to look up at his face.

"The unsub." Spencer mumbles before realizing Ryder probably didn't know what that was and corrected himself. "The bad guy."

"Oh, Spence." Ryder sighs sadly, reaching up to turn his head towards her so she could look him in the eye, any words she had dying on her lips when she sees the emotions behind them.

"He was just like me, tormented in school, absent parent. Poor kid just needed help and no one around him did anything." Spencer leans into the hand Ryder places on his cheek but doesn't meet her eyes.

"Spencer look at me." Ryder says more sternly than before, causing his eyes to snap to hers. "You are not and never will be a bad guy. You went through some horrible stuff when you were growing up but you didn't let that define who you are. You are one of the greatest people I've ever met. And please don't ever think otherwise." Grabbing her wrist, Spencer pulls on her arm, bringing it around his neck as he pulls her closer, burying his face in her shoulder.

Allowing him to pull her closer, Ryder wraps her arms around hm and runs her fingers through his hair, laughing when she feels Spencer place a kiss on her neck. "Are you ticklish?" Spencer asks her, pulling away just enough to see her face.

"No, maybe, yes, a little." Ryder reluctantly says, knowing there wasn't any way to get around it.

"How about here?" Spencer asks before squeezing her sides, drawing a surprised squeak from Ryder.

"Spencer!" Unable to control her giggles, Ryder grabs Spencer's wrist in a poor attempt to stop him. "Spencer, stop." She says, laughing hard enough to bring tears to her eyes.

"But you're so cute when you laugh." Spencer tells her, stopping his movement but not removing his hands from her sides.

Catching her breath, Ryder wipes the tears from her eyes, attempting to glare at Spencer, only resulting in her laughing even more. "There are other ways to make me laugh that doesn't involve tickling me to death." She tells him, tapping him on the chest.

"How did I get so lucky?" Reid asks, looking down into Ryder's eyes, smiling fondly at her.

"No, I think I'm the lucky one." Ryder tells him, reaching up to push some hair out of his face.

"You'd lose that argument," Spencer responds before leaning down to place a kiss to her lips, Ryder responding immediately by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

Truth was, they were both lucky. Running into each other that morning was the best thing that ever happened to them, and their lives would never be the same because of it.

* * *

 **More bonding between these two, it was Spencer's turn to open up this time.**

 **Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed this chapter and leave feedback, it really helps me write.**


	8. No Threatening Allowed

**Okay, I lied, I couldn't resist posting this chapter. I really need more self control. Oh well. Here's you guys another chapter. I've been getting idea's to make this story more interesting and I'm so excited to write them.**

 **Thanks so much for the reviews! Love reading them. Last time I asked for some feedback, I want to know what you guys want so I can write it for you. Lenika08 gave some great input and I'm going to try and write that into this story more. I would love to know what you guys think.**

 **Okay, enough of my boring rambling, hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

 **Words: 2,214**

* * *

"Hey, Reid," Morgan says as he walks up to his team member and friend, watching the younger man pack up for the night. "You up for drinks?"

"Not tonight, Morgan." Spencer tells him without stopping in his movements, having just texted Ryder to inform her he was leaving work.

"C'mon man, why not? You haven't been out with us in a while." Morgan groans, suspicious of the kid. He had been turning down all the offers for drinks and food after cases lately. At first, he had been worried, thinking his friend hadn't been doing well but that worry soon left his mind when he noticed Reid's behavior. The lack of bags under his eyes, his light attitude, smiling and joking around. Well, as much as Reid can joke.

"Another time, Morgan." Spencer says as he throws his messenger bags strap over his shoulder.

"Another time, what?" Emily asks as she approaches the two.

"Pretty boy here is turning down drinks, again." Morgan tells her as he sits on the edge of Spencer's desk.

"Again? Come on, Reid, I feel like we never see you outside work anymore." Emily tells her younger team member.

"Sorry guys," Reid shrugs apologetically. He was sorry, he enjoys his team's company and he feels guilty for not telling them about Ryder but he just wasn't ready yet. He felt that the moment the team knew about her it wouldn't be the same. She was his escape from work and everything connected to it. If they know, he's afraid it won't be the same. But deep down he knows that's not true, he just wasn't ready to tell them. "Next time."

"That's what you said last time." Morgan points out, grabbing Spencer's jacket before he can.

"Morgan." Spencer sighs, looking at the older man.

"He's right, Reid, you've said that the last two times actually," Emily says, coming to stand next to Morgan as they both observe Spencer with curious eyes.

"Yeah, he did, didn't he?" Morgan questions, holding Spencer's jacket behind his back.

"I've just been busy." Was Spencer's poor excuse.

"Uh-huh." Emily says in disbelief as Spencer tries to reach around Morgan to get his jacket.

"Not so fast, pretty boy. Just tell us what you've been doing." Morgan say, keeping the jacket from Spencer's reach. "Or who." He adds with a smirk, watching the heat rise in Spencer's cheeks.

"It's not like that." Spencer tells him after another failed attempt to get his jacket. Morgan's teasing is a small reason he wants to keep Ryder to himself.

"Oh, yeah? Then what is it like?" Asks Morgan, smiling at his younger team member.

"You know what? Keep it." Spencer shrugs, referring to his Jacket before turning and walking out of the office. He has to meet Ryder and he can't be late.

"Wait, Reid!" Emily calls after him, smiling as she watches Spencer enter the elevator. "What do you think that was about?" She asks Morgan, turning to look at him as he regards Spencer's jacket with squinted eyes.

"I'm not sure, but I'm gonna find out." He tells Emily, sharing a laugh with her, setting Reid's jacket on his desk.

And he was going to stand by those words. One way or another he was going to find out his friends secret.

* * *

"I'm so sorry I'm late." Is the first thing Spencer says when he sees Ryder. "You look amazing." He adds once he gets the chance to look at her properly.

Chuckling, Ryder moves away from the door, leaving Spencer to enter and close it behind him. "Don't worry about it, you're right on time. They're not even here yet."

"Good." Spencer mumbles, a sigh of relief escaping his lips as he looked at Ryder. She did look amazing - not that she doesn't always - in a short flowy, dark blue skirt, her legs covered by black leggings, her grey, V-neck top swooping down, showing the top of her chest.

"How was your day?" She asks while clicking on her last earing before coming to stand in front of him.

"Not bad. Got interrogated by Morgan." He informs her after a quick kiss, watching an amused smile come to her face. "He took my jacket."

"Aww, he's just curious." Ryder tells him as she straightens his tie. "You know, you can tell them about me." She states hesitantly.

"I know," He admits with a sigh as he looks at the ground. "Just not yet."

"Okay," Ryder nods, not voicing her thoughts on the matter any further. She was a little hurt that he didn't want to introduce her to his team but she also understood why he didn't. She wasn't going to push him on the matter, it would only cause more harm than good. "That must be them." Ryder says when I knock sounds at the door.

"Ah, don't you look beautiful." Natalie gushes with a smile when Ryder opens the door to reveal her and Steve.

"I could say the same about you but that's nothing new." Ryder grins at her friend. The model never looks anything but perfect. It must be exhausting, Ryder thinks.

"Oh, shut up, you always look great." Natalie lightly hits Ryder's shoulder before Ryder moves to let her friends enter.

"Hey, Steve." Ryder greets her friend with a short hug before turning back to Spencer, seeing him standing a little ways away, hands in his pockets as he shifts uncomfortably. "Natalie, Steve," Ryder starts as she walks to stand next to her boyfriend. "This is Spencer. Please play nice." She adds the last part as an afterthought, only half-joking.

"When have you known me to do anything but?" Steve asks as he approaches Spencer, sending Ryder a playful smirk.

"Oh, I can name a few occasions." She mumbles as Steve pats Spencer's shoulder.

"Oh, Spencer just so you know," Steve starts, looking the other man straight in the eye. "If you hurt her, no one will ever be able to find your body."

"Okay!" Ryder announces loudly, grabbing Spencer's hand. "That's enough of that. We'll be late. And I'm pretty sure it's against the law the threaten a federal agent."

"I wasn't threatening," Steve says defensively, taking Natalie's hand as they make their way to the door. "Just warning."

"Okay, well, either way, please don't do it." Ryder tells him with a smile, appreciating the thought. Steve and Ryder have known each other for years, he was like her second older brother, he was naturally protective of the younger girl.

From Ryder's apartment, the four of them walk to a restaurant nearby where they all sat down and talk, Ryder's friends getting to know Spencer, avoiding the topic of his work as Ryder had asked them too beforehand.

"He's cute, I like him." Natalie states as they walk together behind the two men down the sidewalk, watching them as they have a conversation about something.

"Yeah, he is cute, isn't he?" Ryder asks with a laugh without taking her eyes off Spencer.

"Oh man, you are in deep." Her friend tells her, drawing Ryder's confused eyes to her.

"What?"

"Oh come on, you make it so obvious." Says Natalie, not helping Ryder's confusion. "You're in love." She finally whisper shouts.

"What!" Ryder squeaks, momentarily drawing the two men's attention. "What?" She repeats, keeping her voice barely above a whisper.

"Well, it's not a bad thing." Natalie assures her friend, only slightly surprised by her reaction. "You guys are cute together and he obviously feels the same. He's barely been able to take his eyes off you all night."

"You're being ridiculous." Ryder dismisses, her eyes on Spencer as he walks ahead of her.

"Oh, I'm the one being ridiculous?" Natalie asks her friend with a smile, throwing her arm around the short girl's shoulders. "You're in denial, Ry."

Rolling her eyes at her friend, Ryder wraps her arm around her waist as they continue their walk, no particular destination in mind. "Thanks for coming out tonight, I appreciate it."

"Of course, I've been dying to meet your man."

"I'm just surprised Steve finally asked you out."

"Yeah, I thought he'd never do it. He said something about someone giving him some really good advice." Nat says with a smirk towards Ryder.

"Good advice, huh? Wonder who that could've been."

"Yeah, I wonder." Laughing, the two girls continue until they catch up with Spencer and Steve, pulling away from each other to stand next to their boyfriends. "Well, Steve, why don't we go on? Leave these two love birds by themselves."

"Great idea, Nat." He tells the beautiful girl hanging off his arm, smiling down at her before turning to his friends. "We will see you guys later."

"Thanks for coming out tonight, Steve."

"Anything for you, Ry." Steve tells the young woman he's come to know as a sister in the past years, giving her a quick hug and Spencer a fist bump.

"Bye guys." Waving their friends away, Spencer and Ryder turn their attention back to each other once the others are gone.

"Did you two just fist bump?" Ryder asks her boyfriend, wondering if she had seen what happened right.

"I think so." Spencer furrows his brows, sounding equally as confused.

"So you guys get along okay?" Ryder inquiries as the two start walking together.

"Yeah." Spencer says shortly. He had gotten along with Steve, he liked the guy but he was still his awkward self. Though Steve didn't seem to mind, willing to make small talk about anything. And he was someone who meant a lot to Ryder so Spencer would do whatever he could to get along with him.

"Yeah? That's all I get? What did you guys talk about?" Ryder asks, worried two of the most important people in her life weren't getting along.

"Different things, small talk mostly. I really did like him." Spencer assures her, knowing him meeting her friends meant a lot to her. "What about you? What were you guys talking about back there?" He asks, wondering what had gotten such a reaction out of Ryder previously.

"Oh, you know, just girl talk." Ryder deflects with a shrug. There's no way she was going to tell Spencer what Natalie had said. "I'm glad you could come out tonight."

"I almost couldn't getaway." Spencer says as he remembers Morgan and Emily trapping him back at the office.

"Yeah," Ryder chuckles. "It only cost you a jacket."

"It was worth is." Spencer tells her, placing a kiss to the top of her head as they continue to walk.

"You staying at my place tonight?"

"Um, uh yeah." Answers Spencer, causing Ryder to stop and look up at him with furrowed brows.

"Spence?" She prompts, a little worry seeping into her voice.

"I mean it's not that I don't want to, but I always stay at your place, I was just thinking..." He trails off, the worry leaving Ryder's face, replaced with a smile.

"Spencer Reid, are you inviting me to stay at your place?" She asks him, looking up at him with a smirk on her lips.

"Maybe I am." He responds, the previous nerves he had now gone as he looks down at Ryder's smile.

"Well, I think I would like that very much."

"Good." Spencer says, taking hold of Ryder's hand, leading them both back to her apartment upon request so she could gather a few things for her stay at Spencer's apartment.

"I expected nothing less." Ryder mutters upon entering Spencer's apartment, the cozy apartment smelling unsurprisingly of books and something else Ryder couldn't place, but she likes it. It made her feel at home as soon as she stepped inside. Large bookshelves line most of the walls, piles of books sitting around the living room, the dark hardwood floor going well with the dark-colored walls, giving the place a cozy, relaxing vibe.

"You didn't tell me you lived in a library." Ryder jokes with Spencer as she runs her hand across the spines of the books. She wasn't sure why she hadn't been here sooner but now that she was, she wasn't sure she wanted to leave.

"Funny." Spencer says with a sarcastic laugh, coming to join her after setting their things down.

"Do I get the grand tour?" Asks Ryder as she wraps her arms around Spencer's neck.

Giving a small laugh, Spencer leads Ryder around his apartment before they end up on the couch, watching tv. Ryder had talked Spencer into watching Friends, one of her favorite tv shows and he enjoyed every second of it. Watching Ryder smile and laugh more than he was watching the show itself.

And there they stayed on the couch until Ryder falls asleep on Spencer's shoulder. Smiling down at the girl, Spencer carefully lifts her petite body and carries her to his bedroom where he places her on his bed and covers her with his sheets before joining her, falling into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

 **Well, the team is onto Reid, they're suspicious of him but they still don't know. Maybe they'll find out soon. Also, Steve and Spencer met! They talked and got to know each other a bit. It was important to me that Spencer was able to meet Ryder's closest friend and I thought a cute little double date was the perfect way to introduce them.**

 **Let me know what you guys think! Hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

* * *

'-'


	9. Words With Meaning

**And here's another one. I loved writing this chapter, it's one of my favorites and I hope you guys enjoy too. This one's a bit longer as well.**

 **Again, thanks for the reviews! I love reading them, they're the reason I continue to write this story.**

 **Hope you guys enjoy this chapter and maybe let me know what you think in the reviews!**

 **Words: 4,733**

* * *

It's safe to say Ryder was worried when she saw the news of the random shootings taking place in New York, especially when she found out Spencer and his team were working the case.

She knew his job was dangerous but this felt more real, being able to see what was happening.

So when Ryder saw something about a car exploding on the news and she couldn't get a hold of Spencer, she went into a small panic. Her chewed off nails attesting to that.

"Calm down, Ry, I'm sure he's fine." Steve told his friend as he watched her pace back and forth in front of her couch, the news playing on mute in the background. He had tried to turn it off when he got there, knowing it wouldn't help her worry at all but she had refused to let him so he settled for just turning to volume down.

"You don't know that." She said as she continued pacing, chewing on her already chewed nails.

"If you keep that up you won't have any nails left." Steve informed her, having dealt with Ryder in a panic before. "Look," He said as he stood from his seat, gently grabbing her wrist to stop her pacing and pull her fingers from her mouth. "I understand you're worried, but this isn't going to help so please just sit down."

Looking up into her friend's eyes and seeing nothing but calmness helping Ryder slightly, but not enough as she turned her head to look at the tv. "And stop looking at that, it's only making things worse."

"What if he's not okay?" She asks Steve, letting his guide her to the couch and change the channel on tv.

"Ryder you can't think like that, Spencer is fine." He told his friend once again. Truth is Steve was a little worried too, he's not super close to Spencer but he likes the guy and he makes his friend happy.

"Then why isn't he answering his phone? Spencer always answers his phone." Ryder told Steve with wide eyes, glance at the tv even though it was playing some movie rather than the news.

"He's probably super busy, okay? He'll call you when he can, I'm sure of it."

Sitting there waiting was torture for Ryder but she knew Steve was right. Spencer would call her when he could and he was fine. Or at least that's what she continued to tell herself.

It wasn't until later that night as Steve was standing in Ryder's kitchen trying to decide if he should order some food-he knew with Ryder like this she wouldn't eat unless he made her-that a ringing sounded from the small device in her hands, making her jump before quickly answering it.

"Spencer?" She quickly asked, jumping to her feet as Steve walked back over to her.

"Yeah, it's me, I'm okay." Spencer told the worried girl. He would have called sooner if he could've but he wasn't able to until now.

"Damn you, Spencer Reid, you had me worried to death." Ryder said, her shoulders dropping with relief.

"I sorry." Spencer said lamely, not expecting that reaction from the tiny women on the other end of the phone.

"No, I'm sorry, are you sure you're okay? Is everyone else okay?" Ryder asked, feeling bad for yelling at him as she sat back down on the couch.

"For the most part." Spencer said, Hotch's injuries fresh in his mind. "We're leaving New York in the morning."

"Okay, good. You'll come see me?" She asked hopefully.

"First thing." Spencer told her, wanting nothing more than to see her.

"You're tired." Ryder stated, she could hear it in his voice.

"Long day, even longer night." Spencer told her, everything that's happened hitting him. He imagined everyone else was already sound asleep as he leaned against the wall outside the hotel the team was staying at.

"I'm sorry, babe. I should let you get some sleep." Ryder said to him, the little pet name slipping through her lips before she even processed it.

"Can you stay on the phone actually, I just..." Spencer trailed off, looking up to the sky, wishing he could be back home with Ryder instead of talking over the phone, but he'd take what he could get.

"Of course." Ryder said, turning to look at Steve as he put his jacket on. Ryder was okay now, and so was Spencer, his work was done, he'd leave them be. "Just give me two seconds."

Setting her phone on the couch, Ryder jumped up to hug Steve and tell him thank you for coming to be with her. "Anything for you, Ry." He told her before making his exit, leaving Ryder to rush back to the phone.

"Spence?"

"Still here."

"Sorry about that, I may or may not have called Steve in my panic and he came over to try and calm me down." She explained as she pulled her legs under her, covering herself with the blanket that was hanging over the back of the couch.

"Sorry I couldn't call sooner." Spencer said, feeling guilty that she had been worried.

"No, it's okay. As long as you're okay."

"Yeah, I'm okay. Better now." He said as the relaxed against the wall, closing his eyes, finding comfort in Ryder's voice. "Tell me about your day."

"My day?" Ryder asked with a small chuckle. Her day was nothing compared to SPencer's.

"Yeah, or anything, I want to hear your voice." Spencer confessed, bringing a small smile to Ryder's lips as she got more comfortable on the coach, prepared to talk to Spencer about whatever he wanted to.

And she did, she talked to him about random stuff. What she did that day or the day before, things she had coming up soon and everything until she eventually fell asleep, phone still held to her ear.

* * *

"What do you think your team will say?" Ryder asked one morning as she watched Spencer get ready for work.

"I don't know. Morgan will definitely say something." Spencer told her, running a hand through his now shortened hair. He got it cut the day before. He hadn't even told Ryder about it, choosing to surprise her instead.

And surprise he did, he had told her he was coming over and as soon as he walked through the door her eyes had gone wide and the only words that left her mouth were "Your hair!". He had been a little worried she wouldn't like it at first but all worry disappeared when a wide smile had broken out across her face and she approached him to run her hands through it.

"They'll love it." She told him with a confident smile. "It makes you look very handsome."

"It doesn't really matter, as long as you like it." Spencer said with a smile as he came to stand in front of her from where she sat on her bed.

"I love it." She told Spencer as she stood to kiss him. "You think you'll be able to get away this weekend?"

"It's your birthday, I wouldn't miss it for the world." Spencer told her not for the first time. He knew she was worried he would miss it as she'd asked him similar questions throughout the week.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." She told him, knowing he was probably annoyed with how many times she's asked. Ryder didn't do a lot for her birthday, she'd never had a party or celebrated growing up until she was adopted and even then she'd never had a big party.

Her first birthday after being adopted was just dinner with her mother and brother. She hadn't expected anything at all, having spent her whole life without doing anything for her birthday so when Eleanor had asked what she wanted to do she was surprised and didn't know what to say so she just decided to help Eleanor cook her favorite meal and they spent the rest of the night watching tv together. As a family. And that was the greatest birthday gift she could have asked for.

And since then, after discovering the diner she had taken Reid to, they went there every year for dinner. So that's what she planned again this year, going with Spencer and Steve. Last year it had been Steve and her brother. She was sad Tommy couldn't be there this year, he'd always done everything he could to be there for her as he knew how much her birthday meant to her.

But he couldn't be there this year and as much as that saddened her she understood. He was a soldier, he was protecting people and for that, she didn't think she had the right to be upset with him. He'd been gone before but never for this long. She really missed him but she didn't let herself think about it too much or she'd start crying and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to stop.

"And remember, no gifts." Ryder reminded him as she'd done before. Sure Ryder liked gifts and the thought of them but she never liked receiving gifts if she wasn't also giving them.

"Too late." Spencer told her as they both made there way down the hallway towards the front door.

"What!?" Ryder said, picking up her pace to catch up to him. "Spencer, I said no gifts."

"Yeah well, I don't know how you expecting me to not get you anything. Don't worry, you'll love it." He told her as he finished the last sip of his coffee. Ryder had bought a coffee maker after Spencer had started staying over and it wasn't for nothing as it was used quite often.

"What is it?" She asks, a tiny pout on her lips as she looked over at Spencer.

"It's a surprise." He told her with a smile, coming to stand in front of her, rubbing his hands up her arms.

"Fine." Ryder said with a sigh, looking off to the side.

"Are you mad at me?" Spencer asked the shorter girl with a smile.

"No." Ryder admitted, kicking the floor before looking up to meet Spencer's eyes. "I could never be mad at you."

"Good." Spencer said before kissing her.

"You better go, you're gonna be late." Ryder says before kissing him again, wishing he could stay.

"I don't think I'll be able to if you keep doing that." Spencer told her before kissing her again, loving the feel of her lips on his as she ran her hands through his hair.

"That's the plan." Said Ryder right before the ringing of Spencer's phone sounded throughout her apartment causing her to groan and pull away from him, allowing him to answer it.

"Yeah? Okay, be right there." He said to the person on the other side of the phone.

"It's okay." Ryder said with a stronger pout, pulling and pushing Reid with the hold she had on the front of his shirt.

"I'm sorry." Spencer told her sadly.

"It's okay." She repeats, smiling up at him. "Be safe, have a good day."

"I will." Spencer tells her before giving her another kiss, walking to the door with Ryder trailing behind him. "Bye." Spencer says with one last kiss.

"Bye." Ryder tells him, a funny, odd feeling in her heart as she watches him go, closing the door once the disappeared down the stairs. "Oh boy." She mumbled to herself as she leaned her back against the door, a good idea to what that feeling was.

* * *

His last case dragged closer to the weekend than Spencer would have liked, but he was able to finish with his paperwork with enough time to go home and change before he had to be at Ryder's apartment if he were to leave early. Now all he had to do was get the okay from Hotch.

"Come in." Aaron Hotchner's voice called from the other side of his closed office door.

"Uh, sorry to bother you, sir." Reid said as he slowly made his way into his bosses office, suddenly nervous. Almost like a child asking their parent if they could go out with friends.

"Spit it out, Reid." Hotch told his youngest agent, seeing his trouble to form words.

"Um, I need to leave early. Today is Ryder's birthday and it means a lot to her and I wanted to be ther-." Spencer rambled before being cut off by his boss.

"Reid," Looking up at his boss, Spencer wrings his hands as he waits for his answer. "It's fine, you can go."

"Thank you, Hotch." Spencer tells his boss with a sigh of relief. There's no way he could've missed Ryder's birthday. He was going to mention this to Hotch at the beginning of the week but they got called away on a case and he just hadn't had the chance until now.

"Tell her I said happy birthday." Hotch said before Spencer left his office. He was happy for Reid, he could clearly see he loved this girl and how good she was for him. He didn't blame him for not telling the team either, he understood. He's also heard the teasing from the other team members, even directed their attention away from the topic on occasion.

And of course he would let him leave early, Hotch knew first hand what this job takes from you, it took his wife from him, he wouldn't let the same happen to Reid if he could do anything about it.

"I will, thank you, again." Reid said before making his exit, passing his other team member on his way back to his desk to collect his stuff.

"And where are you going in such a hurry?" Emily asked as she watched Reid getting ready to leave.

"Nowhere." Spencer quickly said, hoping she would drop it but knowing she wouldn't

"Well, it's obviously somewhere." Morgan said as he sat back in his seat, watching Reid in amusement.

"I just have somewhere to be." He told his team, ready to leave and get away from their questions. He knew they meant well but sometimes he wished they would mind their own business.

"Oh yeah? Where's that?" Emily asked as he finally got his stuff together.

"Somewhere." Was all Spencer offered them before quickly making his way to the elevator.

"Somewhere?" Emily repeated to Morgan, the two sharing a suspicious glance towards Reid. "What the hell is he up to?"

"I have no idea." Morgan said with a laugh, tempted to snoop through Reid's desk in hopes of finding a clue.

"No," Emily said when she followed Morgan's gaze, immediately knowing what thoughts were going through his mind.

"Well, what do you expect me to do? The kid's not telling us anything." Morgan argued, not moving from his seat as he looked to her.

"C'mon Morgan, let him have a secret or two." Emily told him. She liked teasing Spencer but it was just for fun, if Spencer didn't want to tell them then he didn't have too.

"Last time I let him have a secret it wasn't a good thing." Morgan told her, suddenly serious causing her to see he was just worried about his friend. Morgan saw this team as family, Spencer like a little brother and he just wanted to watch out for him.

"Yeah," Emily said with a sigh, "But I don't think it is this time." She reminded him. "He's happy Morgan, let him have this one."

* * *

"Ryder?" Spencer called out as he entered her apartment with the key she had given him a few weeks back, closing the door behind him as Ryder called out.

"In here!" Walking towards her voice, Spencer passes the kitchen and living room as he enters the hallway, going halfway before turning to the double doors on his left, smiling at the sight of Ryder sitting on her stool, paint covering her close as she stares down the canvas.

"As cute as you look covered in paint, we're going to be late." He tells her, laughing when she looks at the time, stumbling out of her seat as she lets out a curse, rushing passed him, down the rest of the hall and into her room, stripping out of her paint-stained clothes on her way.

"I swear it wasn't this late five minutes ago." She says to Spencer as she shrugs on her pants and shirt she had picked out earlier that day, having already done her hair and makeup.

"You know how easily you lose track of time when you're painting." He reminds her with a fond smile, watching her twist the shirt in her hand with a confused face, seeming to have forgotten which side was the front.

"Yeah, yeah I know." She said, finally figuring out the shirt and throwing it over her head before walking to her full-length mirror to check her appearance.

"Hey." Spencer says as he wraps his arms around her waist from behind, this being the first time he's seen her since getting called away on his case a few days ago.

"Hey." Ryder says with a smile, turning in his arms to kiss him.

"Happy Birthday." He tells her, not for the first time that day but for the first time in person.

"Thank you." Ryder says cheerfully, giving him another kiss that made Spencer's knees go weak.

"As much as I want to stay here alone with you, we really are going to be late." Spencer tells her, reluctantly pulling away.

"You're right, Steve will never let it down if I show up late to my own birthday dinner." Ryder agrees, pulling Spencer with her down the hall and towards the door, grabbing her purse from the kitchen table before exiting.

Walking hand in hand towards the diner, Reid pulls his phone from his pocket but keeps it by his side so Ryder won't see and sends a quick text to Steve to let him know they were almost there before sliding it back into his pocket.

"It's about time." Steve says as his two friends approach him, Ryder pulling away from Spencer to give him a big hug.

"Hey, we are not late." Ryder defends as Steve sets of back on the ground, having had picked her up in the hug, her short frame making it hard not to.

"Sure," He says sarcastically before opening the door and letting her enter, sending Spencer a nod once he was sure she wouldn't see it. "Happy birthday, Ry."

"Aww you guys," Ryder says when she sees the flowers on their table and the balloons floating above the booth seats. "Thank you." She tells them sincerely, sliding into the booth after Spencer, Steve sitting across from them.

"There's the birthday girl." Ms. Linda says as she approaches the table, having helped the boys set everything up, this being the eighth birthday Ryder has spent here.

"Hey Ms. Linda." Ryder greets with a smile up at the women.

"Happy birthday, dear." She tells the young women she's had the pleasure of watching grow up with a smile and a hug. "I made sure we had your favorite pie, it's just come out of the oven, it'll be perfect when you're done with your meal."

"Thank you." Ryder tells her with a smile before they each ordered their food.

"Now, there's only one thing missing." Steve said, drawing Ryder's confused eyes towards him.

"What?" She asks him, narrowing her eyes in suspicion at the mischievous smile on his face.

"Well, your present of course." Spencer tells her, looking down at the confused girl with a smile before both him and Steve look over her shoulder towards the door, causing her to do the same.

Feeling her eyes go wide and mouth fall open, Ryder's hand goes over her heart as she blinks rapidly, not believing the sight before her.

"Tommy?" She asks, looking at her brother standing before her, dressed in his uniform and smiling down at her.

"Hey, punk." He says with a fond smile, using one of his many nicknames that always annoyed her.

But she didn't seem to care about the stupid name as she jumped from her seat and bolted towards him and into his open arms, wrapping her arms around his neck as he lifts her from the ground and spins her in a circle.

"Or should I say, Flash." He jokes as he holds his sister close, having missed her more than anything.

Finally setting her down, Tommy runs his hand over her hair, messing it up as he looks down at her. "Did you get shorter? I didn't think that was possible."

"Shut up, Tommy." Ryder says as she wipes the tears from her eyes, lunging forwards to wrap her arms around his waist in another hug. "How are you here?" She asks him once she pulls away, still wiping her eyes, glad she only wore minimum makeup.

Looking over his shoulder, Tommy nods towards Steve and Spencer, the two of them the reason this possible. Turning around Ryder runs back over to the boys, emotions swirling around as she all but jumps into Spencer's arms, giving him a giant hug, the words leaving her mouth before she could stop them.

"I love you!" Taking a moment to realize what she had said, Ryder loosens her hold from around Spencer's neck, her feet slowly hitting the floor as his own hold loosens as well.

"Hey, I helped too." Steve said after a moment of awkward silence, earning him a slap to the shoulder from Tommy.

Admitting she loved someone was not easy or something she took lightly. She'd never said those words until she met Eleanor and Tommy and even then it had taken a long time, but she meant it, she really did love Spencer. She had for a while now, she'd just been too scared to say it. What if he didn't say it back? What if he rejected her because he didn't feel the same way?

"I mean that," Ryder decided to say instead of playing it off. She did love Spencer and she just told him and her brother was home, she felt so happy right now like she could do anything.

Without wasting another second, Spencer bends down to capture Ryder's lips in a sensuous kiss. "I love you." He told her once he pulled away, huge smiles on both of there faces.

"As amazing as this moment is," Tommy interrupts after giving the couple a moment, "I'd like to officially meet the man that's sucking face with my little sister."

"Tommy!" Ryder shouts, turning away from Spencer to look at her brother with wide eyes.

"I apologize for nothing." He told her before turning to Spencer, offering him his hand which he easily accepted, to Ryder's surprise. "I'll give you the big bother talk later."

"Not necessary," Ryder said as she looked back and forth between the two as they locked eyes in some sort of standoff she assumed.

"Totaly necessary." Tommy tells his little sister, finally breaking eye contact with Spencer to look down at her.

"Tommy? Is that you?" Ms. Linda calls from behind them, a smile growing on her face when she sees the young man she's known his whole life.

"Hey, Ms. Linda," Tommy greats the older women, moving towards her to hug her.

"Oh my boy, how have you been? You look skinny." She told him as she looked him over, causing the other three to raise their brows. Tommy was many things but skinny wasn't one of them, he was basically a rock. Tommy had gotten into working out in highschool and Ryder didn't think he's stopped since.

But she could see where Ms. Linda was coming from, she was very grandmotherly, always looking after those she considered family, and Tommy may have had muscle, but in his slightly baggy uniform, you couldn't tell. He didn't look huge by any means, she supposed he did look on the skinny side of muscular.

"I've been good, just missing you guys." He tells the older lady with a glance towards his sister.

"You worry us, you know?" The older women tells him with a stern look.

"I know, I'm sorry." He tells her before she shoos them into there seats so they can eat their food.

"I can't believe you guys did this." Ryder says after they've finished their food, looking around at her friends and family.

"I told you you'd like your gift." Spencer told her, feeling nothing but joy in his heart for the beautiful girl he loved sitting next to him.

"I love you guys." She told them all, this being one of the greatest birthdays she's had in a long time. And even though her mother couldn't be there, she would never forget the women who saved her life, changing it forever.

"Aww, we love you too!" Steve said over dramatically, placing his hand over his heart, earning chuckles from everyone around the table.

After having dessert, the group made there way back to Ryder's apartment where they watched tv until late and Steve left and Tommy was so tired he almost fell asleep in the living room.

"Thank you so much for today, it was the best." Ryder tells Spencer as they get ready for bed, Tommy having retired to the guest room for the night.

"Well, I kind of lied about something." Spencer said as his back faced her, causing Ryder's heart to drop to her stomach, a thousand thought's going through her head of what he could've lied about. "I got you more than one gift."

Sighing in relief, Ryder looks up to Spencer, realizing what he was said. "I said no gifts, in what universe does that mean to get me two?" She asks as Spencer makes his way towards her.

"Seriously? Just let me have my moment? Please?" Spencer pouts as he sits in front of her, a small box being help behind his back.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Ryder tells him, actually excited to see what he had gotten her.

"Close your eyes." He tells her.

"What, why?"

"Come on, Ry, please?" He says, smiling despite himself at how difficult she was being.

"Okay, fine." She said, giving in and closing her eyes.

Smiling, Spencer pulls the box in front of him and opens it, pulling out the silver chain and dangling it in front of Ryder. "Okay, open."

Opening her eyes, Ryder blinks to help them adjust to the dim lighting, Spencer face being the first thing that comes into focus before seeing him holding his hand up, a silver chain hanging from his.

Following the chain down, Ryder feels tears fill her eyes as she looks down at the jewel. Her birthstone. The necklace an almost exact match to the one her mother had gotten her for her sixteenth birthday. She had cherished that necklace for so long, never even taking it off until one day she'd lost it. She had gone into hysterics trying to find it, going to her mother in tears to tell her she'd lost it.

Eleanor had comforted her daughter, telling her it was okay that it was just a necklace and that it wasn't what truly mattered.

"Oh, Spence." Ryder said as she reached out for the necklace, letting the small jewel rest in the palm of her hand, feeling Spencer's warm hand hold the side of her cheek as he wipes away a stray tear that fell from her eye.

"Do you want me to put it on you?" He asked, prompting Ryder to nod and turn, allowing Spencer to drape the necklace around her neck and lock it together as she held her hair out of his way.

"You don't know how much this means to me." Ryder told him with a teary smile.

"Anything for the women I love." He told her, pulling her into a kiss, wiping away her tears.

If he could stay there for the rest of his life he would. He loved Ryder and she loved him. He never believed in love at first sight or soulmates but in that very moment, he couldn't deny the fact that Ryder was everything to him and he couldn't imagine his life without her.

In that moment he would admit that she was his soulmate.

* * *

 **And there we have it. The team is still suspicious, Tommy came home, and the two love birds finally said I love you. I really enjoyed writing this chapter and hope you guys enjoyed reading it. I'd love to know what you guys thought.**

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	10. Nobody

**A shorter chapter but I decided to post. I've gotten quite a bit written passed this and I'm excited for where this story is going and hope you guys are too.**

 **Love the reviews! Thanks so much to everyone who follows this story, it means everything to me.**

 **Words: 1,823**

* * *

"That sounds dangerous." Ryder said through her phone as she walked out of her apartment to check her mail.

"Of course there's risk involved but it's a basic operation, we should be in and out." Spencer tells Ryder after stepping away from Emily, explaining his reason for canceling dinner.

"And it's in Colorado?" Ryder asked him as she approached her mailbox, pausing as another person was standing in front of them. She had thought the hunched man was collecting his mail even though his figure didn't seem familiar, but as she watched him for a moment, he just seemed to be standing there before moving on.

"Yeah, we'll hopefully be back soon." Spencer said as he glanced over his shoulder.

"You better be careful." She demanded after shrugging off the man's odd behavior, approaching her mailbox, and collecting her mail before turning back to her apartment.

Chuckling, Spencer shakes his head before responding. "I will, don't worry about me."

"You make it hard not too." She told him as she walked up her stairs, holding her phone with her shoulder as she sorted through her mail.

"Occupational hazard, I'm afraid." He said with a helpless chuckle.

"I know, it just sucks." Ryder says as she opens the door to her apartment, closing and locking it behind her.

"I'll be okay, promise," Spencer told her, trying to help her not worry.

"I'm going to hold you to that." Ryder said with a smile, leaning against the back of her couch.

"I'll try to call you when we get there, but I gotta go."

"Okay, please be safe. I love you." Ryder says, worry settling in the pit of her stomach despite Spencer's reassurance that he would be fine.

"Love you." Spencer repeated before hanging up the phone, turning around only to jump back as he came face to face with Emily.

"Sorry." The older women said with a small laugh.

"I-it's okay." Spencer says, his heart racing from the small scare. How long had she been standing there?

"Who was that?" Asks Emily as she points to Spencer's phone.

"Uh, nobody." Spencer said before walking passed Emily, hating having to lie to her.

"Uh-huh." Emily mumbles to herself as she watches Spencer walk away, wondering to herself if he always told "nobody" that he loved them.

* * *

After barking off orders and prepairing to fly to Colorado, Hotch takes a minute to lock himself in his office and pull out his phone, dailing the number in mind and letting it ring.

"Hello?" A feminine, if not slightly worried voice responds after a few rings.

"Ryder?" Hotch asks, making sure it was her before he continued.

"Agent Hotchner?" She asks as she recognized his voice. "What's wrong?"

"Have you seen the news?" He asked the young women, already knowing she had.

"Please tell me that's not Spencer in there." She says with dread in her voice, already knowing that it was. She knew the moment she saw it on the news.

"I'm sorry but it is. I don't want you to worry, my team and I are on it, we'll get him out of there safe." He assures the girl, hoping he was right. Spencer had given Hotch Ryder's number not long after he found out about the girl, he had told him it was in case anything ever happened to him, and as much as he hated that thought, he knew it was a risk of the job.

So he was calling her now because he knew she would've seen the news and no doubt would've guessed it was Spencer and gone out of her mind with worry, especially if the things Spencer had mentioned to him about her was anything to go by. He was surprised sometimes, that Spencer was able to keep her a secret from the team for so long, he obviously loved to talk about her, the affection shining in his eyes as he did.

Taking a deep breath to try and control her emotions, Ryder nods before realizing he couldn't see her. "Okay, please jus-" Cutting herself off as she felt her voice quiver, Ryder takes another deep breath before continuing. "Please bring him home safe."

"I will." Hotch told her before ending the call, taking a moment for himself before going out to meet with his team, prepaired to do whatever it took to get both of his team members home safe.

* * *

"Hey." Emily greets as she sits across from Spencer on the jet.

"Hey." He mumbled back, not able to meet his team members eyes.

"Hey," She says again, reaching forward to gently pull the book from his hands. "I need you to listen to me. What Cyrus did to me is not your fault. It was my decision, and I would do it again. Do you hear me?"

Overcome with guilt, Spencer finds it hard to meet Emily's eyes as he gives her the smallest of nods as she rubs his hands with her.

"Thank you." Smiling at his team member, Spencer turns back to his book for a moment before looking back up as he feels Emily's eyes burning a hole through his skull. "That phone call earlier?" She asks him, meaning both the one before they left and the one she'd heard him having before they boarded the plane.

"It was n-" Spencer goes to lie before Emily cuts him off.

"Nobody?" She wasn't an idiot, she'd figured it out at this point. She was a profiler, after all, the phone calls only confirming it for her. Spencer had a significant other and he was keeping them from the team.

She understood why to a certain degree. He wanted something separate and untouched by his work. She could understand that. And with the relentless teasing from Morgan, she couldn't blame him. But she wasn't going to push him on the matter, not too much anyway.

"You could've told us." She informed him, smile on her face as she watched the moment Spencer completely realized she knew.

"Please don't tell the others." He asked her in a whisper as soon as he was able to speak again. He couldn't believe he'd been so sloppy, letting Emily and who knows who else here his phone calls.

"It's okay Spencer, we won't judge." She tells him, wanting to know more about the person who seemed to have stolen the young doctor's heart.

"It's not-it's not about that." Spencer sighs as he let his book fall closed.

"Then what is it about?" Emily asked, not pushing completely gone from her mind.

"I just- It's' different when I'm with her." Spencer admits as he looks to the window, once again not able to meet Emily's eyes. "It's like I can turn everything off and not think about all the awful things we see every day."

"And you think if you bring her into this part of your life it won't be like that anymore?" Emily guesses, earning a nod from her friend. He knew it was selfish but for the first time in his life, Spencer wanted something for himself, and that was Ryder.

"Oh, Reid," Emily says, looking to her friend with something akin to sadness in her eyes. "You love this girl, don't you?"

Nodding his head, Spencer finally turns to look at his friend, wondering where she was going with this. "Then it won't matter."

Furrowing his brows, Spencer looks down at his hands as he thinks over Emily's words.

"It doesn't matter if we know or not, this girl and this team are apart of your life. At this point, mixing the two won't matter." Emily tells her friend. She felt a pang of sadness shoot through her heart when Spencer told her why he'd been keeping this girl a secret. He just wanted to escape from the horrors the team deals with and she was how he did it, and he was afraid that if she came to close to this part of his life that it wouldn't be the same.

And deep down Spencer knew that wasn't true, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. "Thanks, Emily." He tells his friend, seriously thinking over her words. Maybe it was time he told the team. It would definitely make things easier.

He had a lot to think about before he got home.

* * *

"You promised." Ryder said as she wrapped her arms around Spencer's neck, telling herself that she would never let go.

"I know, I'm sorry." Spencer said, his voice muffled as he buries his face in the crook of her neck, his arms holding her close.

"No, I'm just glad you're okay. I was so worried." Ryder says before pulling back, looking Spencer over. "Are you okay?" She asks. He had called her on the phone the moment he could and assured her he was fine, but she had to see for herself that he really was.

"I'm okay, really." He said as he grabbed her wrist and held her hand in place on his cheek where she had placed it while looking him over, turning his head to place a kiss to her wrist. "I'm okay."

"You better be." She told him, meaning to sound stern but failing as she fell into his arms, letting him guide her into her apartment.

"Emily knows." Spencer said as the couple sat comfortably on the couch, watching tv, enjoying the feeling of being close to each other again.

"About me?" Ryder asks, looking up at Spencer as his eyes stay on the tv.

"Yeah, she figured it out." She couldn't help it, but Ryder felt a smile pulling at her lips.

"I thought agents were supposed to be good at keeping secrets." She teases, earning her an eye-roll and smile as Spencer finally looks down to meet her eyes.

"I think maybe," Spencer says, hesitating as he looks over Ryder's face. "I think maybe it's time you meet my team."

"Oh my gosh, really!?" Ryder asks, her eyes going wide with excitement. "Seriously!?" She squeaks out, sitting and grabbing Spencer's arm.

"Seriously," Spencer says with a laugh, thinking he would've told them sooner if he knew this is the reaction he would've gotten.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh." Ryder repeats before taking a deep breath to calm herself down. "No, I calm, I am fine." She says before a thought hit her, causing her to drop back down into her seat, the smile gone from her face. "What if they don't like me?"

"What? Don't be ridiculous, they'll love you." Spencer told her as he shifted to face her better. "You wanna know how I know?" Nodding her head, Ryder takes Spencer's hand as she looks up at him. "Because I love you."

"Don't be cheesy." She tells him before letting a smile take over her face, excepting Spencer's kiss.

"It's settled then, we'll tell them."

* * *

 **Emily knows and Spencer is finally ready to tell the team! Lets just hope he doesn't get cold feet ;). More chapters to come soon.**

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	11. It's a Curse

**I struggled with the dicision to post this chapter or not. I was worried you guys wouldn't like how I've done it but I decided to post it because it's how I want it to go for the future of this story, so with that said, I hope you really enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think, it would really help me. Especially if you guys let me know what you want to see more of in this story.**

 **Anyway, thanks for putting up with me.**

 **Also not sure if it's even necessary but I thought I should put a warning that there's blood metioned in this chapter.**

 **Words: 2,086**

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Spencer struggled with how he was going to approach the subject of Ryder with his team. He wanted her there when he told them, wherever there was. It was a rare moment for Spencer, not knowing how to do something.

He was thankful to Emily as well for not saying anything to the team, but he didn't miss the looks she gave him whenever he left to take a phone call or rushed out of work some nights.

He even considered asking Emily for advice at one point but decided against it and the problem soon got pushed to the back burner as a case came up and he had to give all his attention to it.

And little did he know that when they returned from their case that the perfect opportunity would present itself.

"Team dinner, my house, tomorrow night." Rossi announced to the room, not even voicing it as a question as he wouldn't take no for an answer. The team tries to get together to have a calm dinner on occasion, usually hosted at Rossi's.

The team goes out a lot, usually for drinks and or food but half the time the whole team can't come and being at a crowded bar or someplace else with lots of people isn't the same as a quiet sit down that the team can relax and enjoy each other's company outside of work. It was the perfect opportunity.

"Um-" Was all Spencer was able to get out before being interrupted by Morgan.

"No, not this time, kid, you are not canceling." He said sternly as he pointed at him.

"No, actually I was just wondering if..." Spencer trailed off, glancing first at Hotch then at Emily, the latter giving him a small nod of encouragement as she figured out what he was trying to say. "I was wondering if I could bring someone." He finally got out, hating the feel of everyone's eyes on him.

"Uh, of course," Rossi said as he shared a look with the others. "The more the merrier."

Nodding his head, Spencer continues collecting his things before making his exit, not wanting to stick around for the questions he was sure the others had, briefly catching Emily's eye as she sent him a smile.

It was almost like a weight off his shoulders but it was replaced by a pit in his stomach that he guessed would be there until dinner the next night came.

* * *

"Ryder?" Spencer said as he stepped into the apartment, setting his stuff on the table, turning around when he didn't get a response, the sight of a barstool knocked over catching his eye. "Ryder?"

Walking closer, Spencer felt his heart drop and his hand go to his gun at the sight of blood, a decent-sized pile on the floor, a trail leading down the hall.

Keeping his gun holstered but his hand near it, Spencer follows the trail down the hall until he came upon the cracked bathroom door, slowly pushing it open to reveal Ryder sitting atop the closed toilet with her bloodied wrist in her lap.

"Ryder?" Spencer says for the third time, finally catching her attention as he rushing to his girlfriend. "What the hell happened." He asks as he takes the towel from her, lifting it slightly to see a gash down her small wrist.

"I'm an idiot, that's what happened." She told him, trying to laugh it off but he could hear the pain shinning through her voice.

"Shit, this need stitches," Spencer said as he put pressure on the wound, trying to ignore the way the towel was becoming soaked.

"Is it really that bad?" Ryder asks, looking down at the wound, happy that she wasn't affected by the sight of blood.

"Yeah, come on, I'm taking you to the hospital." Spencer said, not leaving room for argument as he helped her to her feet and led her out of the bathroom. "Where are your keys?"

"In my purse, on the table." Ryder told him as she held her wrist to her chest as Spencer grabbed them before returning to her and leading her outside and to her car where he then drove them to the hospital.

"This is a pretty nasty gash." The nurse said as she started stitching up Ryder's arm, having numbed it and stopped the bleeding. "Mind if I ask how you got it?"

"I wasn't paying attention," Ryder reluctantly admitted, watching the nurse work. "Broke a glass, tried to clean it up, somehow ended up with this. Probably would've bled out on the bathroom floor if Spencer hadn't come home."

"Ah, been there, I've always been clumsy." The nurse says as she continues her work.

"It's a curse." Ryder mumbles, turning her attention to Reid as he stands by her side, holding her uninjured hand in his own.

"You scared me half to death." He told her, squeezing her hand.

"What can I say, it was my turn." Ryder joked.

"And we're all done." The nurse said, half of her cheeriness faked as she's been on her shift for many hours. "Just keep the wounded area clean and dry, change the bandages daily."

"Thank you." Ryder tells the lady politely, standing from the bed and walking with Spencer to sign some papers before finally leaving the hospital. Ryder didn't like hospitals and didn't want to be in there any longer than she had to be.

"I'm canceling dinner tomorrow." Spencer says once their both seated in Ryder's car.

"What?" She asks, having no idea what her boyfriend was talking about.

"The team's having dinner at Rossi's tomorrow and I told them I was bringing someone. But I'm going to cancel." Spencer explained as he navigated through the streets.

"What? No, I'm fine." Ryder said, not wanting to miss out on this opportunity to finally meet Spencer's team. "Really Spence, it's not that bad. I'm okay."

Quickly glancing over at her and seeing the hopeful look in her eyes, Spencer realized he couldn't tell her no. "Okay, if you're feeling okay we'll go."

"Yes!" Ryder said as she sat straight in her seat, suddenly feeling tired, a yawn escaping her.

"Let's just get you home."

"Good idea." Ryder mumbled, leaning to rest her hand against the cars cool window.

The next thing she knew, Ryder was being shaken awake by a hand on her shoulder. "Five more minutes." She mumbled, drawing a small laugh from Spencer.

"You can't sleep in the car, Ry." Spencer told her. He hadn't wanted to wake her but Spencer knew he wouldn't have been able to get her out of the car and up to the apartment without doing so anyway.

Grumbling, Ryder opened her eyes with a yawn and allowed Spencer to unhook her seatbelt before he went around to car to help her out of it. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, let's just get you upstairs so you can sleep." Spencer said as the two made their way inside and up to Ryder's apartment.

Letting Spencer lock the apartment door, Ryder walks passed the kitchen and living room, down the hall and into her bedroom, sitting on the bed to remove her pants so she wouldn't fall over.

After fighting off the tight fabric, Ryder stands before walking over to retrieve her sleeping shorts and slipping them on before removing her slightly bloodied shirt. She'd probably just throw it out, she didn't like that one much anyway.

"You feel okay?" Spencer asks the younger women as he wraps his arms around her from behind, his hand skimming over the uneven ridges in her skin, reminding him of the first time he'd seen them.

It had been a night a lot like her birthday. Spencer had come over, the couple having plans to go out, and found Ryder in her studio lost in her head. He had watched her for a moment before reminding her of the time, causing her to rush to her bedroom, shedding her shirt as she went.

He hadn't meant to watch her but his eyes had landed on her back and he found himself walking closer to her as his eye caught sight of the marks on her smooth skin. He had asked her about them carefully, not wanting to make her uncomfortable, but he'd already seen them and there was no way he could've ignored them.

She had acted like she didn't mind, but Spencer could tell by the shift in her body language that she was uncomfortable about it and he had apologized for asking but she just shook her head and reminded him of the time she'd spent in foster care before being adopted. She didn't give any details, she had just said, "I'm sure you know better than anyone that not all people are good people." And left it at that.

"I'm okay, just tired." Ryder said, pulling Spencer from his thoughts and back to the present time. "My whole arm is numb."

"The feeling will be back by morning." Spencer told her as he gently lifted her injured arm in his own. "I walked in and saw the blood, I didn't know what to think." He told her as he pulled her into his arms.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to worry you." Ryder said as she wrapped her arms around Spencer, being careful with her injured wrist. "But now you know how I feel every time you walk out that door." She told him, pulling away to look up at him, only half-joking.

"Yeah," Spencer mumbled against her lips before kissing her. "Come on, you need sleep."

Nodding her head, Ryder pulls away, grabbing a random T-shirt she assumes was Reids and throws it on before climbing into bed.

"Goodnight," She says to Spencer, her voice muffled by the pillow she was burying her face in.

"Goodnight, love." Spencer whispers with a smile, leaning over to place a kiss on Ryder's cheek.

* * *

Ryder has been nervous before, many time actualy, she's had trouble with anxiety in the passed. It's safe to say this was one of those times.

"What should I wear? Do we need to bring anything? Are you sure they'll like me?" She asked Spencer as she looked through her many clothes, Spencer watching her in amusement from his seat in her desk chair he had rolled over.

She had asked him these question already and he had assured her that it didn't matter and of course they would love her. She would calm down for a few minutes before jumping back up, her nerves preventing her from sitting still.

"Don't look at me like that," She told him with a pout when she turned to see his face. "I just want tonight to go perfect."

"I know, me too." He told her as he stood. The truth was Spencer was also nervous, he knew the team would like Ryder, it's impossible not too, but the was still scared about how the night would go.

"Okay, it's fine," Ryder said, to herself or to him Spencer wasn't sure, but he guessed it was a mixture of both. "Should I go casual casual, or dressy casual?" She asked him as she battled to get her emotions under control.

"Whatever you decide will be perfect." Spencer told her as he crossed his arms, leaning against the doorframe.

"That's no help," She told him before turning back to her clothes, trying to decide over pants or a skirt.

After much debate with herself, Ryder finally decided on some grey jeans with a pastel pink sweater that hung loosely on her thin frame, deciding to wear her black hightops. The only jewelry being some earrings and the necklace Spencer had gotten her for her birthday. Her hair styled into loose curls.

"You look beautiful." Spencer told her as he took hold of her hand.

"And you look very handsome." She said as they walked out of her apartment. "We're not going to be late, are we?"

"We'll be fine." Spencer said as they loaded into her car, Spencer choosing to drive as Ryder's never been to Rossi's before.

"Okay." Was all Ryder said as she looked out the window, wringing her hands in her lap.

Reaching over with the hand, not on the steering wheel, Spencer grabs both of her hands in his, drawing her attention to his face.

"We'll be fine." Spencer told her one last time, and she truly believed him.

* * *

 **We're getting closer to the team finding out! Hope you guys are enjoying this so far and let me know what you think in the reviews.**

 **I also started another Criminal Minds story for a reason that is beyond me, but if you wanna check it out please do. It's called Some Secrets Better Told. If you do decide to read it, please ignore the horrible summary.**

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	12. Finally

**Well, here it is guys. I thought about writing more for this chapter but decided to just post it by itself, it seemed better that way.**

 **It's safe to say that I'm nervous about this one, I really want you guys to like it.**

 **So please let me know what you think! I really really hope you guys like it!**

 **Words: 2,607**

* * *

"Who do you think it is?" Garcia asks her fellow female agents as she sips on her glass of wine.

"Reid's got a girlfriend," Emily says quietly in a sing-song voice that was slightly muffled from her own glass of wine.

"What!?" Garcia shouts, careful not to spill her drink and turns her wide eyes towards Emily. "Our doctor Spencer Reid?"

"Yeah." Emily confirms. Of course, she wouldn't have said anything if she knew Spencer wasn't bringing her with him tonight, and she figured everyone else had already figured it out. They were profilers, after all.

"How long has this been a thing?" Garcia demands to know while looking between her two friends.

"Quite a while." JJ answers, sticking with water as she was pregnant.

"Did everyone know except me?" Penelope huffs, annoyed no one had brought her into the loop.

"No one knew for sure," Emily explains in their defense. "We just knew he had been acting strange."

"Then how did you know?" Garcia raises her brows in suspicion and Emily shrugs.

"He's not very quiet when he's on the phone."

"Wait," The colorful blonde suddenly says, drawing the other twos attention. "What if she's evil?" She whispers, as if afraid the subject of the conversation could hear her.

"What?" The other two women ask at the same time, sharing a look before turning their attention back to Penelope.

"I mean, we don't know anything about her. What is he kept her from us for a reason?" Garcia questions, more to herself than the others as she looks down, a thousand thoughts running through her mind.

"Don't be ridiculous, Garcia." Emily tells her friend with a laugh.

"I'm just worried about our resident genius." She holds up her hands. She's happy for Reid, over the moon for him, but she doesn't even know this mysterious girls name. Penelope spends her days looking into people and finding out their darkest secrets and all the nasty things about them, could she really be blamed for worrying about this girl?

"Don't worry Penelope, Spencer seems really happy." JJ assures her friend. Although she wasn't a profiler, JJ had also noticed a change in her friend. She wasn't sure what it was at first but over time her suspicions grew, having experience keeping a relationship from the team a secret herself. But she's happy for Spencer, he's her friend and he deserves to be happy.

"If you guys say so." Penelope says with a sigh, relaxing in her seat slightly.

"What are you ladies talking about in here?" Morgan asks as he walks into the room, Rossi following behind him. Hotch, Reid, and his mystery guest are the only ones yet to arrive, and Will who wasn't able to be there.

"Just girl talk." Emily informs the men as they enter the room.

"Is that so?" Morgan ask questions with a raised brow.

"Is that them!?" Penelope jumps form her seat when she sees headlights approaching the house.

"Or Hotch." JJ suggests as the others peek out the window.

"Nope, not his car." Morgan informs, drawing a high pitched noise from Garcia that the others took to be excitement. "Calm down, baby girl."

"Calm down? How do you expect me to calm down?" Exchanging a look with Morgan, Rossi excuses himself to answer the door - It is his house, after all - leaving the others to get Penelope under control.

Opening the door, Rossi smiles at the two people standing on the other side. One his friend and colleague, the other a young women he doesn't know. They seem to have been talking to each other before he opened the door, causing them to stop and turn their attention onto him.

"Rossi," Spencer greets, a little more stiffly than normal, David notes. "Um," The younger man continues after he collecting his thoughts. "This is Ryder, my girlfriend." He introduces.

"It's nice to meet you," The young women says with a smile towards the older man. "Finally." She adds as an afterthought.

"And a pleasure to meet you, my dear." Rossi says with a smile and a head nod towards the young women. He'd only known her barely a minute but from what he can tell, he likes her. She's obviously anxious, her body tense with nerves but she's doing her best to hide it.

"Come on inside, meet the others." Moving to the side, David allows the young couple entry, smiling as he watches Spencer take the young woman's hand in his own.

"Is everyone here?" Spencer asks the senior agent as they enter his large house.

"Aaron is running late." David responds and he closes the door, going ahead to lead them to the others. "Everyone," He says to gain their attention, Spencer and Ryder stopping behind him. Ryder's hold on Spencer's arm is tight. She isn't normally this nervous to meet new people, she meets new people quite often actually. But she sees this differently. This is Spencer's team, his friends, and his family. If they don't like her, she doesn't know what she'll do.

Being the beautiful and bright person she was, Garcia is the first one to go up to the couple, a huge smile on her face, any earlier worry gone once her eyes landed on Ryder. "Oh my, look at you. I'm Penelope Garcia. I'm sorry, can I hug you?"

Sparing a look up at Spencer to see him smiling down at her, Ryder detaches herself from his arm and nods to Garcia, the older woman's arms immediately going around her. Returning the hug, Ryder smiles as she feels some of her anxiety leave her body. Penelope just has that effect on people.

"It's great to finally meet you." Ryder says with a glance around the room at everyone.

"As much as we would like to say the same, we didn't know you existed. Derek Morgan." The older man introduces with a look thrown towards Spencer. He holds out his hand for Ryder to shake, smiling at her when she tentatively accepts it.

Derek hadn't known what to think of Spencer's odd behavior at first but as time went on he suspected it had something to do with a girl. And he may or may not have snooped. Well, not so much as snooping he would say. He had been passing Spencer's desk the day before their last case as he came back from the breakroom and Spencer hadn't been there but his phone had, along with a notification from someone named Ryder, a heart next to her name.

"Emily Prentiss." The dark-haired woman nods, deciding not to approach the younger woman. Her shoulders are tense, the nerves all but rolling off of her. Space will be good for her.

"Jennifer Jareau, but you can just call me JJ." The blonde introduces herself as well, following in Emily's actions to give Ryder space.

"Um, Ryder," She says once she realizes Rossi was the only one who knew her name. "Ryder Mathews."

"Sorry, I'm late." A new voice sounds behind everyone, turning they're attention to see Hotch entering the room.

"Agent Hotchner, nice to see you again." Ryder greets the older man, earning the two raised brows and odd looks from the others.

"Please, call me Aaron." He tells the girl with a rare smile.

"Wait, you knew about this?" Morgan asks, pointing to Ryder as Emily mouthed "Aaron?" to JJ, earning her a shoulder shrug from her blonde friend. "Of course you did." He mumbles when Hotch just gives him a look.

"I hope everyone is hungry, dinner is ready." Rossi announces to the room.

Grabbing each others hands, Spencer and Ryder move with the others to the dining room before finding a seat, Ryder mentally preparing for the questions she has no doubt she'll have to answer once they start eating.

"So, Ryder," Penelope is the first to speak, ready to find out what she could about this girl that hadn't strayed more than five feet from Spencer the entire night. "You ever been married?"

Not expecting that question at all, Spencer is surprised enough by it that he almost chokes on his drink. "Um, no, never been married." Ryder responds once she's sure Spencer can breath properly.

Pleased with that answer, Penelope opens her mouth to ask something else but paused in her actions when she sees the look Derek is giving her. She takes a moment and accepts that she may have gone a little too far, especially for first questions, and backs off, deciding to ask a much simpler one. "What do you do for work?" It's a much less intrusive question compared to the other ones she had in mind. You can't blame her, she's just looking out for her family in the best way she knows how.

Ryder hadn't taken offense from the blondes earlier question, she understands Penelope is just looking out for her friend. "I'm a photographer."

"Oh that's exciting, what do you take pictures of?" The blonde continues, earning smiles and smirks from the others around the table.

"People, mostly. I do scenery shots sometimes." She informs the women, happy to answer her questions.

"Wait," Morgan interrupts. "Does this mean you know a bunch of models?" He asks, drawing laughs and eye-rolls from the others.

"Yes," Ryder nods and chuckles herself. "I know quite a few. Some of them are even single." She adds with a wink in his direction.

"Please, don't egg him on." Emily tells Ryder. Derek's ego does not need anymore inflating.

"It was an innocent question." Morgan shoots back, earning a snort from Emily but she decides against saying anything more about it.

"What about your family?" Garcia asks, causing Ryder to pause. The feeling of Spencer's hand on her thigh brings her attention back to the table as he looks down at her, the motion not going unnoticed by the team.

"Um, I have a brother, he's in the army." Ryder says after a moment, deciding she didn't want to get into her family history. Or lack thereof.

The team, even the none profilers, could see it was a touchy subject, especially since the girl only mentioned a brother. So, they decide it's best to steer clear of asking any more questions on the subject.

"What happened there?" JJ motions to the bandage around Ryder's wrist, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Oh, that," Ryder looks down at her arm, lifting it slightly. "I was born with a curse, most call it clumsiness."

"Been there, girlfriend," Emily huffs with a sympathetic nod.

"Scared me to death." Spencer mumbles to himself and Ryder, but the whole table hear him. They all can't help but smile at the interaction. The love and admiration in his eyes shining brightly.

"Wasn't my finest moment," Ryder admits with a chuckle.

"Do you travel at all for work?" Rossi asks after a moment, bringing the conversation back from where it had strayed.

"I do," Ryder answers easily. "I haven't in a little while, I've had lots of projects going on here. As much as I love to travel, it's good to just be home for a while." Everyone nods to this with agreement. Having to travel so much for work, they all understand the need to be home.

Taking turns, the team continued asking small questions to try and get to know Ryder more while doing their best to stay away from deeper topics. Especially after the question about her family hadn't gone over so well. By the time they moved on to dessert, Ryder had forgotten about her anxiety and nervousness and was laughing along with the others as they told stories. Mostly embarrassing stories about Reid, much to his chagrin.

"I just remembered," Penelope pipes up. "We forgot the most important question. How did you two meet?" The question succeeds in drawing everyone's attention back to the couple.

"Well," Ryder starts with a fond look towards Spencer. "That comes back to my clumsiness. I spilled my drink on him one morning."

"I remember that!" Emily shouts, Ryder's words bringing a memory to the front of her mind. "You were late to work that day, you are never late."

"That was months ago." Morgan points out, also remembering that day. Spencer had rushed in late with a poor excuse and a wet jacket. "How long has this been going on exactly?"

"Um," Spencer starts, sheepish as he looks down and catches Ryder's eye. "A few months shy of a year." He informs the team, his one-year anniversary with Ryder quickly approaching as October nears.

"Damn." Morgan mutters, impressed Spencer had kept her a secret for so long even if he had noticed his strange behavior.

"So," Garcia motions for them to continues impatiently. "What happened after!?"

"Um, well I felt bad and offered to buy him a drink to make up for it." Ryder's smile grows when she thinks back to the day that had changed her life for the better.

"Who gave who their phone number?" Emily questions, also interested in the story.

"I gave him mine," Ryder squeezes Spencer's hand, looking up to meet his eyes. "I had been reading one of my favorite books that day and Spencer asked about it and when I learned he hadn't read it yet, I insisted he take it."

"Wait," Morgan holds a hand up with a shake of his head. "There's such a thing as a book pretty boy hasn't read?" He teases, earning a sarcastic laugh from Spencer.

"That is a beautiful necklace, by the way." JJ observes, admiring the elegant piece of jewelry hanging from Ryder's neck.

"Thank you," Ryder's hand goes up to gently touch the necklace. "It was a birthday present from Spence."

"Wow Reid, I never would have guessed you had good taste in jewelry." Emily says as she also looks at the jewelry, impressed with her younger team member.

"Yeah, he did good." Ryder agrees, her full attention on her boyfriend. Moving back into the lounge area, the team and Ryder continued talking about whatever until it gets late and Ryder can no longer hold in her yawns.

"I think it's time we head out." Spencer says after seeing Ryder's third yawn that she tries to hide behind her hand.

"Yeah, it is getting late." Emily looks down at her watch.

"You're telling me." JJ says as she struggles to stand slightly, her ever-growing belly making the simple task difficult.

"It was really great meeting you all." Ryder tells them while she and Spencer both get to their feet.

"You too, little lady." Morgan gives her a short girl a side hug. "Keep this one in check, yeah?" He jokes with a nod towards Reid.

"I will try my best." Ryder says with a laugh at the way Spencer rolls his eyes. "Goodnight everyone."

"Told you they'd love you." Spencer says to her as they walked out to Ryder's car, his arm around her shoulder's holding her close.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was worried about." She releases a breath and settles into her seat, happy with the way the night turned out. She can clearly see how close this team is, they're a family. And they like her. Being apart of something like that means so much to Ryder. After growing up so long without a family, then finding one only to lose half of it a few years later...it makes her happier than she thought possible that Spencer's own family accept her as one of their own.

* * *

 **Well there it is, I really hoped you guys liked it but I'm nervous that you didn't. Please let me know what you think.**

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	13. Some Things Lost, Some Things Found

**So sorry for the long wait on the update, just been busy I guess. I decided to post all this together and make it a slightly longer chapter to help make up for that, I'll hopefully have another one up soon as I've already written most of it.**

 **Really hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think. Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, they mean a lot.**

 **Words: 4,506**

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"Hello?" Ryder groggy voice said through the phone as she answered it, not even bothering to open her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I woke you," Spencer whispered, knowing it was a lot later at home than in Nevada but Morgan had all but dialed the phone for him, knowing Spencer needed to talk to her.

"No, it's fine. Is everything okay?" Ryder asked as she sat up in bed, more awake after hearing the odd tone in Spencer's voice.

"Um," Spencer hesitated before opening his mouth again to say everything was okay but Ryder beat him to it.

"Don't lie to me, Spence." She whispered, knowing that was exactly what he was about to do.

"Bad dream," He mumbled as he looked up at the stars.

"I'm glad you called me," Ryder told him as she leaned against her pillows, getting in a more comfortable position. "Do you want to tell me about it?"

Spencer shook his head before realizing Ryder couldn't see him and spoke again. "No, I just needed to hear your voice."

"I'm here," She said, knowing this case was most likely getting to him because his work was the only topic he tried to steer clear of when he talked to her, only giving her the few details he had to. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I know," Spencer mumbled.

"You don't have to, just know that I will listen whenever you need me too. And I don't know what's happening but I have no doubt that you can figure it out and save whoever needs saving."

Feeling a small smile pull at his lips, Spencer nods his head and lets out a breath. "Thank you, I needed to hear that," He told her, feeling better already from just talking to her.

"I'll always be here, Spence," Ryder assured him and Spencer could feel his heart flutter at her words. "I love you."

"I love you," Spencer repeated, wishing he could be back home with her and wrap her in his arms. "I'm okay, I'll let you get back to sleep."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," Spencer says with another nod. "Goodnight, Ryder, I love you."

"I love you too, Spence." Ryder says before the couple hang up their phones.

Sighing with one last look up at the sky, Spencer walked back into the Bridges' house.

"You okay?" Morgan asked his friend from where he sat in one of the chairs next to the couch.

"Yeah," Spencer nodded as he retook his place on the couch, closing his eyes before falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"It's only for a few more days, I promise."

"Are you sure you're okay, Spence?" Ryder asked her boyfriend, concerned by his phone call.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna stay a few days with my mom, you know I haven't seen her in a long time." Spencer said, guilt building in his gut as he lied to her.

"I understand if there's something you don't want to tell me, Spencer, but please don't lie to me." She could hear it in his voice, she always could when he was lying to her. She got it, she did, and she didn't think she had to right to make him tell her everything but she hated when he thought he couldn't.

"Those dreams I've been having lately," Spencer started, unable to keep up the lie. "It just, they brought up some old memories. I'm okay, I just need to figure a few things out."

"Okay, take all the time you need." Ryder nodded, crossing her free arm over her chest. "I can even come down there if you want."

"I couldn't ask you to do that. I'm okay, promise." He quickly told her. He'd be lying if he said having her by his side would make this easier but at the same time it'd be harder, he thought. It was easier all around if she stayed home.

"Just call me, okay? And if you change your mind, I'm here."

"Have I told you how much I love you lately?" Spencer asked with a smile, her words meaning everything to him.

"Maybe," Ryder said slowly, her lips pulling up into a smile. "But there's no limit on how many times you can say it."

"Well, I love you and I will call you, don't worry."

"You make it hard not to." She told him. Ryder was always worried for him, every time he walked out the door, especially when he went off on a case. "I love you."

"I got to go, but I'll call you soon, I love you."

"Love you too."

* * *

The next few days were dificult for Spencer, with seeing his father again, accusing him of crimes he didn't commit and secrets of the past coming to light. He'd called Ryder like he promised until he got so caught up in the case he forgot until Morgan suggested it to him, knowing the young women would be able to talk some sence into Reid.

He tried his best to open up to her but it was still hard for him, to which she understood, doing her best with what she was given. In the end, everything worked out for the most part, leaving Spencer, Morgan, and Rossi to fly home with the news that JJ had gone into labor.

Ryder had met them when they landed, immediately wrapping her arms around Spencer in a hug before they went to the hospital together to see JJ and her new son. He was one of the cutest babies Ryder had ever seen and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face, especial when JJ had asked if she wanted to hold him.

After saying there goodbyes, Ryder and Spencer - the latter gaining the title of godfather - went home. Spencer was exhausted and almost fell asleep on the way home, collapsing on Ryder's bed as soon as they arrived.

It was still early so Ryder made them dinner in case he woke up, passing the time by showering while the food was in the oven. Stepping out, Ryder wrapped a towel around herself as she heard footsteps in the hall, alerting her to the fact Spencer had woken up, leaving her to quickly dress in a T-shirt and sleep shorts before joining him in the kitchen.

"Good evening," She greeted him with a smile, her arms going around his waist from behind, her chin resting on his back. "You feeling okay?"

"Better now," Spencer answered, turning in her arms to face her, bending down to place a soft kiss on her lips. "Something smells good."

"That would my famous lasagna." She told him before furrowing her brows. "Or my shampoo."

"I think it's the food," Spencer said with a small laugh. "Although your shampoo does smell nice too."

"It does, doesn't it?" Ryder mumbled as she stood on her tiptoes to give Spencer a kiss, the couple being pulled apart by the beep of the timer. "Hope you're hungry."

"Starving," Spencer responded as he moved to help her with the food, making them both drinks before they sat down to eat. "My mom want's to meet you."

"Really?" Ryder asked with a smile. "You told her about me?"

"Of course I did," He nodded, smiling back at her. "She was apprehensive about it at first but after I told her how great you were, she seemed excited."

"Well, I would love to meet her." Spencer had told Ryder all about his mother, about her schizophrenia and everything. "Whenever you're ready."

"Yeah," Spencer nodded, giving Ryder's hand a gentle squeeze before turning back to his food.

"I was talking to Emily earlier," Ryder started as the couple got ready for bed, having finished their food and cleaned up. "She said I should come to the teams next night out."

"Oh yeah?" Spencer asked, crawling over the bed to sit behind her, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Sounds good."

"You think so?" She asked with a smile, turning her head to catch Spencer's eyes.

"Know so," He answered with a quick kiss before he moved to his side of the bed.

Smiling to herself, Ryder turns and climbs under the covers and slide over to Spencer, resting her head on his chest before falling into a peacefull sleep.

* * *

"What?" Ryder questioned her brother, noticing his stare. "Is there something on my face? If there is you better tell me."

"No, there's nothing on your face." He chuckled. "You just seem happy."

"I am," Ryder nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason," Tommy shook his head, happy that his sister was doing well. He had been worried when he shipped out again, he was always worried about his baby sister and always would be but she was doing well for herself and he was happy for her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Tommy, but why are you saying that?" She asked, worry bubbling up in her gut. "Is something wrong?"

"No," He scoffed. "Can't I just let my sister know I care about her without an ulterior motive?"

"No, of course, you can, I'm sorry, I just worry." She told him with a laugh, her hands cold from her loose grip on the cup of water in front of her.

"Yeah, I feel like mom somehow passed that down onto us despite the fact that we weren't actually related." Tommy chuckled, thinking back to how protective their mother was.

"She probably did," Ryder agreed with her own laugh. "I miss this."

"Yeah, me too." Her brother agreed. "But I'm home now, should be for a little while, so hopefully we can stop missing this."

"I love you, big brother." She told him with a smile. "You ready for tomorrow?"

"I'm never ready for that day." Tommy said, the smiles gone from both the siblings' faces now. "But we'll be okay."

"I'm just glad you're here." Ryder sighed, dreading the next day. The anniversary of their mother's death. It wasn't easier for either of them but Ryder always imagined it was harder for Tommy, Eleanor had raised him since he was a baby, she was the only mother he ever knew. It was the same with Ryder, the older women was the only true parent she had ever had but she didn't know her nearly as long as Tommy and she felt selfish thinking it was any harder for her than it was for him.

"I wouldn't miss it." Tommy informed as silence fell between the two only for a moment. "Talk about a shift in mood."

Chuckling, Ryder shakes her head as she tries to get rid of the negative thoughts. "You coming for dinner tonight?"

"Definitely. Is Spencer around?"

"No, he's away on a case." Once again Ryder had to remind herself that Spencer was away saving people, she had to understand that but she wanted him there so badly right now, he always made things easier to deal with. But at least Tommy was there and Steve would always be there for her so she wasn't alone.

"I can stay over if you want." He offers and Ryder nods, not wanting to be alone.

"Yeah, okay."

"Alright, enough of this, let's go for a walk." Tommy put on a smile, standing and offering his hand to Ryder, pulling her from her seat before the two made their leave.

* * *

"How long have you been up?"

"I don't know, a while." Ryder shrugged at her bothers question, her eyes watch her cellphone as she twirls it between her fingers.

"Do me a favor, sis," Tommy said, catching Ryder's eyes when she finally looked up at him. "Call him."

"No, I'm sure he's busy." She shook her head, her eyes going back down to her phone.

"And I'm sure he won't mind," Tommy whispered while leaning over the back of the couch. "Call him, or I will."

"Okay, fine." Ryder gave in, pushing her brother away before turning back to her phone, dialing Spencer's number.

"Hey," Her boyfriend's voice greeted through the phone after a few rings, Spencer having excused himself from the team to take her call.

"I'm sorry, if you're busy you can go." Ryder told him, not wanting to be a bother despite all the times he had told her she wasn't and never would be.

"No, no, it's fine. Is something wrong?" Spencer asked, worry seeping into his voice.

"I-I just needed to hear your voice." She whispered to him, turning to look into the kitchen, her brother nowhere in sight.

"Ry, is everything okay?" Spencer pushed, sensing something off with her behavior.

Sighing, Ryder using the hand not holding the phone to her ear to play with the blanket thrown over her lap. "Today is the anniversary of my mother's death." She forced the words out, closing her eyes as she did. "And I know it's been years but it's never any easier, you know? I mean she was the first person to ever treat me like I was family and I just miss her so much."

"Of course it's not any easier, she was your mother. Damn it, I should be there." Spencer added more to himself than to Ryder, beating himself up over the fact that he wasn't there for her.

"No, it's okay, you're working and Tommy is here. I just knew talking to you would make me feel better."

"We should be done soon, I'll be back as soon as I can, promise." Spencer said with a glance towards his team, wishing he could be back home with her instead of where he was.

"Thanks, Spence. I'll be okay, don't rush. I love you."

"Call me if you need anything, okay? Whenever." Spencer caught Morgan's eye, the older man waving him over when he did. "I got to go, I love you."

"Love you, see you soon." Ryder said before hanging up the phone, letting out a sigh before she stood from the couch, returning to her room to get dressed for the day.

"You ready to go?" Tommy asked his sister once she emerged from her room a few minutes later.

"Yeah," She mumbled with a nod, tightening her coat as they walked to the front door and out of her apartment.

Driving them to a local flower shop, the siblings pick up a bouquet of peonies, their mother's favorite flower, before driving the rest of the way to the cemetery. The weather didn't seem fitting for the day, Ryder thought, the sun was shining bright and there wasn't a cloud in sight. The cold weather seemed to be the only right thing.

"I was such a bitch to her when we first met." Ryder stated as she looked down at the tombstone in front of her, feeling her brother's presence from where he stood beside her.

"You weren't that bad and she understood." Tommy assured her, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as the wind blew on them.

"I was horrible, to you and her." The younger woman shook her head, watching the flower peddles shift in the breeze.

"She never held anything against you, you know that. She loved you." Tommy tore his eyes away from his mother's grave and let them rest on his sister, seeing her head hanging low. "C'mon, you know how mom was with this stuff, she hated it when we were sad."

"Yeah, she did, didn't she?" Ryder said with a small laugh. "I remember once I had had a bad day at school, I locked myself in my room, refused to come out, she showed up outside my door with so much junk food. We ate until we were sick."

"She was good like that." Tommy nodded, remembering all the times his mother cheered him up, especially after his father died. He couldn't remember ever seeing her sad even though he knew she was, she hid it in order to comfort him. She always put her them before herself.

"I just wish we had more time with her," Ryder mumbled, leaning into her brother's side when he put an arm over her shoulders.

"Me too," He agreed with a nod, his eyes glued to his mothers name carved into the tomb stone. "Me too."

* * *

"Everything okay? You've been acting weird since you took that phone call." Derek asked his friend as he took the seat across from him on the jet.

"Yeah, just...ready to get home." Spencer answer, the book in his head going unread as his eyes stared out the window.

"Is she okay?" Morgan took an educated guess on what was bothering the young man.

"Ryder?" Reid asked, earning a small nod from Derek. "I think so." He said, unsure of his answer. "She called me, I knew something was wrong. You know? She sounded upset. Apparently, today is the anniversary of her mother's death."

"Oh, man," Morgan sighed, leaning back in his seat. "That's tough."

"Yeah, I just wanted to be there for her but I couldn't," Spencer said, bitterness in his words. He loved his job but hated it when it got in the way of him helping the ones he loved.

"Don't do that man, there's nothing you could've done, but you can go to her and be there for her now." Derek told him, hating the thought of Spencer beating himself up over something he couldn't prevent.

"I guess you're right," Reid admitted, closing the book and setting it in his lap. "Doesn't make me feel any better."

"Yeah," Morgan sighed once again, shaking his head. "Not much will."

"She told me the other day that Emily invited her to the next time the team went out." Spencer changed the subject, knowing there was nothing else he could do until they landed.

"Great idea, we all want to get to know her better." Morgan agreed, wanting to better know the young woman who stole his best friend's heart. "I think we earned that much, you keeping her from us for almost a year." He joked.

"Yeah," Spencer smiled. "It'll have been a year last month." A whole year together and he still got nervous around her like they'd just met and he only loved her more and more each day.

"Congratulations," Derek told his friend with a smile, happy for him. It wasn't common to find what he had and even less to keep it, especially with this job. "I'm ready to be an uncle whenever, by the way."

Uh-" Spencer stuttered, blinking as he processed Derek's words. He had thought about kids with Ryder, of course, he had and he wants them one day but hearing the words from someone else just makes it even more real. "I, uh-"

"Relax Reid, I was only joking." Morgan chuckled, amused by the shocked look on Spencer's face. "Partly." He added with another quiet laugh.

* * *

Once the jet landed, Spencer wasted no time in rushing out of the office and to Ryder's apartment, using his key to let himself in, his eyes immediately scanning the room, seeing Tommy sat on the couch, the younger man holding a finger to his lips before point to the part of the couch Spencer couldn't see.

"She tried waiting up, but..." Tommy trailed off once Spencer was close enough to hear his quieted voice, looking down at his sleeping sister on the couch next to him.

"She didn't tell me." Reid said as he crouched down in front of Ryder, lightly pushing some of her dark hair from her face.

"I'm not surprised. Ry's never been one to talk about stuff like that." Tommy said, knowing how much his sister didn't like talking about her past. "You can take it from here?"

"Yeah, thank you." Spencer nodded to Tommy as he slowly stood from the couch, returning to the guest room where he was staying for the night. "Hey, love." He greeted his girlfriend with a smile when he noticed her eyes blinking open.

"Spence?" She mumbled sleepily, her voice groggy as she rubbed her eyes.

"It's me. Let's get you to bed." Helping her up, Spencer guides Ryder down the hall and to her room where she wraps her arms around him in a tight embrace. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here."

"It's okay, you didn't know." She assured him, pulling away from the hug to kiss him. "You're here now, that's what matters."

"You want to get some sleep?"

"Yes, please," Ryder answered, taking Spencer's hand and pulling him over to the bed, climbing in and giving him the chance to change before he joined her, wrapping her in his arms. "I love you."

"I love you," Spencer repeated, placing a kiss on her head.

* * *

"Anyone up for drinks?" Emily asked the team as everyone prepaired to head out for the night.

"Sounds good," Agent Todd agreed as she came down from her office.

"Count me in. Reid, is Ryder busy?" Morgan asked his friend, remembering the conversation they had on the jet a few days before.

"Shouldn't be," He responded, pulling out his phone to check in on her.

"Who?" Todd asked, the name unfamiliar to her.

"Spencer's girlfriend," Morgan said in a teasing voice, laughing when he saw Spencer roll his eyes and shake his head. Of course, Derek had teased him relentlessly sense he'd met Ryder so he was mostly used to it by now, deciding it was just best to ignore him when he did.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend." The stand-in agent said in surprise, turning her attention to Reid as he looked at his phone, a pink tint rising in his cheeks with the new attention.

"Yeah, for a year now, was it?" Emily asked rhetorically, tilting her head to the side as she also looked to Spencer. "But we've only known for a few months."

"Yeah, he kept her from us." Morgan continued with narrowed eyes, not missing Todd's confused face as she looked between her fellow agents.

"I can't imagine why," Todd said sarcastically with chuckled.

"Can't imagine why what?" David asked while joining the group, only catching the tail end of their conversation.

"Talking about Ryder," Emily informed the older man, collecting the last of her things as she did.

"Oh," Rossi hummed in understanding. "Yeah, who knew Reid was so sneaky."

"Seriously?" Spencer whispered to himself, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "She's free but I'm second-guessing my decision to go now."

"No, Reid, we're just playing." Emily told her friend, patting him on the shoulder.

"Yeah, c'mon, let's go out, I promise to keep the teasing to a minimum." Morgan offered, raising his hands in slight surrender.

"I'm gonna go pick her up, I'll meet you guys there." Spencer said before rushing from the office and heading to Ryder's apartment where the young women was getting ready to go out.

"Spence, I told you you didn't have to come." She told him when he entered her home, grabbing her coat from the back of the couch.

"I know, I wanted to." He answered, wrapping his arms around her, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Was Derek teasing again?" Ryder asked suspiciously, raising her eyebrows at her boyfriend.

"Maybe a little." He shrugged.

"It's because he loves you." Ryder sighed, moving away from Spencer to grab her purse. "We'll be late."

Shaking his head, Spencer followed Ryder out of the apartment and the couple drove to a bar and grill the team often frequented, going in to find the team.

"There they are," Morgan said with a big smile when he saw them approaching, moving to throw his arm around Ryder's shoulder in a greeting hug. "How've you been, little lady?"

"Good, I'm good." Ryder answered, moving to hug Emily and Garcia. "And you guys?"

"Oh, you know," Emily shrugged, smiling at the younger women. "We're glad you could join us."

"Me too, thanks for the invite." Ryder responded as her eyes fell on an unfamiliar face.

"Jordon Todd," The agent introduced herself, holding out her hand for Ryder to shake. "I'm the agent filling in for JJ."

"Right," Ryder said in realization, remembering Spencer had mentioned her. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

"Drinks," Penelope shouted out, turning her attention to the newcomer. "What's your poison, sweetie?"

"I'm not really much of a drinker." Ryder admitted, never having acquired a taste for the stuff as she saw what it did to the people she grew up around.

"That makes two of you," Morgon nodded towards Spencer, the younger man not having much of a taste for alcohol either.

The rest of the night was filling with verious conversations and laughs, leaving the young couple stumbling out at a late hour to get back home, smiles on both their faces.

* * *

As it neared Christmas, Ryder became busy with her work. It was a hectic time of the year, she didn't just photograph models, she did family pictures as well, and as everyone got ready to get their holiday cards out, she was busy with back to back apointments.

She was excited for this years Christmas, Tommy was home and it would be her first one with Spencer, she couldn't wait despite her dislike for gift shopping. She hated it because she sucked at it, she never knew what to get anyone, especially Spencer.

But she tried not to stress about it, the thoughts easily leaving her mind as she got buried in work. Like now, the young women was rushing from her apartment to meet up with a small family for baby's first Christmas pictures, holding her phone to her ear with her shoulder.

"It's perfectly fine, Spence, I'm super busy anyway." She told her boyfriend with a chuckle. "Just call me when you can."

"Okay, I will, I'm sorry again." Spencer apologized, the team about to leave for the jet, having just been called away on a case.

"Stop apologizing, Spence, it's okay, we probably wouldn't have been able to see each other much anyway, just go catch the bad guys, I'll see you when you get back, okay?"

"I love you," Spencer sighed, feeling bad for having to be away over the holidays.

"Have a safe flight Spence, I love you too." Ryder said her goodbyes, struggling to hang up her phone and slip it into her pocket without dropping anything in her hands. "Oh, I'm sorry," She apologized to a man when she bumped his shoulder.

"Are you Ryder Mathews?" The middle-aged man asked, causing Ryder to stop in her tracks and look up at him, his face unfamiliar to her.

"Yes?" She stated, the single word coming out as a question as she squinted her eyes at him. "Do I know you?"

"No, you wouldn't," He said, wringing his hands as his nerves got the better of him. "But I know you." His words only confused her more, her heart beating faster as she regards the man with suspicious eyes.

"I'm your father."

* * *

 **Whaaaaat? That happened. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and keep an eye out for I'll try to have the next one up soon, don't want to leave you guys hanging for long.**

* * *

'-'


	14. Dilemma

**Well here we go. I wasn't sure how I liked the way this chapter plays out but I'm going to go ahead and post it anyway with the hopes I won't want to change it in the future.**

 **This is a bit longer of a chapter and I hope you guys like it. I'm writing the next chapter now but I'm not sure when I'll post it. Maybe tomorrow or later this week. I really need a scedule.**

 **Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, I'm glad you guys are still enjoying this story, it means a lot.**

 **Words: 5,820**

* * *

 _"I'm your father."_

"I-...what?" Ryder breathed out, her heart dropping as her mind filled with confusion. "No." She denied, shaking her head.

"You look so much like your mother," The man across from her said, acting as if he hadn't heard her words. "I know this is a lot, but if you were willing, I would love to sit down and talk, over lunch maybe."

"I don't-" Ryder continued to shake her head, having a hard time believing this man. "I can't-." She once again cut herself off as she couldn't find the words. What the hell was she supposed to say? Some stranger claiming to be the father she'd never met, a man she held anger towards for giving her up when she was only a baby. Of course, she never knew the reasons behind it, her real parents could've been dead for all she knew but if he was telling the truth then he obviously wasn't.

"I-I have to go," The young woman finally forced out, missing the drop in her supposed father's face as her own emotions started to consume her.

"Wait," He called out and for some reason, she did. She paused in her steps and turned back to him. "I know you probably hate me and I understand if you do. But I've been looking for you for almost a year now and I just want to get to know my daughter. I'm sorry for everything. Please give me a chance."

He was sincere, Ryder could see that much, but she was still skeptical. "How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Your name is Ryder Faith Mathews, you were born July sixth, you weighed six pounds and eight ounces, and you were sixteen inches long. You have a birthmark on your left shoulder blade." He listed the things he knew about his daughter, some of the things even she didn't know. He wasn't sure why he told her the unnecessary details, maybe it was to prove to either himself or her that he was her father and he did care.

Hearing his words made Ryder falter. She didn't know those things about when she was born but he knew her middle name, her birthday, and about her birthmark. How else would he know unless he truly was her father?

"Why are you here?" She asked him, trying to keep her voice emotionless as she shifted on her feet.

"I've lived with the guilt of giving you up for twenty-four years and I just couldn't anymore. It's a long story and I'd be happy to tell you all about it." The man became hopeful as he looked over at his daughter, seeing the eternal debate she was having with herself.

"I-I can't," She started and his heart dropped until she continued speaking. "I'm working right now."

"Another time then?" He asked, stepping forwards slightly, pausing when Ryder shifted away from him.

"I need time," She told him, looking up into his hazel-green eyes. "To think."

"Of course, take all the time you need." He nodded, understanding her position. "I can give you my number, you can contact me whenever you're ready."

"Um," Ryder mumbled, looking around herself as if all the answers and explanations she needed would appear out of thin air. But they wouldn't, she could only get them from the man standing in front of her. With that in mind, Ryder knew what she had to do. "Okay."

"Great." He sighed in relief. "My name is Roy, Roy Parker." He introduced himself when he realized he hadn't, a smile on his face as he gave Ryder his number.

After departing from him, Ryder drove to her appointment in a daze, her mind whirling with everything that had just happened. If this man really was her father, and why wouldn't he be? What could he get from pretending to be him? She had a lot to think about. She would be lying if she said she wasn't angry at him and wanted to shut him out despite not even knowing him, but she needed answers, answers she had her entire life, ones she never thought she would get the answers to.

* * *

"You wanna run that by me again?" Tommy asked his sister, not expecting the words that just came from her.

"He said he was my father, Tommy." She repeated, sighing as she paced her living room floor, wringing her hands together. "What should I do? I mean he knew things about me only he would know so it has to be him but I just...I don't understand."

"Hey, it's okay," Tommy quickly moved to hug his sister, seeing the tears build up in her eyes. "I can't tell you what to do, Ry, but I can be here for you in whatever decision you make."

"Thanks, Tommy," Ryder said as she wiped her eyes, sniffing as she moved to sit on the couch.

"Have you told Spencer or Steve?" Tommy asked his sister as he sat next to her, resting a comforting hand on her back.

"No, Steve's away for work and Spencer's on a case, I don't want to bother them." She shook her head, covering her face with her hands as she spoke.

"And I know for a fact that neither of them would mind. They'd probably be mad if you didn't call actually." He added and Ryder nodding, knowing he was right.

"That does sound like them." She chuckled slightly, pulling out her phone to send Spencer a quick text, decided to tell Stevie when he got home. "Let's order pizza and watch cheesy Christmas movies."

"Sounds good." Tommy chuckled, knowing his little sister was trying to take her mind off the days events.

* * *

"Hey kid, you okay?" Mogan asked Reid, noting the younger mans brows furrowing as he look down at his phone.

"Uh, I don't know." He mumbled, rereading the text he had received.

"What's up?" Moving to sit next to him, Derek looked over Spencer's shoulder to read the same messages he was looking at, the text reading 'I need to talk to you, call me when you can please.' "That doesn't sound good."

"Yeah, excuse me." Spencer said before standing from his seat, leaving the police conference room they were set up in, passing Emily as he went.

"Uh, is he okay?" She asked Morgan, pointing over her shoulder to where Spencer disappeared to.

"Trouble in paradise?" Derek guessed, shrugging his shoulders.

Finding a quiet corner to hide in, Spencer quickly calls Ryder, a million different thoughts running through his mind as the phone rings, once, twice, three times until he hears a click followed by Ryder's voice.

"You're not busy are you?"

"No, I stepped away, is everything okay?" Spencer asked with worry.

"Uh, sort of, it's nothing that can't wait, I just wanted to talk to you as soon as I could."

"I'm not busy, I promise, we just wrapped up the case, we'll be home tomorrow." Reid informed her, tucking his free hand under his arm to prevent himself from fidgeting. "Now please tell me what's wrong."

"Um, so the other day I was leaving for a job, I had just hung up with you actually and I met this man..." She trailed off, unsure of how to proceed. She thought it would be better to wait until Spencer got home to talk to him about this but she couldn't wait, this had been weighing on her and she felt like she was being crushed.

"Ryder?" Spencer prompted after a moment of silence.

"He claimed to be my father." Ryder told him, continuing before Spencer had the chance to say anything. "He told me things only he would know and I believe him. We didn't talk long but he gave me his number to contact him when I was ready to talk but Spencer I don't know if I'll ever be ready and I don't know what to do I just want you here." She rambled, her emotions once again getting the better of her as she started to tear up.

"Okay, okay," Spencer tried to soothe her, keeping his voice calm for her sake as his own thoughts ran through his at this new information. "I'm going to see if we can fly out tonight, it's only two hours, okay? I'll be home as soon as I can."

"It's okay if you can't. Tommy's here and I've been talking to him about it, but I really just want to talk to you. In person. I just had to tell you."

"I'll be home soon, okay? I love you." Spencer said, closing his eyes his a sigh, wishing that when he opened them he would be home, with Ryder.

"I love you." She mumbled before hanging up, the click sound alerting Spencer of that fact.

Slipping his phone into his pocket, Spencer took a few more seconds before he reentered the conference room he'd previously left, the whole team had gathered while he spoke with Ryder.

"Hey, everything okay?" Emily was the first to notice him, asking out of curiosity from the way Spencer left and the distant look in his face. She feared the worst, it was an occupational hazard the whole team had.

"Uh, yeah. Would you guys mind going home tonight, instead of waiting until morning?" He hated to ask but he really needed to get home to Ryder. The team had only decided to stay the night because it was getting late but there was no reason not to leave.

"If it's okay with everyone else, I don't see why not." Hotch nodded, looking around the room to see everyone nodding, confusion and worry hidden on all their faces.

"You sure everything's okay?" Morgan asked, with the text and the way Spencer was acting, he was worried.

"Yeah, um," Reid debated with himself on what to say, he couldn't just say what Ryder had told him, it wasn't for him to tell. "Ryder just got some...news, and I need to be there."

"Is she okay?" Emily voiced what everyone was wondering, the whole team's attention on Spencer at this point.

"Yeah," Spencer nodded even though he honestly didn't know if that was true.

* * *

The two hour plane ride back home felt like two years as Spencer stared out the window, his leg bouncing, unable to focus on anything as he thought about the way Ryder sounded on the phone.

Once they landed, Reid only spared his fellow team members a goodbye before rushing off to Ryder's apartment, sending her a text that he was on his way. When he arrived, Tommy greeted him at the door as he pulled off his messenger bag and coat.

"She's in her room." Was all the younger man said before Spencer thanked him and walked down the hall, softly knocking on her door, pushing it open to see her sitting in the middle of her bed.

"Hey," He greeted, drawing her attention to him as she hadn't heard his knock.

"Hey," She greeted back, climbing off the bed and walking into his arms, enjoying the warmth his body gave off. "Thanks for coming back."

"Of course," Spencer whispered, rubbing her back as he buried his face in her hair. "I'll always come when you need me."

"I want to talk about this, can we do that?" She asked. Ryder wasn't one to talk about herself or her past but this was different, she felt like she had to talk about this.

"Whatever you need," Spencer nodded, rubbing Ryder's arms before leading her to the bed where the two sat down.

"I don't even know what to say," Ryder scoffed, looking down at her hands in her lap. "I mean, what do I say? What do I think? What am I supposed to do, Spence?"

"Well first thing, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. If you don't want to see him you don't have to and you don't have to feel like you do because you don't." Spencer started, his words a comfort to Ryder. "And call me paranoid but if you don't mind I can look into him for you, make sure he's legit."

"You'd really do that?" She already thought he was but Ryder had her doubts about this man so to know a hundred percent that this man was truly her father, it would help.

"Of course I would. I can find out tomorrow." He nodded. He could easily get Garcia to look into him, find out if this man really was her father, it would make him feel better about this whole situation.

"Yeah, okay, I'd like that." Ryder nodded as Spencer took her hands in his larger ones. "And if it is him, what do you think I should do?"

"I can't answer that, it's entirely up to you but know that I will be here no matter what decision you make."

"Tommy said something similar," Ryder mumbled. She understood where they were coming from but she just wanted someone to tell her what to do because she had no idea herself. "I don't know what I want to do."

"And that's okay. I'd probably be surprised if you did, to be honest." Ryder huffed a laugh at that, a small smile pulling at her lips. "You don't have to decide anything tonight or even tomorrow, okay? Maybe you should sleep on it."

"I am tired." Ryder nodded, rubbing her eyes as she did.

"Come here," Spencer mumbled, pulling her into his arms where she soon fell alseep to the steady rythm of his heart beat.

* * *

Going into work the next day, Spencer goes straight to Penelope's office, knowing she'd be there because he wasn't early today, having stayed with Ryder as long as he could've, making her breakfast and sitting until she all but forced him out the door, telling him she was fine.

Knocking on the slightly opened door, Spencer enters when he hears Garcia's voice tell him to come in, seeing the blonde sitting in her desk, looking over her shoulder to see who had entered.

"Hey, boy genius, what can I do for you on this fine morning?" She asked with a smile, turning back to her many computers as Reid walked over to her.

"I need you to look up a name for me," He started, pulling up a chair to sit next to her. "It's uh, a personal thing. I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell the rest of the team."

"Is everything okay?" She asked, her smile gone as she looked to her friend with worry.

"Yeah, just..." Spencer sighed. Ryder had permitted him to do this, even to tell Garcia who he was looking into. "Ryder grew up in foster care until she was adopted at fifteen. A man approached her the other day claiming to be her biological father. I need you to look him up, make sure he really is."

"Oh, my poor girl." Garcia mumbled to herself, nodding as she turned to her computers, ready to do anything to help her friend. It took a little bit of searching to find the exact Roy Parker but once they did, Penelope was able to find everything out with some digging, the adopting papers being sealed until she unsealed them.

"So it is him?" Spencer asked just to be sure, even though he was reading the evidence in front of him.

"It seems so," Garcia said, her voice slightly distant as she read over Ryder's file. She knew she shouldn't, that it was an invasion of privacy but she couldn't help it, almost like her fingers moved over the keyboard with a mind of their own. "Oh," She squeaked out when she read something in particular that she didn't like at all, drawing Spencer's attention back to her.

"What?" He asked, his eyes going from her face to her screen, quickly reading over the words on her screen, the younger man letting out a sigh of realization came over him.

"Did you know?" She asked him, tearing her eyes away from the screen to look at Spencer, a frown overtaking her face.

"Yes," Spencer nods, his eyes meeting Garcia's, the worry showing through them. "She's okay, Garcia, really." He assured his friend, knowing how big of a heart the women had and how she worried for the people she cared about.

"Oh, but-"

"Garcia," Spencer said softly, his friend big eyes looking into his own. "She's okay. Thank you for your help."

"Uh, okay, n-no problem." Garcia nodded, quickly closing all the tabs before she could read anymore as Spencer walked out of her office, pulling out his phone on his way.

"Hello?" Ryder's voice came through the speaker, the young women sounding slightly out of breath.

"Hey, it's me," Spencer said when he realized she probably answered without looking at the caller ID. "Where are you?"

"I just got home, I went for a run, needed to move. I couldn't stand being cooped up in the apartment." Ryder told him as she walked through her building. She had been working a lot that week so she was far from couped up but with the decision about her father weighing on her, she felt like she was trapped and needed to do something.

"I talked to Garcia, I have your answer."

Pausing in her steps, Ryder nods before taking a seat at her kitchen counter, ready to know. "It's really him, isn't it?" She knew, of course, she did, she had an undeniable feeling deep down that he was who he claimed to be.

"Yes," Spencer said after a moment. "Are you okay?"

"You know, I think I am." Ryder nodded, feeling different than she expected. She still didn't know what to think or what to do but she felt different knowing for sure. "Thanks, Spence."

"You're welcome. Call me if you need anything, I'll see you later. Love you."

"Yeah," Ryder nodded, standing as she walked back to her room, ready to take a shower. "Love you too."

After hanging up, Ryder tosses her phone onto her bed before going into the bathroom and stripping from her workout close and climbing into the shower, trying to relax as she thought about her father.

She couldn't deny her need for answers but she knew how hard it would be to sit across from the man with all the anger and resentment she held towards him. But would she ever be able to move on if she knew she had the chance to learn about where she came from and she passed on it? She'd always secretly wondered about her past, why her parents have given her up. Had they died, not been able to keep her for reason beyond her knowledge or did they just not want her?

The answer is no, she wouldn't be able to move on and she wouldn't be able to forgive herself if she didn't at least try to talk to him, have him explain why he and her mother did what they did, why they didn't want her.

By the time Ryder figured out her thoughts, the water had run cold and she exited the shower, wrapping herself in a warm towel and returning to her room to get dressed for the day. Her schedule wasn't as full today but she did have things she needed to do which she was grateful for, it helped keep her mind off the decision she knew she was going to make.

It worked, she was distracted all day, returned home right before Spencer did, the older man bringing food with him.

"Aww, Spence, you didn't have to do this." Ryder said with a smile, greeting her boyfriend with a kiss before she grabbed them drinks and utensils, joining him on the couch were they frequently ate dinner.

"How was your day?" Reid asked, the question having a larger meaning than it normally would.

"Uh, busy," Ryder started, playing with her food more than eating it. "I think I've come to a decision." Spencer didn't talk, only gave her his attention, allowing her to continue. "I'm gonna call him."

"That's great. If you need anything, if you want me by your side, I'll be there." He made sure she knew he was with her, no matter what.

"Thank you, Spence, that means everything but I think I'm gonna do this one on my own if that's okay." Ryder hadn't thought this through much but she did know this. When she sat down to talk with her father for the first time, she wanted to do it one on one. Not that she wouldn't be anxious and nervous, knowing Spencer's presence would help, she needed to do it by herself.

"Of course, just let me know you're okay when you do."

"I will," She nodded, smiling at his protectiveness. "Promise."

* * *

The day arrived sooner than Ryder imagined, but she just blamed it on her nerves. Spencer and Tommy both knew she was meeting her father today, she'd even called Steve the day before to fill him in, her best friend promising to be home soon.

As she normally did, Ryder worried about what to wear among other things before she finally set out to meet her father at the cafe she had suggested, knowing she wouldn't have much of an appetite, his faintly familiar face coming into view as her eyes scanned the room.

He looked to be in his forties, his dark hair starting to turn grey on the sides. He was on the tall side, Ryder guessed he was only a couple inches shorter than six feet. He wasn't particularly fit, but he didn't look like he spent his weekends sitting around the house.

He stood when he saw her, a nervous smile pulling at his lips when he did. Taking a deep breath, Ryder walks over to him, giving a tiny wave when she couldn't manage words.

"I'm glad you called." Roy told her after they sat down, his hands fidgeting much like Ryder's were and have multiple times in the past.

"I wasn't sure if I was going to." Ryder told him, finding it easier to speak than moments before.

"I understand," He started, his mouth open to say more before Ryder cut him off.

"Do you?" She asked, looking into his eyes, her brows furrowed. "Did your father abandon you when you were a baby?" He could have for all she knew and it felt rude to ask but she couldn't stop herself.

"No, he didn't," Roy admitted, bowing his head when he heard the anger behind her words. "I'm sorry."

"Are you?" She didn't mean for his previous words and they both knew it. "Are you sorry?"

Roy hesitated in his words, his eyes scanning his daughter's face. She really did look like her mother, he thought, she had that fiery look in her eyes just like she had when she got angry.

"Yes," He finally said, his word just louder than a whisper, his face holding a somber expression.

"Then why?" Ryder asked, trying her best to keep her emotions in check, blinking as her eyes started to burn with unshed tears.

He knew that question would be asked and no matter how many times he'd run through the answer he would give in his head, he couldn't seem to find the right words. There weren't any right words really, he knew that but he also knew he had to explain, he owed her that much.

"When your mother and I found out she was pregnent with you, we were only teenagers. I was sixteen, she was fifteen." He began, the memories in his mind that it was yesterday, not twenty-four years. "We were scared, we didn't know what to do. And we both decided..." He hesitated, not even wanting to bring up the fact that abortion was even on the table in the first place, but Ryder knew what he meant. "We decided that's not what we wanted, so she went through with the pregnancy and..." He trailed off, the rest speaking for itself.

"Where is she? My mother?" Ryder didn't know if she wanted the answer but she knew she needed it. Her father's words spread some light on things, it was an option she had run through her mind a few times before along with many others but she found it didn't help at that moment, she was still angry.

"She uh," Roy once again hesitated. "After you were born me and your mother moved on, we drew apart. It just wasn't working. Seven years ago I got news that she had passed."

"Oh," Ryder mumbled. She held anger towards her mother just like she did her father, but she still felt sad at the news that the woman she had never even met was dead. "Why now? Why did you start looking after all these years?"

"Ten years ago I married the love of my life. Two years after that we had a little baby girl." Roy informed, his words causing Ryder's eyes to snap to his face.

"I have a sister?" She whispered, the new information shocking her.

"Yes. She's eight. Her name is Isabella." Roy said and Ryder let out something that sounded like a choked laugh and cry all in one. "But I never stopped thinking about my first daughter, I never stopped thinking about you. And when Bella was born I couldn't hold it in any longer and I told my wife. She excepted it and even suggested I track you down when she saw how guilty I felt about everything. It took me seven years until I finally started looking."

Ryder didn't speak, she couldn't. Her head was in her hands, elbows resting on the table in front of her. What was she supposed to say to that? She wanted answers and she got them but they only made her feel worse.

"Um, I-I'm sorry, I need to go," Ryder finally stuttered out, standing to grab her bag and coat.

"O-of course," Her father nodded, knowing this was probably a lot for her but also fearing she would leave forever. "If you want to talk again..."

"I don't know what I want right now," She told him before storming out into the cold, deciding to walk home to help clear her mind.

By the time she reached her apartment, her fingers and toes were numb to the cold, her nose red and lips turning slightly blue from the breeze that seemed to be on her face the entire way there.

She hadn't noticed until she got there that she had a missed call from Tommy and Steve, two from Spencer. They must have been trying to check up on her. It was sweet, she thought before sending them all a quick text so they wouldn't worry before turning to her bathroom.

Turning the shower on, Ryder slowly removed her winter clothes, not realizing tears were falling down her face until after she had climbed under the waters warm spray. She wasn't even sure the reason she was crying. She had always imagined the reason her parents had given her up was because they just didn't want her but hearing it was still like a punch to the gut. And even if he tried coming back into her life now, it didn't make her feel any better. If he wanted to be in her life, he was twenty-four years too late.

Her mother was dead. Her biological one. She would go as far as to say she hated the women despite feeling sympathy for her. She had just as much a hand in giving her up as her father did and she couldn't even ask her why because she'd never be able to meet her.

Not to mention she had a half-sister. The idea just seemed crazy to her, having another sibling, this one a little sister over an older brother. She felt no anger towards the little girl, she probably didn't even know Ryder existed and probably wouldn't understand if she.

Ryder was pulled from her thoughts by a faint ringing sound. Her phone. She had brought it into the bathroom with her, setting it on the sink before she got into the shower. She'd been in there long enough, she decided, running all these thoughts through her head as she cried. It was time to stop.

"Hey," She answered her phone after wrapping a towel around herself, seeing Spencer's name light up the screen, clearing her throat when her voice came out slightly raspy.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded, whipping her nose as she looked at her reflection, her bloodshot eyes looking back at her.

"Really? You sound like you've been crying." Spencer said worried, knowing she was most likely upset from the meeting with her father.

"Can't get anything past you." Ryder chuckled before sniffing. "It's just..."

"Your father?" Spencer filled in when after a few moments of silence.

"If you can even call him that." She said bitterly, her left hand playing with the edge of the towel as her right one holds the phone to her ear.

"I take it didn't go well?"

"Not exactly. I don't really want to talk about it over the phone if that's okay."

"Yeah, of course, I'll be home soon, want me to pick anything up?"

"I don't know," Ryder mumbled before an idea popped into her head. "Junk food."

"I can do that," Spencer chuckled, nodding his head on the other side of the phone. "I love you Ry."

"Love you too, Spence, see you later." Hanging up the phone, Ryder went to her room where she got dressed in comfortable clothes before colapsing onto her bed, tired after all the crying she had done.

* * *

Spencer was relieved when no cases came up that day, allowing him to leave on time, make a stop before heading to Ryder's apartment. It was quiet when he entered and dark, Ryder's purse was lying on the kitchen table.

Dropping his coat next to it, Spencer moves down the hall and towards Ryder's room, pushing open the cracked door to see her asleep on the bed.

He smiled at her peaceful face as he moved into the room, setting the shopping bag on the nightstand, the plastic making a louder sound than he anticipated, the noise waking his girlfriend.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He whispered as she sat up, rubbing her eyes while she did.

"No, I'm glad you did." Ryder mumbled, yawning as she threw her legs off the bed, now facing Spencer. "How was your day?"

"I think I should be asking you that," Spencer said, taking a seat next to her.

"Well, I talked to him. Or he talked. Said quite a bit actually." Ryder said in a tone Spencer had rarely, if ever, heard her use before. "About how he gave me up and just moved on like I was nothing." She was standing now, unable to sit still as she paced.

"Did he say that?" Spencer asked, watching her movements as he stayed seated on the bed, anger in him towards this man but he knew he needed to stay calm and be there for Ryder.

"He didn't use those exact words but..." Ryder trailed off, pausing in her steps and throwing her head back with a groan. "He told me my mother was dead. My biological mother. And apparently, I have a half-sister."

"Ryder, I'm sorry," Spencer said as he stood in front of her, his hands rubbing her arms.

"Don't apologize Spence, nothings your fault." She mumbled, her shoulders dropping as she leaned her head onto his chest. "I thought hearing why they did what they did would make me feel better but I was wrong, I feel worse."

"I couldn't even listen to him talk anymore. I just left."

"That's not on you." Spencer told her as he rubbed her back, doing his best to comfort her.

"And now I don't know what to do," Ryder started again, pulling away from Spencer's embrace to pace once more. "Is it bad that I hate him? Because I do. He said they were scared when they found out about me, well how does he think I felt when I was all alone, in foster homes with shitty people I didn't know and who treated me like I was nothing more than a piece of garbage."

"I hate him, I just hate him so much for what he did, for what they did." She was crying now, salty tears falling down her face as Spencer wrapped her in his arms again, holding her close as she cried.

"It's not bad that you hate him, and no one, especially not me, would think any less of you for it. He left you when you needed him most. I hate him too." That last part drew a surprised laugh from Ryder, the younger woman pulling back to wipe her face.

"I don't know what I would do without you," Ryder told him, messing with his tie to distract herself.

"Then it's a good thing you'll never have to find out." Spencer told her with a smile, wiping away her tear with his thumbs. "Guess what I got."

"Candy? Things that will rot my teeth?" Ryder asked hopefully, a small smile on her lips as she watched Spencer turn and grab the bag he'd set on the nightstand and present it to her. "Thank you."

"Anything for you, love."

* * *

 **I saw this differently in my head, but that's the story of my life. I hope you guys liked this chapter and let me know what you thought.**

* * *

'-'


	15. Moving Forward

**Words: 4,101**

* * *

Over the next few days, Ryder just tried to forget. Forget about her father and everything he had told her. She busied herself with work and friends. Steve had gotten back the day after she met with her father and Ryder told him everything.

Emily had contacted Ryder to have a girl's night out with her, Penelope, and JJ. None of the team except Garcia knew anything about Ryder but the women avoided the topic in front of the others, which Ryder was thankful for. But she didn't stay quiet entirely. She calmly and softly brought up the fact when it was just the two of them, asking Ryder how she was doing and handling the situation.

"I'm fine." Ryder shook her head when Penelope asked, the older women resting a hand on her arm, giving her an unbelieving look. "I'm confused." She changed her answer, this time being truthful.

"Oh, honey, that's normal," Garcia told her, rubbing Ryder's arm in a form of comfort.

"Spencer and my brother are supportive and I love them for it, but I don't know what to do and I just wish someone would tell me." She confided in the blonde, proud of herself for keeping her emotions in check.

"Well, no one can tell you what to do," Penelope started, looking off in the distance as Ryder watched her. "You have to make that decision, and I don't know what that's like exactly but if I had the chance to be with my parents again, either one of them, I'd take it."

Ryder nodded to her words, really thinking them over. It wasn't the exact same but Ryder saw Penelope's point and was able to see the situation from a different point of view. "Thanks, Penny. That actually helps a lot."

"Oh good, anything for you, darling," Garcia said with a smile, happy she would help as she wrapped her arms around Ryder in a hug.

Ryder enjoyed going out with the girls, Natalie was her only female friend and the model was often busy. It was nice, she loved her boys but girls need girl time and it was far overdue for Ryder to have some real girl time and it was exactly what she needed to get her mind off everything and help her feel better. Sometimes when making a big decision, you just needed to stop thinking about it. If that makes any sense.

And Ryder did. When she got to Spencer's apartment that night, the couple sat down for dinner and she brought it up, telling him she decided to contact her father again.

It was late but she suddenly feared losing this chance and so she decided to send him a text, letting him know she wanted to meet again. His response only came a little while later, saying he could do the next day if that was good for her, which she responded with a yes, telling him she'd like to try to go for lunch this time. Hopefully, they could actually sit through a whole meal this time.

It made her feel better, knowing he was still there, which she found odd, finding peace in knowing the person you hated was there. But she tried not to think about it to much, distracting herself in spending time with Spencer until the couple settled down for the night.

* * *

It seemed easier than last time, Ryder thought as she appraoched the little resturant she was meeting Roy at. Maybe she had gotten most of her emotion over it out. Or maybe she was just more confident in herself.

Something Ryder had realized over the time she debated on what to do was it didn't matter in the end. Sure this man was her biological father but she didn't need him to have a family. She had Tommy, her brother, Steve, her best friend of many years, Spencer, the love of her life, and all the other people she had in her life that she cared for. They were her family and that's all she needed. She would give it a chance, and she would admit to herself that she wanted it to work out, but if it didn't, she would be okay, because she already had a family.

Straightening her shirt, Ryder reaches out and pulls the door open, walking into the warm building, her eyes scanning the room much like last time. He was there before her, his eyes meeting hers before he waved her over.

"I'm glad you came, and I'm sorry about last time. I should've known it was going to be hard for you." Roy said, feeling bad for the way things happened the last time he was with his daughter.

"Yeah," Ryder mumbled. "I'm sorry too. I was angry and I didn't even think about how you might've felt. I can't say I'm not still angry but I also don't know what it was like for you so...I would like to try again." It was hard to admit but she knew it would be harder if she didn't. She was scared, scared that if she got to know him, let him in that she would get hurt. It's happened before and she was scared of letting it happen again.

"No, you have nothing to apologize for." Roy shook his head. He couldn't imagine what it was like for her, growing up never knowing what happened to her parents or why they gave her up, never knowing where you came from.

"Can we just..." Ryder trailed off, meeting his eyes as she struggled to ask. "Start over?"

"I'd like that," Roy nodded with a smile, telling himself to take things slowly at the risk of causing her to leave again, this time maybe forever. "Um, tell me about yourself." He thought it was a good place to start and he was curious.

"Okay, um," This is weird, Ryder thought with a shake of her head. "Well, I-I'm a photographer." She shrugged, not really knowing where to start.

"That's great, you like it?" Roy asked right as the waiter came over to take their drink order, their conversation picking up after he left.

"I love it, it's, I couldn't imagine doing anything else." She told him, the smallest of smiles pulling at her lips as she thought about her job. It wasn't even like a job, it was what she loved to do. Whoever said, "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life" was right, she thought.

"That's good," Roy nodded, happy that his daughter was happy.

"Uh, w-what about you?"

"I'm an oncologist." Without her permission, Ryder's eyebrows rose up, not having expected that answer.

"That sounds...depressing." She said, unable to imagine being in that line of work.

"It has its ups and downs." Roy agreed with a nod. "I live up in New York. I took some vacation time to come down here and see you."

"When do you have to go back?"

"Soon, but that's not important right now." Roy shook his head. He missed his family back home, he had to leave in a couple of days but he wanted to get to know his daughter, create a relationship with her. "Tell me more about you. Anyone special in your life?"

"Uh, yeah," Ryder nodded, a smile coming to her lips as Spencer popped into her mind. "Yeah, his name is Spencer, we've been together for a little over a year."

"That's good," Roy said. He always thought about when Isabella got older he would hate when she discovered boys, planning to give them a talk about how if they did anything to hurt her they would have hell to pay but Ryder was an adult and he was new to her life, he didn't want to overstep, thinking he didn't have the right to say anything about it. "Friends?"

"A few, yeah." Ryder started, pausing for a moment before continuing. "And a brother. I have no idea how much you know but when I was fifteen I got adopted, and I gained a brother."

"You two are close?" He asked, happy to know she had people in her life that cared for her and she cared for in return.

"Yeah, we're family." Ryder cleared her throat when the word family came off bitter, reminding herself how she wanted to give this a chance and being rude and angry wasn't the way to do that. "Um, you said you were married?" She changed the subject quickly, the waiter returning with their drinks, apologizing for the wait before taking their food order.

"Yes," Roy started once the young man walked away, remembering Ryder's question. "Her name is Lyla, she's a teacher." He had a smile on his face, matching the one Ryder had when she thought of Spencer, allowing the young women to see how he truly loved his wife. "And if one day you're ever up to it, I know she'd love to meet you."

Ryder didn't say anything immediately, causing Roy to backtrack. "I'm sorry, too much?"

"No, no, i-it's fine," She shook her head. "Just...maybe a little."

"Right, sorry," Roy closed his eyes, cursing himself silently for pushing too much.

"It's just, I've spent my whole life not knowing why, I guess," Ryder tried to explain, not completely knowing how to explain her thoughts. "And then suddenly you show up and I just don't know how to react." She said slowly, trying her best to explain.

"I know you probably hate me. I hate myself for what I did and I wish I could change it and I know me saying this isn't going to help but..." Roy trailed off, trying to find the words he needed to let her know he really did mean this. "I do want to be in your life and I'm going to try my hardest to be. And I'll be honest, I have no idea how to do that."

"Yeah, me either." Ryder admitted while nodding her head. It made her feel better to say that, she wanted to trust him but it was hard. He says he wants to try and so does Ryder, but she had no idea how to do that.

"You're right, I do hate you," Ryder started. She hated secrets and lies so she was going to be honest. "I'm angry at you. Just being here is hard but a friend of mine said something the other day and I realized I owed it to myself to try to have you in my life."

"You have every right to hate me and be angry, and I'm not going to try to tell you not to be but I will try to make up for everything, if you'll let me."

"I'll try my best." Ryder nodded once again, willing to give him a chance and praying she wouldn't regret it.

"That's all I ask."

* * *

"Heeeey, big brother, whatcha doin?"

"What do you want?"

"What? Why do you think I want something?" Ryder asked, pretending to be offended as she placed her hand over her heart.

"Because I know you," Tommy said, raising a brow at his little sister. "Now spit it out."

"What are you doing tomorrow night?" Ryder dropped the sweet facade, resting her chin on her fist as she looked over to her brother.

"Uh, I don't know but I have a feeling you're about to tell me." Tommy smiled, wondering what she was up to.

"So Spencer and I are having dinner with his team and I wanted you to come along." She flashed him a smile and her best puppy dog eyes, hoping he would accept.

"I don't know, Ry." Tommy shook his head, unsure.

"Oh, come on, please? I already brought it up and they want to meet you." Ryder told him, biting her bottom lip as she waited for his answer.

Blowing out a big breath, Tommy looks into his sister's hopeful eyes and chuckled. "Yeah, okay." He nodded, not like he would've been able to tell her no anyway, she's had the puppy dog eyes down since he could remember.

"Yay!" Ryder cheered with a small clap and Tommy only smiled wider and shook his head. "Okay, tomorrow night, meet here and we'll all ride together."

"Where are we going?"

"Uh, David Rossi's house. You know, the author, cause he's on the team. And I say house but it's more of a small mansion." Ryder rambled.

"Bigger than our house?" Tommy asked, thinking of his childhood home.

"About the same." Ryder shrugged. Their mother, Eleanor, did well in life and had a very nice and very large home. "And he's a great cook." She added offhandedly.

"Who is?" Spencer asked as he walked into the apartment, having only heard the last thing Ryder said.

"David. I was just asking Tommy if he would come to cause the others want to meet him." Ryder informed, turning back to the stove to stir dinner.

"And?" Spencer asked, wondering the younger man's answer as he set his messenger bag on the table before joining the others at the counter.

"He's coming," Ryder answered before Tommy could, throwing a stern look to her brother over her shoulder even though he'd already agreed to come.

"She's impossible to say no to." Tommy whispered to Spencer when Ryder was distracted.

"Tell me about it." Spencer responded in an equally quiet voice, knowing all to well that that fact was true.

"What are you two whispering about over here?" Ryder asked while turning around, pointing the spoon in her head at them with a raised brow.

"Nothing," The boys said simultaneously, their heads snapping to Ryder as she gave them a disbelieving look, dropping the subject as she shook her head and turned back to cooking.

"Sure," She said to herself. "Would you guys grab some plates?"

"Yes, ma'am." Tommy said as he stood with Spencer, the two of them collecting plates and cups before setting the table, the trio soon sitting down to have a peacefull dinner.

* * *

The next day when the clock hit one O'clock, the team was still at the office, a case yet to come up which they were all thankfull for as everyone was excited for dinner that night. They always loved there get togethers, having everyone along with their immediate family was always a good time.

Spencer was sitting at his desk unable to focus on his work as something was bothering him. It was something he'd been thinking about for a while now, he just didn't know how to bring it up, fear of being shut down. And with the recent events happening, he wasn't sure if it was the right time.

Derek, being the good friend he was, noticed Spencer's distractive behavior and brought it up when the two were alone, having both gone to the break room. "What's up with you today?"

"What?" Spencer asked, his head turning to look at Morgan. "Uh, nothing."

"You sure about that?" Morgan raised a brow and Reid sighed, looking over his shoulder to see if anyone else was around.

"I want to ask Ryder to move in with me." Spencer caved, feeling better now that someone else knew.

"Way to go, Reid," Morgan smiled, slapping Reid on the shoulder. "So what's the problem? I know she'd say yes."

"It's not that, not entirely anyway," Spencer shook his head, knowing he was worried she'd say no. "Ryder's got some stuff going on and I don't think it's a good time but it's killing me to wait."

"Oh, Reid," Morgan sighed, seeing his friends struggle. "There's never going to be a perfect time and I don't know what's going on but Ryder loves you, you don't need to worry."

"I guess so," Spencer sighed with a nod, knowing his friend was right. "Thanks."

"No problem, kid." Morgan said, patting Reid's shoulder again as he passed, walking back to his desk.

Derek was right, Spencer knew it. There was no perfect time for anything really, he just didn't want to put this on Ryder when she was dealing with her father. Ryder was trying her best to have a relationship with her father but it was hard for her, the young women still holding anger towards him. Roy had gone back home but the two texted occasionally, Spencer imagined he didn't want to lose contact with his daughter at the risk of losing her.

Ryder talked with Reid about it which he was happy for, both of them had trouble opening up to other people and talking about themselves but over the time they've known each other, they've come to trust in their partner. She vented, Ryder called it, she always felt better after she did.

She often felt bad after she did though, telling Spencer her problems didn't compare to the ones he saw daily but he always shook his head, telling her that she was the most important thing to him. He loved her, she was everything to him. He wanted to do more than just move in with her, but one step at a time.

Spencer felt a little better about things and was able to focus on work until it was time to go home, leaving with "see you soons" to his team before heading to Ryder's apartment, excitement filling him up as he did, having made a decision with himself.

Ryder was getting ready when Reid arrived, coming into the main room when she heard the door opened, her eyes following Spencer's figure as he quickly approached her, wrapping her in a hug, drawing a surprised laugh from the younger women.

"What's this for?" She asked while returning the hug, happy but confused, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Let's move in together." Spencer went for it, saying the words before he could stop or second guess himself, pulling back only enough to look at Ryder's shocked face, her mouth falling open but no words coming out.

"Uh," She stammered for a second, her brain processing Spencer's words before she huffed out another laugh. "Spence, we're about to go to dinner, Tommy's on his way." She reminded him, shaking her head but not removing her hands from the back of his neck.

"I know, I know, but I couldn't wait any longer," Reid told her. "Just...what do you say?"

"Well, yes you dummy, of course." Ryder let out another laugh before Spencer leaned down, his lips meeting Ryder's in a kiss. "Honestly, I thought you'd never ask." She whispered when they pulled away, slightly out of breath.

"Sorry for the wait." Spencer mumbled against her lips, the smile on his face looking far from sorry.

"Don't be, it was worth it." Ryder grinned right back, lifting to the tips of her toes to place another kiss to Spencer's lips, the sound of the door's lock clicking open pulling the couple away.

"I didn't just walk in on something, did I?" Tommy asked, looking between the two, making a mental note to knock from no on.

"No," Ryder laughed before looking up at Spencer. "Not exactly. You ready to go?"

"Whenever you are," Tommy replied, pulling out a barstool to take a seat.

"I'm gonna change real fast," Spencer said, giving Ryder a quick kiss before disappearing down the hall.

"So," Tommy started as Ryder approached him, unable to get any more words out before she started speaking.

"We're moving in together," She said quickly, a huge smile on her face as she tried to keep her voice down, letting out an excited squeak sound. Normally with something like this, she would wait to tell people but she was just so excited, she couldn't hold it in.

"You look like you did when you were eighteen, fangirling over that stupid tv show." Tommy said, teasing his sister.

"Okay, it wasn't stupid, it was great and come on Tommy, be happy for him." Ryder told him, dropping the excited tone before giving him sad eyes.

"I'm kidding, I am happy for you, sis." Tommy smiled, standing from his seat to hug his sister. "I love you, kiddo."

"Thanks, Tommy, love you too." Ryder said, her voice muffled by her jacket as she hugged him back. "Behave tonight, okay?"

"Me? Behave? I think you should be telling yourself that." Tommy chuckled, being the calm one out of the siblings. Although Ryder had changed since her younger years, Tommy remembers the rebellious teenager she used to be.

"Please." Ryder scoffed as Spencer reappeared, looping his arm around her as the group made their way outside and towards Rossi's house for dinner.

After arriving, the group made there way up to the house, not bothering to knock before entering and navigating their way to the others. "Hey, guys," Ryder greeted with a smile, giving everyone a quick hug, and smiling at Henry before she turned to introduce her brother.

"Um, everyone this is my brother, Tom." It felt weird calling him that but he once told her she was the only one allowed to call him Tommy so she always introduces him as Tom. He went by Thomas when he was younger but as he got older everyone shifted to calling him Tom except Ryder, she's always called him Tommy.

"Good to meet you, man." Morgan was the first to step up, shaking Tommy's hand with a nod, introducing himself before stepping back and allowing the others to do the same.

The group soon moved to eat dinner, their conversations full of laughs until they moved back into the lounge area where Ryder got to hold Henry, a smile on the young woman's lips she couldn't wipe off as she looked down at the little baby's face.

Spencer was watching her, his own smile spread across his face. She looked beautiful, he thought, and seeing her with Henry made him realize how amazing of a mother she would be.

A few minutes later, Spencer excused himself from the room to refill his drink in the kitchen, Morgan following after him, taking advantage of the one time he could speak with his friend alone.

"So, you seem less distracted from the last time I saw you." Derek started, hinting at the subject the two had talked about earlier that day.  
"You were right, there never was going to be a good time to ask, so I did." Spencer told him, peeking around the corner to see Ryder still holding Henry.

"And?" Derek asked although he knew the answer to the question, if she had said no he imagined there would be some awkward tension between the two.

"She said yes." Spencer said with a smile, excitement bubbling in his stomach, causing a bigger smile to pull at his lips.

"Congrats man," Morgan chuckled, patting Ried on the shoulder. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Spencer nodded, thinking back to a few hours ago when he'd asked. I'm pretty sure she also called me dum." He said when he remembered, furrowing his brows.

"Probably cause you waited so long," Morgan told him with another small laugh, following Spencer's eyes to see Ryder and Henry. "She's good with him. I know I was only joking the other day but..." Derek trailed off before walking back towards the others, leaving Spencer standing for alone for a minute until he rejoined the others.

"Hey," Ryder greeted her boyfriend with a smile when he sat next to her, her attention soon turning back to Henry at she held him under his arms, the small boy trying his best to stand on her lap. "I think he likes me."

"It's hard not to." Spencer whispered, placing a quick kiss on Ryder's cheek.

* * *

 **Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed this one, the happy couple are taking a big step in their lives together so yay!**

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	16. Holiday

**Shorter chapter but I decided I wanted to post it by itself. Thanks for the favorites, follows, and reviews, they mean a lot!**

 **I didn't get to write much yesterday, I just lost inspiration and I was super tired, I've been up a lot at night taking care of some baby animals but I was thinking today and got some idea I hopefully won't forget. I should probably go write them down.**

 **Words: 2,613**

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The young couple decided to wait until after Christmas to move in together, the holiday was quickly approaching and they thought it would just be easier. They had talked about it and came to the decision to move into Ryder's apartment. It was a little bigger than Spencer's and it had her studio she sometimes used for work. It just made more sense.

Spencer already had a lot of his clothes at Ryder's as he spent most nights there anyway, but over the few days leading up to Christmas, he had moved most of them, along with other daily objects, over slowly.  
The couple had put up decorations about a week into December, taking advantage of the first opportunity they got for fear Spencer would be called away on cases and not get the chance until late.

Christmas shopping wasn't as fun though, Ryder as always had no idea what to get anyone but in the end, she found things she felt confident in before wrapping them a placing them under the tree.

It was a fun time of the year, Ryder had grown to love it after Eleanor adopted her, the older women having a big love for the holiday. But it was also a little crazy, with shopping, parties, and work. You'd be surprised how many people want pictures taken for the holidays. But in the end Ryder didn't mind, it was her life and she loved it.

This would be Ryder and Spencer's first Christmas together and they were excited. Spencer never had much family to spend the holiday with, his father leaving him at a young age and at eighteen his mother was sent away to the hospital and even though he knew that was best for her, he still felt guilty about it. After growing close with his team members, they became his closest family and he did things with them but now he had Ryder, she was apart of his family now.

Ryder never really celebrated the holidays much either, some homes she was put in did things but she along with the other children often got pushed to the back of everything and never got to truly enjoy it, until she was adopted. Tommy, much like his mother, loved the holiday as well.

Everyone decided to get together a few days before Christmas Eve to have dinner as some of the team members were traveling to see family. It was an amazing time, everyone sharing stories, playing games, and exchanging gifts until late into the night and everyone returned to their homes.

Spencer had found out about Ryder's love for the holiday early on and had planned a date for the two of them on Christmas Eve night. They went out after dark to see the lights, one of Ryder's favorite things, they walked through a park, holding hands and standing as close as they could to try and ward off the cold weather before going back to the apartment where he had a romantic dinner set up, candles and everything. Which wasn't there when they left leading Ryder to assume he had help from someone. It was one of the greatest Christmas Eve she could remember having.

One of Ryder's favorite traditions was baking cookies on Christmas Eve. It brought back good memories of her mother and she had yet to skip a Christmas doing it since she was sixteen. This year she and Spencer did it together, making a bigger mess than necessary and possibly eating more cookie doe than the actual cookies.

Her father had called to wish her a merry Christmas. It had made Ryder happy, the young woman surprised with herself when she only felt the tiniest bit of anger towards the man and had wished him Merry Christmas back.

Now Christmas morning. As a little kid, it was like all other mornings for the most part but over the last few years, Ryder had come to love it because the whole family, no matter how small, would gather in one room and spend time together, talking, laughing, and eating a very unhealthy breakfast. A lot of people's favorite part about Christmas morning was the presents but Ryder's was spending time with her family. When she was a teenager it was her mother and Tommy, but this year it was Spencer and Tommy. It was sad not having her mother there but she knew Eleanor would want her to be happy so she focused on the family she still had.

Since Spencer went all out the night before, Ryder wanted to do something nice for him and woke up early the next morning to make breakfast, spending a minute smiling at Spencer's peaceful face as he slept, his messy hair covering parts of his eyes.

Sneaking from the room, she quietly made pancakes, cinnamon rolls, and eggs before putting on a pot of coffee. It was a lot of food but Tommy would be by later and Ryder knew he'd want some as well.

It took about an hour to finish everything, including setting up the table with the food, fresh fruit, and drinks, before she snuck back into the room, crawling onto the bed to sit next to Spencer.

"Hey, sleepyhead." She mumbled when he slowly opened his eyes, lightly sweeping the hair out of his face.

"Morning," Spencer mumbled, his voice groggy from sleep as he rubbed his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Time for breakfast." Ryder whispered, placing a kiss on his forehead before jumping out of the bed.

Stretching his arms above his head, Spencer sits up and looks over at Ryder, a smile coming to his face as he looked at her, her small figure dressed in fluffy pajama pants and one of his T-shirts, a smile on her face as she waited for him. At that moment Spencer wondered how he got so lucky.

"What are you staring at? Do I have something on my face?" Ryder asked, worried as she lifted her hands to her face, trying to wipe away what might be there.

"No, I'm just admiring the view."

"Oh-kay, mister, get up, let's go, your food is getting cold." Ryder chuckled before turning towards the kitchen, sitting at the table as she waited for Spencer, the older man following soon after her. "Merry Christmas, babe." She said as he joined her, standing to her feet to give him a quick kiss.

"Thank you," Spencer mumbled, kissing Ryder once more before the coupled pulled apart and took their seats at the table. "You didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to," Ryder assured him before turning to her food. "I was thinking after we finish eating we opened presents, maybe watch a movie. Tommy will be here later on and we can all eat lunch together."

"Sounds perfect."

After eating, the couple opened their gifts to each other then moved to cuddle on the couch and watch tv until Tommy arrived and they opened the rest of their gifts together until it was time for lunch and Ryder started cooking with their help.

It was a simple day but it was one of the best Christmases the couple had ever had. Getting to spend time with the one they loved, not worrying about anything, only each other was perfect and just that either of them needed.

* * *

Much to both their disapointment, Spencer was called away on a case soon after Christmas. As always, Ryder didn't blame him but she did wish he could stay, her - soon to be their - apartment seemed so empty a lonely as soon as he walked out.

She busied herself with cleaning for a while until it stopped working and she thought about going into her studio to maybe paint but she really wasn't feeling up to it ad decided to call up Steve to see if he was busy, she felt like she hadn't seen him in forever.

Furrowing her brows, Ryder looked around her apartment as she tried to remember where she set her phone, a distant ringing sound soon alerting her to its presence on the kitchen table.

Walking over, Ryder lifted her phone to see who was called her, her father's name lighting up the screen. She had no idea why he was calling and if she was being honest, she didn't really feel like talking to him but decided she had nothing else to do and accepted the call.

"Hey," She greeted in a monotone voice, turning to lean back against the table.

"Hey, it's uh, it's Roy. But you probably knew that." The older man started, shaking his head at himself. "I wasn't sure if I should call but Lyla insisted. Um, we always have dinner, us three, on New Year's Eve, and um, we were thinking maybe you wanted to join us. If it's too much just let me know and I'll back off." He quickly added, not wanting to overwhelm her.

Ryder wasn't sure what to think of the request or what to do about it. New Year's Eve was just in a few days. She hadn't made any plans with Spencer or anything, not knowing if he'd even be there or not so she was free unless he finished with his most recent case and got home in time to be there. But she knew that wasn't the only reason she was apprehensive about the whole thing. Despite wanting to have him in her life, she still held a lot of anger towards him and wasn't sure if she was ready to meet him and his family at his home.

"Can I think about it?" She decided to ask rather than shooting him down.

"O-of course, just let me know what you decide," Roy said, happy she hadn't immediately said no. "Lyla and Bella really want to meet you."

"Bella knows about me?" Ryder questioned. She had thought maybe they didn't tell the young girl at the risk of confusing her over having an older sister she'd never met or if Ryder decided she didn't want to be in their life.

"Of course she does and she's excited to meet her big sister."

"Oh," Ryder mumbled. She wanted to meet the young girl as well. She might hate her father but her little sister played no hand in what had happened, she was just a little girl. Ryder would feel bad for getting her hopes up and then not coming, she understood all too much what that felt like. "I'll think about it, but I got to go."

"Okay, yeah, just let me know."

"I will. Bye." Ryder said before hanging up the phone and letting out a sigh.

Twriling the phone in her hands, Ryder shakes her head and goes back to her previous mision of calling Steve. She felt worse than she did before and wanted to do something to distract herself for a while but she knew she would have to make a decision soon.

* * *

"It shouldn't be this hard." Ryder grumbled, leaning her head back against the couch.

"I actually think you're handling quite well," Tommy told his sister, shrugging when she turned her head to look at him, raising a brow at him. "I probably would've punched him in the face."

"Believe me, I thought about it." Ryder huffed, turning her hand back to look up at the ceiling.

"I know you could." Tommy chuckled, knowing his sister could throw a punch if she needed, having taught her himself.

"If I ever decide to, I'll let you know," Ryder said as she shared a laugh with her brother before the mood quickly sobered. "I feel bad for hating him but no matter how much I try I can't stop."

"Because you have a good heart, Ry. And don't get me wrong, I don't like the guy either but if he hadn't done what he did then I wouldn't have the greatest little sister anyone could ask for."

"I am pretty great, huh?" Ryder smiled, once again turning her head to look at her brother in time to see him roll his eyes. "If I go will you go with me?"

"Of course," Tommy nodded. "But I can't promise I won't punch him." He joked, smiling when Ryder hit him on the shoulder with a laugh.

"If anyone gets to it's me."

It was only the day after she had received the call from her father. Ryder had called Spencer and talked to him about it and he sadly told her he didn't think he would be home in time for New Years.

"Yeah, you're right." Tommy nodded. "Food?"

"Yes."

* * *

After Tommy left, Ryder tried to relax by taking a hot shower, not being one for baths before she crawled into her bed and called Spencer to talk to him before she tried to go to sleep. Tried being the key word.

She couldn't stop thinking about whether or not she was going to go up to New York in a few days or not. She thought about not going but it brought an odd feeling to her chest and when she thought about going she felt unsure, maybe even a little scared.

Sighing, Ryder sat up and reached over to turn on the lamp sitting on her bedside table, her eyes catching the framed photo of her and Spencer. It was one of her favorites, it featured most of Spencer's face, his smile bright enough to light up a room as Ryder placed a kiss on his cheek from her seat next to him.

It made her smile just looking at it, her mind taking her back to when it was taken. It was a good memory, one of her favorites. It also made her sad as she looked to the empty spot on the bed next to her, her heart hurting as she wished Spencer could be there with her.

No matter how many times she told him that she understood, and she did, it didn't make her feel better when he wasn't there. She felt selfish but she couldn't help it. He was saving lives, after all, making the world a safer place one bad guy at a time even if new ones were created every day.

She'd never told him about her thoughts, though she suspected he knew to a limit, but he never said anything either. Even when they had fights. Ryder truly believed they were meant to be but they weren't perfect, they had fought a couple of times. Never anything big and they always resolved it before going to bed.

Shaking away those thoughts, Ryder rubs her face with her hands before reaching for her phone and staring at the screen as she held it in her hands, unsure of what she had planned to do with it.

It was late, everyone she could call would be asleep and she didn't want to wake them. It was this stupid decision keeping her awake. It shouldn't be so hard to decide, she thought with a frustrated sigh.

"Screw it," Ryder mumbled to herself before selecting her contacts and sending a quick text before all but throwing her phone back onto her nightstand and flicking the light off, finally able to fall asleep.

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 **It wasn't much but I'm trying my best to write some more, like I said before I suddenly lost motivation yesterday. But thanks for the reviews, they always make me feel better and make me want to write more. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter!**

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	17. More Than You Know

**Hey! I know it's been a while, don't hate me. I'm sorry.**

 **Thanks for any reviews last chapter, I'm so glad you guys enjoy this story and I've got some good stuff coming up, I'm super excited for it!**

 **Words: 4,534**

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"Yeah, we leave in a few hours."

"I'm sorry I can't be there."

"It's alright. And I won't be alone, Tommy's coming with me." Ryder said as she checked her bag to make sure she had everything.

"Travel safe, I'll let you know when I get back." Spencer said over the phone, his voice sounding tired.

"You doing okay?" Ryder asked when she picked up on it, stopping in her movements to give Spencer all of her attention.

"Yeah, it's just taking longer than we thought." Spencer sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to lie to her.

"I'm sorry," Ryder mumbled as she sat on the edge of her bed. "You'll figure it out, you always do."

Spencer only mumbled a weak agreement before changing the subject. "Let me know when you get there, okay?"

"Promise," Ryder smiled, standing once again to finish gathering her things. "I love you."

"I love you." Spencer repeated.

"Call if you need anything, Spence. I hope I see you soon."

"You will." The couple soon said goodbye and went on with their days. Spencer with his case and Ryder getting ready to go to New York. She had decided the other night and invited Tommy along with her as she didn't want to go alone.

"Hey, punk." Said brother greeted as he walked into her room, plopping down on the bed next to her bag.

"Hey, jerk." Ryder greeted back, sticking her tongue out at him in a very immature manner. "You ready?"

"Yup."

"Okay, I-I should be ready soon..." Ryder trailed off, taking a deep breath, the simple action harder than it should've been.

"Hey," Tommy started, suddenly serious when he noticed the struggle on his sister's face. "It'll be okay. We don't have to go, you can change your mind."

"I know, I know," She nodded, wringing her shakey hands together. "Why am I making such a big deal out of this?" She asked with a humorless chuckle.

"You're not," Tommy assured her. "And this is a big deal, you have every right to act however you want and I'd say you're being very mature about it."

"Not for a lack of trying." Ryder sighed as she took a seat next to her brother.

"I wonder about my parents too," Tommy stated, drawing Ryder's eyes up to his face. "You know, my real ones. I even asked mom after she told me I was adopted but she didn't tell me anything, I'm not even sure if she knew. I didn't grow up the same as you, I was a normal kid with normal parents my whole life, had a great childhood. But if my real parents showed up one day..." He trailed off while shaking his head. "I honestly don't know how I'd handle that."

"You never told me that." Ryder said after a moment of silence, watching as Tommy turned his head to smile down at her.

"I don't tell you a lot of things, Ry."

"What happened to no secrets?" She asked with a small smile, remembering the promise they made to each other many years ago.

"It's not really a secret, I just didn't tell you." Tommy shrugged.

"I think that's the same thing." Ryder said with a thoughtful look.

'Eh, I don't know." Tommy mumbled while shaking his head. "Doesn't matter anyway. My point is that I'm proud of you."

"Thanks, Tommy." Ryder smiled, leaning into his side as he threw his arm over her shoulders.

* * *

The trip up to New York seemed longer than it was, Ryder's nerves getting the better of her. She told herself it was stupid, there was nothing to be nervous about. She could leave whenever she wanted and Tommy was with her.

Roy had offered to pick them up but Ryder had declined, deciding to rent a car and drive to her father's apartment on her own. It took a bit of navigating before they found the right building. Ryder had been to New York before but she wasn't too familiar with the city.

"You ready?" Tommy asked her after turning the car off, looking over at his sister's nervous face.

"As I'll ever be." Ryder sighed as she pushed the door open before climbing out of the car. Neither sibling packed heavy. They were only staying a few days and both were good at packing light. Ryder because she'd done it all her life, moving between homes. Tommy because of the army. And he was a guy.

"Just say the word and we're gone." Tommy told her as he closed the cars trunk.

Nodding with a deep breath, Ryder looked down at her phone to see her father had texted her back. She'd informed the older man when they arrived because she knew he'd need to come let them in. The apartment he lived in was a gated one and he'd mentioned before this would be the easiest way to enter.

Sending her brother an appreciative smile as he took her bag from her, Ryder once again looked to her phone. She'd promised Spencer to let her know when she arrived, best do it now before she forgets.

"Here we go." Ryder mumbled to herself with one last sigh as her father came into view.

"Hey, how was you're flight?" Roy asked with a smile as the siblings approached. Tommy chose to stay behind his sister but still close.

"Uh, fine." Ryder nodded before gesturing to her Tommy. "This is Tom, my brother."

"Nice to meet you." Roy said as he extended his hand towards the younger man.

Anyone who wasn't looking for it wouldn't have noticed the way Tommy's jaw clenched and the tightness behind his smile. He excepted the handshake with a nod. He was being polite but the man standing in front of him had hurt his little sister. Didn't matter who you were, that puts you immediately on his bad side.

"Well, the others are upstairs, excited to meet you both." Roy informed them as they started walking inside, the warm buildings interior washing over them.

Ryder had been in some awkward situations before. So had Tommy. But the elevator ride to the fifth floor would make it on her top five list. She only hoped the entire trip wasn't the same.

Even with the tension-filled box, Ryder hesitated when they reached their floor. If that was bad, how would meeting her biological father's wife and child be?

As if sensing her discomfort, Tommy used his free hand to give her shoulder a comforting squeeze. Ryder didn't even have time to think about the fact that her brother was holding both his and her bag in one hand before the door before them opened.

She wasn't sure what to expect. But as Ryder entered the spacious apartment, she'd be lying is she said it didn't feel like a real home. It had a coy vibe about it. Most Christmas decorations were still up, like the tree and a few things here and there. It was clean but not overly so.

Walking in a small hallway greeted you, the left wall going out further than the right, leaving a clear view of the living room. A fireplace sat on the far wall, a tree off to the left of it, sitting in front of a window.

"We're here." Roy called out, setting his keys on the small table next to the door.

Following behind him, Ryder stayed close to her brother, his presence behind her bringing comfort. "Hey, honey." A brunette woman greeted as she stepped from the kitchen, a friendly smile on her face as she turned her attention away from her husband. "You must be Ryder, I'm Lyla."

"Yes." Ryder nodded, trying for her own smile. "Uh, this is my brother, Tom."

"It's so good to meet you both." The woman told them, her smile still present as she looked past them and into the living room. "Bella, come here sweetie." She called out and not a moment later, a little girl with match light brown hair ran from the hallway and to her mother.

"Hey, Bella, this is Ryder." Roy told his youngest daughter, taking the girl's small hand when she held it up to him.

"Hi, I'm Bella. Daddy says you're my sister." The little girl said, her head tilted back to help her look up.

Sending a quick glance to her brother and father, Ryder knelt in front of the girl, becoming eye level with her. "Yeah, that's right. Are you okay with that?" It was silly to want an eight-year-olds approval but this was her sister, she didn't want to be rejected by any more of her family.

"Yeah, I always wanted a sister." The young girl said. "Do you like hugs?"

"Uh, I love hugs." Ryder had been running scenario after scenario through her mind ever since she texted Roy back. But opening her arms to accept a hug from her little sister moments after meeting wasn't one of them and she couldn't be happier about it. "This is my brother, his name is Tom but I bet he'll let you call him Tommy if you want."

"You're tall." Belle told Thomas, earning chuckles from all the adults. "Taller than daddy."

"He is, isn't he?" Ryder asked, standing back to her full height.

"Mommy, can I show Ryder my room?"

"Yes, dear, just remember lunch is soon, okay?"

"Okay." The child nodded before taking Ryder's hand and leading her away. Through the living room and down a hallway and into a room obviously meant for a little girl. The walls were purple, the bed covered in stuffed animals and toys scattered around. It wasn't messy though.  
"Wow, purple is my favorite color." Ryder told the girl truthfully, letting her eyes go back to her once they'd swept the room.

"Mine too." Bella stated proudly, leading Ryder over to her bed. "This is Jack." Lifting the fluffy white and brown stuffed dog, Bella passed it to her sister.

"He's cute." Ryder commented, taking a gentle hold on the stuffed toy. "Is he your favorite?"

"I can't have favorites." Bella chuckled, picking up a zebra.

"Makes sense." Ryder mumbled, her eyes scanning the other stuff creatures. "You like animals, huh?"

"Yeah, I wanna be a vet when I grow up." Bella said proudly. "Like daddy but with aniamls."

"That's nice."

"What do you do?" The girl asked curiously.

"I'm a photographer. I take pictures of people." Ryder didn't think she needed to explain but felt the need to anyway.

"Hey, guys, how's it going?" Roy appeared in the doorway, watching his two daughters talk.

"Good." Bella responded, her focus more on the stuffed cat in her hands than her father.

"That's good. Take a break? Lunch is ready." Roy informed the girls, smiling as Bella took Ryder's hand to lead her out of the room.

"You can sit next to me." The girl told her after they got their food, pointing to the seat beside her.

"So, Ryder, Roy tells me you're a photographer." Lyla spoke first, wanting to break the awkward tension with a conversation.

"Uh, yeah, I freelance." Ryder nodded, elbowing Tommy in the side when he tried to talk with food in his mouth.

"Ow," He mumbled to her. "She's really good, you should see her paintings."

"Tommy." Ryder mumbled, the single word going unheard by everyone.

"I didn't know you painted." Roy put in from the end of the table.

"I don't really tell many people." Ryder said with a glare towards her brother. She loved painting, was good at it, even sold some before. The cafe she frequented, Lily's, the same one she met Spencer at, hung some up on their walls.

"I've never been a good artist, no matter how much I try." Lyla said with a shake of her head. "Is there anyone special in your life?"

"Yeah," Ryder nodded, smiling when she thought of Spencer. "My boyfriend. He couldn't be here because of work."

"What's his name?" Lyla asked, an almost teasing smile on her face.

"Spencer." Ryder found it easy to talk to Lyla, she was a kind woman.

"How long have you been together?" Roy spoke for the first time.

"I little over a year."

"And he's good to you?" He might not have been in her life very long but she was still his daughter, he worried.

"Roy." Lyla said in warning, shooting her husband a look. "She's a big girl."

"Yes, he does." Ryder still answered the question, feeling the need to step up for one of the greatest men she'd ever met.

The conversation steered in a different direction from there, much to Ryder's relief. It was a little stiff at first but after a while the young woman allowed herself to relax and enjoy herself.

There were moments she found herself taking a deep breath to keep any anger or annoyance down. It was only directed to her father though. Bella and Lyla were delightful and Ryder was often engaged with them. Tommy took to making conversation with Roy more often and everyone seemed okay with how it was.

The rest of the day went by smoothly and after dinner everyone settled in for the night. There was only one guest room so Tommy offered to take the couch but found himself in Ryder's room when she texted that she couldn't sleep.

"So?" The young man asked, taking a seat beside his sister on the bed. "What's up?"

"I don't know." Ryder sighed, folding her legs under herself. "I mean, everything went okay today, right?"

"Yes, it was great." Tommy nodded. "Something else got you bothered?"

"I mean, just sleeping in a new place and I know I was used to it as a kid but over the past years I've come to like sleeping in the same bed every night."

"You talk to Spencer?"

"Yeah, well, we texted. He's still working on the case. He's worried." Ryder mumbled. Whenever Spencer was on a case they tried to make time for a phone call but sometimes had to settle for a text, but something about this time made her feel weird.

"You got that from one text?" Tommy chuckled, poking his sister's shoulder.

"I know him, okay?" Ryder said, feeling defensive. "He's probably just tired, I'll talk to him in the morning."

"Any nerves about moving in together?"

"No." Ryder answered without hesitation. "Excited nerves maybe, but no bad ones."

"Good. Spencer's a good guy." Tommy nodded in approval.

"Thanks, Tommy. See you in the morning."

"Goodnight, sis."

"Goodnight."

* * *

Waking early the next morning, Ryder reached for her phone to check for any messages. She had a few notifications but nothing of interest. She knew he was busy but she was hoping for something from Spencer. She'll text him later.

Climbing from her bed, Ryder grabbed a change of clothes for the day and made her way to the bathroom and quickly got changed before heading to the kitchen.

"Goodmorning." Lyla greeted with a smile, her attention turning to the pan in front of her. "You like eggs, dear?"

"Uh, yeah, you don't have to." Ryder mumbled, rubbing her tired eyes as she sat next to Tommy who was nursing a cup of coffee. Ryder might not like the beverage but her brother loved it.

"Of course I do, it's no problem." Lyla said before opening the oven and pulling out biscuits. Ryder wondered how long she'd been up and how she was so cheery so early in the morning but then remembered the woman was a teacher. She probably had to wake early every day.

"It's to early." Bella grumbled as she came into the room, clad in pajamas.

"Tell me about it." Ryder leaned over and whispered to the girl when she sat next to her.

"I'm sorry sweetie, did we wake you?"

"No, it's okay." Bella mumbled, resting her forehead on the table in front of her.

"You can go back to bed if you want." Her mother offered, smiling over at the girl.

"I'm awake now." She grumbled, causing Ryder and Tommy to chuckle. "And I'm hungry."

"It's almost done, want to go find your father?"

"Okay." Bella cheered, suddenly completely awake as she rushed off from the way she came.

"That was the fasted mood change I've ever seen." Tommy said, his eyes slightly wide. "And I've seen your mood changes." He told his sister, earning him a slap to the shoulder.

"Do you need any help?" Ryder asked Lyla, standing from her seat to join her by the counter.

"You don't have to."

"No, I want to." She felt bad not helping, she hadn't done anything the day before.

"Alright, could you get some plates. Top right cabinet." Lyla told her, pointing to the dark wood cabinet.

Bella and Roy joined them soon after and everyone sat down for breakfast. At one point it hit Ryder who she was with. Sitting down to have breakfast with these people who were a family. She supposed she was apart of that family now and it felt weird. Her father was in her life now, even if she hadn't gotten over all her anger towards him. Lyla was a sweet woman and Ryder had no intention to see her as her mother but she was her father's wife. And then Bella, her little sister.

After finishing breakfast, Ryder and Tommy help wash and put away dishes, talking about whatever came to mind until a ringing cut them off.

"Sorry, excuse me." Ryder mumbled, pulling out her phone and furrowing her brows when she read the caller ID. "Derek?"

"Hey." Morgan answered softly and something in his voice made Charlie's heart drop. "Are you still in New York?"

"Yeah." Charlie said slowly, walking away from the others for more privacy. "Derek, is Spencer okay?"

"He's gonna okay." Morgan confirmed and Ryder let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "He's in the hospital, I think you should come home."

"Mhm, o-okay." Ryder stumbled over her words as her emotions pushed forward. "But he's okay?"

"I promise you he's okay. He's just resting."

"What happened?" Ryder demanded as she walked into her temporary room to collect her things.

"I'll explain when you get back, but don't worry." Morgan hated not telling her but he knew she'd only worry more to learn that Spencer had gotten sick from a deadly virus so he didn't. Then there was protocol and all that. "I can have someone pick you up."

"No, that's okay. My car is still at the airport." Ryder told him, throwing her bag over her shoulder. "I'll be there soon, thank you."

"See you then." Morgan mumbled before hanging up, leaving Ryder to rush from her room.

"Tommy, we got to go." She didn't mean to be harsh about it but her heart was beating way to fast and she just needed to get to Spencer.

"What's wrong?" Her brother asked, jumping to collect his things.

"Spencer was hurt, he's in the hospital." Ryder informed him, doing one last sweep for anything of her she's might leave as Tommy worked.

"Is he okay?" Lyla asked before anyone else could speak up, her voice holding worry.

"Derek, uh, his coworker," Ryder explained, elaborating when she realized they wouldn't know who she meant. "He said he would be okay but I have to go."

"No, we understand." Lyla nodded.

"Thank you, for everything." Ryder told the woman, trying her best to smile.

"When will you be back?" Bella asked, going forward to hug her.

"Um, I don't know." Ryder said truthfully. "I'm sorry to rush, but I'll see you again, okay?"

"Okay, bye." Bella waved before going to stand by her mother.

"I'll walk you guys down." Roy offered, walking ahead of the siblings to open the door. He led them to the elevator and pushed the button for the bottom floor. Ryder would have sworn it was the longest elevator ride of her life and any awkwardness that remained from last night was gone as worry overtook the girl.

"He's okay." Tommy whispered to her, giving her hand a squeeze before the door opened and they all filed out.

"Sorry for rushing out." Ryder told her father, unsure of what else to say. "Um, I'll text you, okay?"

"Yeah, have a safe flight." Roy nodded, also unsure of what to say.

"Yeah." Ryder mumbled before rushing off with Tommy to the rental car.

He drove. Ryder didn't think she would have been able to. Once they reached the airport Tommy did everything, finding the next flight out they could and buying the tickets. It was a much longer wait than Ryder would have liked but there wasn't much else she could do. So she waited. Her leg bounces and she wrung her hands together until a voice announced their flight was boarding.

It wasn't a long flight but like everything else since she got the phone call seemed to go in slow motion. Thankfully, their bags were small enough to be carry-ons, so time was saved waiting at baggage claim.

Once again, Tommy drove, going to the hospital Ryder said Morgan texted to her. Parking the car, Ryder jumped from the car so fast Tommy was worried she might hit her head or fall. But she didn't and he followed behind her.

"Where is he?" Ryder asked Derek as she approaches him, having let the man know when she was a few minutes out.

"C'mon." Morgan nodded behind him, leading Ryder down to Spencer's room. "He's still sleeping but doc says he should wake up soon."

"Spence." Ryder mumbled, reaching out to take Spencer limp hand in her own, using her free one to push some of his curls from his face. "You're okay." She wasn't sure if the words were meant for him or hesrelf but she found herself repeating them.

In the back of Ryder's mind, she wanted to ask what happened but couldn't bring herself to care, as long as Spencer was okay. "Thank you." She whispered with a tight smile when Morgan carried over a chair for her.

"Mind if I sit with you?"

"Of course." She nodded. Derek was Reid's best friend, there's no way she would ask him to leave. "Tommy, you can-" Suddenly remembering her brother was there, Ryder turned to him, about to offer that he could go home if he wanted.

"I'll stay." He cut her off. "Derek, coffee?"

"Yeah, I'll come with you." Morgan agreed, following the younger man from the room.

"Hey, so, I guess you're tired." Ryder started once both men were gone. "But if it's not too much to ask, I'd really like to see your eyes right now." Much to Ryder's dismay but not surprise, Spencer didn't answer her.

"That's okay. I'm not going to go anywhere." She promised, running her fingers through his hair. "Spencer?" She asked when she felt him squeeze her hand. "It's okay, take your time."

Bringing his hand that was now wrapped tightly around her own up, Ryder placed a kiss to his knuckles when the others rejoined them.

"Hey." Tommy whispered, tapping her shoulder and holding out a cup to her. "It's hot chocolate." He mumbled, aware of his sister's dislike for coffee.

"Thanks." Ryder smiled, somewhat awkwardly reaching over to reach it, unwilling to escape the gentle grasp Spencer had on her hand. "He just did that." The woman shrugged when Morgan gave a quiet chuckled.

"Guess he knows you're here."

"I was talking to him." Ryder admitted, sipping her drink. It wasn't that good but it came from a hospital so she wasn't surprised, she just used to as a distraction.

Blinking her tired eyes, Ryder rests her head on the side of Spencer's bed, falling asleep before she could stop herself. "She didn't sleep much last night." Tommy supplied for Morgan once he was sure his sister was out. "Said she could tell something was bothering him, from a single text." He chuckled with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, they're good like that." Morgan agreed, smiling at the sleeping couple. After another moment, Derek broke the silence and started up a conversation with Tommy about whatever as he waited for his friend to wake. They talked about sports, Derek's house flipping hobby, as he called it. Whatever they could think of until a raspy voice interrupted them.

"Are you eating my jello?"

"Ah, there he is." Morgan greeted with a smile. "How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay." The young man said, his eyes moving from Derek to land on Ryder's sleeping face. "How long have you guys been here?" The question was directed towards Tom.

"Eh, not long." He shrugged it off, happy to see Spencer was okay.

Nodding, Spencer didn't remove his attention from his girlfriend, moving his free hand over to push her hair back, much like she had to him. "Hey." He smiled when Ryder blinked her tired eyes, chuckling when they went wide and she sat up.

"Spence, hey." She greeted, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she smiled. "You feel okay?"

"Yeah, much better now." Bringing up her hand still clasped in his own, Spencer planted a kiss to it.

"Oh, get a room." Derek called out playfully.

"This is my room." Spencer shot back, coughing a little when it irritated his throat.

"Do you need some water?" Ryder was quick to ask, jumping up before he could answer and returning with a cup moments later. "Here."

"Thank you." Spencer smiled before taking a few sips. "Did you come all the way from New York?" He questioned when that bit of information caught up with his tired mind.

"Yes, Derek called, said you were in the hospital, I left immediately."

"You didn't-"

"If you dare say I didn't have to, Spencer, so help me."

"That one's all you, buddy." Derek and Tommy laugh, stopping when Ryder shot them a glare.

"I love you." Spencer told her when she turned back to him.

"I love you, too."

* * *

 **They're cute. Thanks for reading, hope you guys enjoyed! I'll try to upload soon.**

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	18. Meet The Parents

**Shot chapter today and even though I've got more written, it will be a little but longer for an update. I've been rethinking a few plot decisions and in order to see how everything's going to work out I need to write it all out first. Luckily it's not the whole story I gotta finish lol, just the next few bits.**

 **Thanks for reading and thank you guys so much for your patience!**

 **I just want to apologize for any words that don't go in a certain sentence. My brain doesn't work right and I sometimes switch words for completely different ones. Also some sentences that just don't make sense. When I write them, I say the words in my head but it comes out different and most of the time I don't notice. So apologies if you come across something like this.  
**

 **Words: 1,746?**

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Almost dying puts the important things in life into perspective. Or at least that's what Spencer Reid thought. He's been in many situations that almost resulted in his death before but this time things felt a little different.

Once the young doctor was released from the hospital, Ryder took him straight home. It took time but Spencer convinced her he was fine and the couple decided to use this time to finish the move.

Steve got home the day before and after Ryder gushed over missing her best friend, they go to work. Tommy and Steve both helped them, despite Ryder saying they really didn't have to. It ended up being a fun day that ended with the group of four eating pizza on the floor. Why the floor? It just happened.

It was later that night, after everyone had gone home and the young couple was getting ready for bed that Spencer spoke up. "What do you think about going to Nevada this weekend?" It had been on his mind for a while now, and he knew it was time.

"Nevada?" Ryder asked. She knew what he was getting at but wanted to be sure before she said anything. "Like...?"

"To meet my mom." Spencer nodded. "It's long overdue."

"I'm sorry, just everything with Roy, I've been distracted." Ryder apologized, feeling responsible.

"No, no, it's not your fault." Spencer assured her. "It's no ones. We've both been busy. What do you say?"

"Of course I want to go." Ryder smiled, her excitement soon being replaced with nerves. "She'll like me, right?"

"What? Of course she will." Spencer chuckled, rubbing the sides of Ryder's arms. "Please don't be nervous, she already loves you from what I've told her."

"Okay, okay." Ryder nodded, feeling a little better. "It just means a lot, that she approves."

"It means a lot to me too." Reid nodded. "But trust me, she loves you. You'll see."

* * *

The entire flight out to Vegas was filled with nervers fidgiting from Ryder and reasurances from Spencer. She kept apologizing for it but he waved her off. He understood, this meant a lot to both of them. But he loved Ryder and so would Diana.

They checked into a hotel before grabbing a quick lunch. Ryder made Spencer promise to show her around his home town later, she was excited and curious to see where he came from. And she'd already seen some interesting sights, the photographer inside her was fighting to get its hands on a camera.

Arriving at the building, as Ryder took to calling it. Sanitarium just didn't feel right to her. The young woman thought her nerves were gone, though she had worked through them, but as they stepped inside the doors, they came back. Her stomach felt funny and she started wringing her hands until Spencer grabbed one, giving a comforting squeeze.

"Spencer." The woman behind a desk greeted with a smile when she saw the approaching doctor.

"Hey, Megan." Spencer nodded back. "How is she today?"

"She had been talking none stop since you told her you were coming." The blonde lady responded, her eyes turning to Ryder. "You must be the famous Ryder, she's so excited to meet you." Unable to stop it, a bigger smile pulled at Ryder's lips at Megan's words. "Alright, you can go on in, she's just in there."

"Thank you." Tugging on Ryder's hand, Spencer led her into the room where he easily spotted his mother. "Mom."

"Spencer." The woman said softly, smiling and standing when she saw her son. Letting go of Ryder's hand, Spencer stepped forward to return his mother's hug before returning.

"Mom, this is Ryder."

"Hey." Ryder's voice was soft and quiet, she worried for a moment that the woman wouldn't hear her.

"Aren't you beautiful." Diana said, the complement catching the young woman by surprise. "Come here."

With a quick glance to her boyfriend, Ryder moved to accept a hug from the woman. She already felt better about this whole thing, her nerves all but disappearing. "It's so good to meet you."

"I can't believe Spencer's kept you from me for so long." Diana said, sending her son a look, earning her an apologetic one in return. "Doesn't matter, you're here now. Sit."

"Sorry we didn't come sooner." Spencer apologized after they all took their seats. "Just work and stuff."

"It's fine, Spencer. I know you do important work." His mother stressed. She misses her son, of course she does but she understands why he can't be there all the time. "Now, I want to hear all about the girl who stole my son's heart."

That's what they talked about first. Ryder told the woman about herself, the things she didn't already know from what Spencer had told her. The good things of course. Then Ryder asked about Spencer as a child. Diana started talking without hesitation. At one point they moved to the older woman's room that held photo albums.

"Aww, Spence, you were so cute, look at you." Ryder cooed, looking at the pictures of young Spencer, much to the man's chagrin. But he didn't oppose. The two most important women in his life were getting along and he couldn't be happier about it.

"If you'll excuse me, I need to use the lady's room." Ryder said as she stood from her seat, walking off.

"What's on your mind?" Diana asked her son once Ryder was out of earshot.

"What?"

"You don't fool me Spencer, I'm your mother." The woman told him simply, staring her son down.

Giving a defeated sigh, Spencer nodded and looked off to where Ryder disappeared too. He could never get anything past his mother. Reaching into his pants pocket, Reid pulls out a little, blue velvet box, his grip strong, as if it would slip through his fingers and disappear.

It wasn't anything extravagant. Just a small, round diamond in the middle, three smaller ones on either side. Attached to a rose gold band. But it was perfect.

"Gorgeous." Diana nodded, eyes scanning the engagement ring. "So, when?"

"I don't know." Spencer sighed. "I've been running every possible idea through my head but nothing seems right."

"Nothing will." Diana told him. "You'll know when the time is right."

"Thanks." Spencer mumbled, quickly sliding the box back into his pocket as Ryder reappeared.

"What are you guys talking about?" The young woman asked, retaking her seat.

"Just stuff." Diana said, shooting her son a knowing smile.

It wasn't long later that the young couple said there goodbyes and left. They were staying the night, heading out later the next day. Spencer had time off so they were taking it as a small vacation. They'd come back to see Diana before they left of course.

"She is a lovely woman." Ryder told her boyfriend as they walked through the halls. "I never should have been worried."

"Told you." Spencer mumbled, gripping tightly to Ryder's hands. The day had gone even better than he could've expected. His girlfriend met his mother. They got along. He told his mom about his plan to propose. His life seemed perfect.

"Spencer?" Spoke too soon, Spencer thought to himself as he froze midstep, Ryder doing the same with a curious look. "I didn't know you were in town."

"Yeah." Spencer shrugged, looking over at his father. His mother had mentioned he'd come to see her a few times since they all saw each other again. He hadn't expected to run into him though. "Just uh...came to see mom."

"Right." William mumbled and Ryder thought you could cut the tension with a dull knife with no difficulty.

"Hi, I'm Ryder." The woman introduced herself, trying to break to the awkwardness of this whole situation.

"Ryder, this is...my dad. William." Spencer snapped from his thoughts, hesitating as he introduced the man.

"It's nice to meet you." She said, if only to be polite. Spencer had told her all about his father.

"Pleasure to meet you, too."

"Well, we have to go." Spencer spoke up, barely giving William the chance to say bye before he was dragging Ryder out of the building.

"Well, that was...something." She mumbled.

"I'm sorry." Spencer sighed. "He just-"

"No, I get it. You know I do." Ryder nodded softly. Anger towards ones father was something she knew well.

"Of course. Can we just forget about this and have a nice dinner?"

"That sounds amazing." Ryder smiled, quickly kissing her boyfriend before the two climbed into their car.

* * *

"I want to say something and I don't want you to get upset." Ryder spit the words out before she lost her nerve, sitting sideways on the couch to look at her boyfriend.

"Okay." He said slowly, turning to face her. "I won't, what's up?"

"I think you should call your father." If possible, she said the words quicker than her last ones, speaking again before Spencer could. "I know, I know, it's not my place. I support whatever you think is best but...the way you were with him. I hate seeing you like that. I think maybe you should talk to him."

"You know, after seeing him for the first time in seventeen years I was beyond angry." Spencer started. "And I still am, mad at him, but I thought after we solved that case things might be different. Maybe we would stay in touch, or something, I don't know. But that didn't happen. I didn't try to make it." He didn't look at Ryder as he spoke, his head was down, eyes watching his hands fidgeting with Ryder's smaller fingers.

"Do you want to try?" She asked him softly, bending her head down to catch his eye. "It's okay if you don't and it's okay if you do. Like you told me before, with my father. That was my choice to make. This one is yours."

"I think...I think I want to try." Smiling, Ryder nodded, turning her hands over to take hold of his.

"I'm proud of you."

* * *

 **Ooooh, we're getting close. Or are we?**

 **I do have a picture of the ring but I don't think I can put it here other than the stories cover photo and I don't wanna change it. I might for a short time if you guys want. Not sure if I could link it but I don't have it anyway.**

 **Thanks for reading, hope you guys enjoyed!**

 **Before I'd been trying to stay in time with the show but from about this point I'm going to be doing my own sort of timeline but big things from the show will most likely still be happening.**

 **Also, if it was unclear, in the last chapter when Spencer was in the hospital, that episode was Amplification, the one with the virus.**

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	19. Marry Me?

**Sorry for the long wait. Things are getting busier, don't know when the next chapter will be up but...It's here, what I think you guys have been waiting for.**

 **I can't wait to read what you guys thing of this chapter! Hope you enjoy it! Got more plot coming later.**

 **Words: 2,551**

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When Spencer first realized he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Ryder, it was a normal day. There was nothing special or different about it. He'd come home after a boring day at work. That thought passed through his mind as he unlocked the door to their apartment. Home. This was his home. Not this building, not their shared apartment. But the woman sitting on the couch, hair messy, glasses resting on her nose as one of his shirts swallowed her petite frame. The smile that lit up her face when she turned to him. She was his home.

It may have been old fashion but Spencer felt he needed permission to ask the most amazing woman in the world to marry him. Ryder's mother had passed and her father had just come into her life not long before, it wasn't his place to give permission. So, that left Thomas.

Nervous would be an understatement when he'd asked the slightly younger man to meet him. But to his surprise, he somehow knew exactly what Spencer had on his mind. He'd barely even gotten a word out when Tommy had crossed his arms and said. _"You want to marry my sister."_ It hadn't been a question. Spencer nodded once getting through his shock. The rest of the conversation was short but in the end, Spencer got the answer he wanted. _"You're a good man, Spencer. I couldn't wish for anyone better for my little sister. You have my blessing."_

He'd thought buying the ring would be difficult. Even thought about asking for help but as he looked over the many shiny diamonds he knew none of them were right. Until his eyes landed on the one. He wasn't sure how, he just knew it was right and he bought it immediately.

He just couldn't figure out how to ask. There was always the worry that she'd say no, deny him, but Spencer was able to talk himself down from those doubts whenever they popped up. Sure, there was still that possibility but Spencer knew it was a small percentage that it would come to be.

Spencer Reid was classified as a genius with an IQ of one-eighty-seven, but figuring out how to propose was one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. After getting past the tiny freak out he had that he wouldn't figure this out, he started thinking about Ryder. What she liked and their time together. They were both more private people. Ryder was better with others than he was but she wasn't one to make a big show of things. That ruled out a public proposal. The pieces all fell together from there.

* * *

Content. That's the only word to describe how Ryder felt. Well, that and sleepy but what else do you expect from someone who just woke up? Rolling over with her eyes still closed, Ryder furrowed her brows when her arm hit cold sheets instead of her warm boyfriend. It couldn't be that late, she'd have woken up already. Or maybe not, she'd been feeling sick the past few days, maybe her body just needed extra rest.

But with a blurry glance towards the clock, the young woman discovered it was still early. It was when she sat up, rubbing a tired hand over her face that she smelt it. She'd know that smell anywhere.

Climbing from the bed with a smile, Ryder doesn't bother changing from her underwear and one of Spencer's T-shirts. She was sure she wore them more than he did these days, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Well, hello, handsome." Ryder greeted as she walked into the kitchen, her sock-clad feet easily sliding across the floor.

"Goodmorning." Spencer smiled as he walked over to her, giving her a quick kiss. "Hope I didn't wake you."

"No, you didn't." Ryder shook her head, hand coming up the back of his neck to run through his freshly cut hair. She loved his hair long, thought he looked good but couldn't deny how adorable and handsome he looked with it shorter. "Did you make me breakfast?"

"Your favorite." He nodded with one last kiss before pulling away to finish the food.

"Blueberry pancakes?"

"You know it." Spencer said as he fixed their plates. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, fruit, juice. He tried to go all out.

"What's the occasion?" Not that Spencer never did things like this for her, he was good like that. Surprising her with random romantic gestures, but this one felt different.

"I just love you." Spencer shrugged like it was nothing, setting the plates full of food on the other side of the counter in front of the bar stools.

"Oh, well I love you too." Ryder said happily, taking her seat as Spencer did the same. "You know, I'm starting to think you're trying to show me up with your cooking skills."

"Maybe a little." Spencer chuckled, watching Ryder as she took another bite of food. He knew before but it seemed like every day just made it more so. This was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Wanted to grow old with, have children with.

"Well, you win this round." Ryder commented when she finished off her food, turning to eye Spencer as he stood without saying a word.

Just go for it, Spencer told himself when Ryder took the last bite of her food. He surprised himself with how calm he'd been all morning. He'd already made the decision to do this, there was no way he couldn't but it was a big part of someone's life. And he knew it wasn't perfect. He wasn't perfect and neither was Ryder, but that's one of the reasons he loved her so much.

With a calming deep breath, Spencer looked up to meet Ryder's suspicious eyes, her brows furrowed as he reached into his pocket. The same velvet box that had been burning a hole in it since the day he bought it.

Pulling it out, Spencer saw the moment that Ryder realized what was happening. Her brows straightened out, her eyes got a little wider and she turned to face him as he got down on one knee. It wasn't necessary, he knew, he felt like most people didn't do it anymore. But it felt right, so he did it.

"I didn't write a speech because I knew the words to describe how I feel about you don't exist. But I'm hoping that you'll let me spend the rest of my life showing you. So, Ryder Mathews, will you marry me?"

Ryder was pretty sure she looked like a fish, eyes wide, mouth opening and closing, but the thought wasn't her main focus right now. She almost wanted to pinch herself, make sure she'd really woken up that morning and this wasn't a dream. It felt like a dream. The man she loved, who meant more to her than her own self, was asking her to spend the rest of their lives together. She wanted to say yes, of course she did, she knew she wanted this without hesitation, but those weren't the words that left her mouth.

"I'm not wearing pants." Safe to say those weren't the words either of them expected. "You're proposing and I'm not wearing pants."

As funny as he thought this was, Spencer felt like he couldn't breath. "I'm sorry, Ry, you're going to have to answer, I'm dying here."

"Oh, sorry, yes!" Snapping herself from her thoughts with a shake of her head, Ryder quickly answered, a smile breaking out across her face. "Yes!" Unable to wait for him to stand, Ryder wrapped her arms around Spencer from where he's still kneeling on the ground.

"You had me worried there for a second." Spencer chuckled as he returned the hug, picking them both off the floor. "Here." He mumbled once they pulled apart, taking her left hand and sliding the ring onto her finger. Perfect fit. Of course it was, he knew her ring size.

"It's beautiful." Ryder said as she admired the ring. "It's perfect." Looking away from the shining diamond on her finger, Ryder wraps her arms around Spencer's neck once more, this time connecting their lips.

"I can't believe I'm not wearing pants." She mumbled once they pulled apart, drawing a chuckle from Reid. At least her hair looked decent.

"You look beautiful."

"Spence, could you get the door, please?" Ryder called to her fiancé when someone knocked on the door. Fiancé. She was still geting used to that. The thought made butterflies fill her stomach.

"Yeah." Came Spencer's response. They knew who it was, had invited them over for dinner. Only it wasn't just dinner.

Ryder heard the muffled greetings as she walked down the hallway from the bedroom and into the main area, seeing Steve, Natalie and Spencer all talking. "Glad you guys could make it."

"Yeah, girl, it's been forever." Nat agreed, moving to hug her friend. "And I'll never pass up your cooking."

"Well, Spencer helped, he's almost as good as me." Ryder chuckled, pulling away from one friend to hug the other.

"Almost?" Spencer repeated teasingly. "You sure about that?"

"Pretty sure." Ryder nodded with a smirk.

"What is that?" Natalie asked, her voice drawing everyone's eyes to her own which were cast down.

"Oh, you know." Ryder said casually, following her friend's eyes down to her hand before holding it up. "My engagement ring."

"No!" Nat squealed. "Let me see!" Taking Ryder's hand in her own, the model gushes over the ring while Steve pats Spencer on the back before moving to hug and congratulate his best friend.

"I'm so happy for you." Steve says, voice muffled as he squeezed his friend. "Here I thought it'd never happen." He joked, laughing when Ryder hit his arm.

"Whatever." She sighed. "Keep talking and I'm going to make you a bridesmaid."

"You mean I'm not going to be a bridesmaid?" Steve asked, feigning shock and offense as he placed a hand over his heart.

"Yeah, I agree." Nat put it. "I'd love to see you in a dress."

Chuckling at their friends, the newly engaged couple split off to finish preparing the food. "Well, I say that went well."

"Two down." Spencer mumbled, thinking about telling his team. He was super excited, there was no denying it but nervous as well.

"We should probably figure out how we're going to tell the others." Ryder commented as she grabbed the bowl of salad.

"Might want to invest in earplugs." Spencer chuckled.

"Penelope?" Ryder knew exactly what he meant. She adored the older blonde woman, loved how happy and excited she got about things and couldn't wait to announce their engagement to her.

"Sorry, I'm late." Tommy called out as he entered the apartment. "I can't believe you're getting married. And before me." He joked, wrapping his arms around Ryder in a hug.

"Well, if you'd actually date." She told him with a pointed look. "And you can't believe? I can't believe you were able to keep this from me, I'm usually so good at reading you."

"No, no." Tommy shook his head. "That's what I let you think."

"Uh-huh, sure, you keep telling yourself that." Ryder said as she walked past him, setting the bowl in her hands onto the table. "Okay, let's eat."

* * *

It was decided that telling the team would be a group affair. Unfortunitly, the team got called away on a case before the couple had a chance. Spencer suffered through days keeping it from his friends. Luckily everyone was so caught up in the case, they didn't notice anything off about their youngest member.

They returned late afternoon only a few days later. Spencer had been texting Ryder, trying to figure out a plan. "Hey, guys." He voiced to his team, sans Hotch and David. "Ryder was wondering if you guys were up for dinner."

"I'm in." Derek nodded, not thinking anything of the invitation.

"I'll text Will." JJ said, pulling out her phone as she did.

"Sounds good." Emily agreed.

Ryder was already on her way to the building. They decided now was as good a time as any to tell them and they were all together now, so it was perfect.

There was still a little more work to be finished but by the time Ryder arrived with a text towards Spencer, they were just about done. Trying not to draw attention to himself, the young agent stood from his desk and casually walked from the room and over to the elevator.

Meeting his fiancée on the ground level, he helped her get through security before leading her to the elevator. "I'm shaking." Ryder chuckled, holding up her hand to show its trembling.

"Here." Taking her hand in his own, Spencer squeezed as the elevator opened. "Come on."

Smiling up at him, Ryder gave a nod along with a deep breath before the couple stepped out. "Well, hello." Emily greeted as she was the first to see them enter. "Didn't know you were stopping by, thought we were going to meet up."

"Yeah." Ryder smiled, excepting the woman's offered hug. "Just thought I'd meet up with you guys early."

"You won't find us complaining." JJ moved forward with her own smile, hugging the younger woman.

"How you doing, little lady?" Morgan asked with a smile.

"Good." Ryder answered. She's taken her ring off before getting there, choosing to keep it in her pocket until everyone was present. She wasn't willing to risk someone spotting it.

A gasp from behind the group drew their eyes around to see Garcia marching towards them. "Why didn't anyone tell me you were here?" She demanded, bounding over to Ryder before enveloping her in a hug.

"I'm sorry." The younger woman chuckled. "It was a last-minute thing." Pulling away, Ryder noticed Hotch and David coming down to join them. "But now that everyone is here, Spencer and I have something we'd like to tell you guys."

"You're pregnant." Penelope blurted out before anyone could get any words out.

"Penelope." Derek sighed, huffing a laugh and shaking his head.

"No, I'm not pregnant." Ryder laughed, slipping the ring on behind her back as she looked up to Spencer. "But I am engaged."

The reactions were almost instant. Spencer had made a point about needed earplugs. Garcia squealed and ran forward to hug Ryder before anyone else could move. Derek moved to congratulate his best friend as the girls hovered around Ryder, hugging before asking to see the ring.

"It's so beautiful." JJ gushed as she gently held Ryder's hand in her own.  
"When did you get so good at keeping secrets?" Emily asked, looking over to Spencer with a raised brow and smile.

"Come here, little lady." Morgan smiled, moving to give the shorter woman a hug.

"Congratulations." Hotch told the young couple, his normally blank face holding a soft smile. David moved forward, clapping Spencer on the shoulder before offering Ryder a hug of his own.

"Thank you." Ryder said, smiling up at everyone as Spencer took her hand. "You guys still up for dinner?"

"Yes! We have to celebrate." Garcia shouted, earning chuckles from the group. "Married couple to be coming through."

* * *

 **They're engaged! Yay, it's happening! Got more stuff coming up in later chapters but I will be honest and say it might be a little while before the next chapter.**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed!**

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	20. Five Minutes

**This is an exciting chapter. Also, I'll apologize here and at the end of this chapter because of the end of this chapter. I've got the next one mostly written, I'll try to have it up soon. I think I've got my little time line mostly figured out.**

 **Thanks for reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing! It means so much, I never thought the little one-shot I wrote would turn into this big story that so many people have enjoyed. It means a lot.**

 **Words: 3,089**

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"This is way more difficult than it should be." Ryder groaned, letting her head fall onto Spencer's shoulder. "Out of all the weddings I've photographed, I never knew it was so hard to plan one."

"We'll figure it out." Spencer chuckled. The couple has been trying to figure out everything for the wedding. They didn't want to wait so long to get married, so they jumped right into planning. "How about we take a break from finding a venue?"

"Okay, yeah." Ryder sighed. She felt like they'd never find the right place. "Want to work on the guest list? I've been running mine through my head and it's not very long."

"Mine either." Spencer mumbled. Not that it was a bad thing, neither he nor Ryder wanted a big wedding.

"Um, so..." Ryder trailed off, looking down at her finger as she played with her shirt sleeve. "I think I want Roy at the wedding." It had been weighing on her mind for the past few days. She still held anger towards the man but she wasn't mad at him, if that made sense. And he was her father after all. He might not have been in her life for a long time but he was trying now. She needed to try too.

"If that's what you want, I think it's a great idea." Spencer smiled at her. He was happy she was trying so hard to have a relationship with her father, she deserved it.

"And, you know, Lyla and Bella too." Ryder nodded. "I mean if they want to come."

"Of course they'll want to come." Reid chuckled, taking her hands in his own.

"Yeah." Ryder smiled before it slipped off her face and she bit her lip and spoke hesitantly. "Speaking of fathers." Sighing, Spencer dropped his head. "I'm not pushing, just, you said you wanted to try."

"I know I did."

"I get it, you know I do, so if you change your mind, I understand." Ryder's voice was soft as she spoke, the young woman turning in her seat to face her fiancé.

"I just don't feel like he deserves to be there." Spencer admitted, looking down at their hands.

"I get that." Ryder nodded. "But it doesn't matter what he deserves, it matters what you deserve. This is our wedding, it's your choice if you want your father there or not."

"You're right, I just don't know."

"No need to decide now." Ryder told him, giving his hands a comforting squeeze. "I just had the greatest idea." She gasped suddenly, pulling away from Spencer to grab her opened laptop. "I can't believe I haven't thought of this before." Mumbling to herself, Ryde typed some stuff as Spencer watched her with a small smile. "What do you think?" Turning the device around, Ryder watches Spencer as his gaze moves from hers and down at the pictures being displayed.

"It's this beautiful garden Macey showed me once. I completely forgot about it." Ryder rambled as she flipped through more pictures. "And I realize that's not the best impression for a wedding venue, forgetting about it after the first time visiting. But it was a busy time for me. Just look at it, it's beautiful."

Chuckling, Spencer grabbed Ryder's she'd been waving around as she spoke and pulled it close to him. "It is." He agreed.

"It's perfect. We can go down this weekend, see it in person and all that stuff." Ryder continued excitedly before her body seemed to deflate and she looked to Spencer with a small frown. "What about your mother? I know how much she dislikes flying."

"I talked to her." Spencer says, baffled that he'd forgotten to tell Ryder about it. "She doesn't like flying but she wants to be here, said she'd be okay."

"Okay." Ryder sighed with a smile. She wanted Diana there as well, she just felt bad for making the woman do something that made her so uncomfortable. "Good. What should we work on now?"

"I think, now, we should take a break." Spencer says as he takes the laptop from Ryder's lap, the woman watching his movements closely.

"Are you hungry?" Ryder questions but Spencer just smirks as he sits back up and turns to her, cupping her cheek with his hand before placing a kiss on her lips.

"Foods not exactly what I was thinking of." He mumbles when he pulls away, lowering his hands to his fiancée's waist.

"Oh, really?" Ryder asks coyly, a smirk playing across her own lips.

"Really." Spencer grins before grabbing Ryder's sides, making the girl squeal with laughter.

"Spencer! Stop!" Ryder shouted as he continued to tickle her, falling back onto the couch, feeling him follow after her. "Stop it! That tickles!"

"That's the point." Spencer smiled down at her, their laughs mingling together and moving throughout the apartment.

* * *

A few days later, after Spencer left for work, Ryder found herself sitting atop the closed toilet. Her phone was gripped tightly in her hand as she started down at the timer. It was the longest five minutes of her life. She wondered how it was possible for five minutes to feel like an eternity.

The chiming noise her phone let out almost made her fall to the floor. Her eyes had been on the timer but she hadn't been seeing it. She'd spaced out.

Ryder had wanted nothing more than those five minutes to be up but now that they were she couldn't move. She was frozen. She knew it was ridiculous to be so scared but couldn't help it.

Forcing out twp deep breaths, Ryder twists on her seat, picking up the small item from the back of the toilet. "Just look down. On three." She mumbled to herself. "One, two...three." Biting her lip, Ryder blinks her eyes down, unsurprised by what she saw. Two little lines. Who knew something so simple could change someone's whole life?

"It's okay, it's fine." She told herself, trying to decide her next move before reaching for her phone. "Hey, Nat. Um, c-could you come over? I-I need to talk to you."

* * *

"Hey, sweetie, what's up. You sounded worried on the phone." Natalie said as soon as Ryder let her in, immediately turning to sit on the couch after she opened the door.

The younger woman didn't speak, just took a seat and motioned to the coffee table in front of her. Nat followed her friend's gesture, keeping her face neutral as she looked down at the many pregnancy tests. "Are you okay?"

"I don't know." Ryder mumbled, arms hugging herself. "I-I don't know what I am. Except terrified."

"Well, it's a scary thing." Natalie chuckled. Everyone was scared when they learned they were going to be a parent. "Are you worried about what Spencer will think?"

"No." Ryder said, her voice breaking with the single word. "He wants kids, we've talked about it. He loves the idea."

"Then why are you so scared?" Nat questioned, voice soft as she placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'm going to be a horrible mother." Ryder cried, holding her face in her hands.

"What? No, sweetie, why would you say that?" The model asked incredulously. "You are the kindest person I've ever met. I can't tell you how awesome you are because we'd be here all day. You have the best heart of anyone I know. You are going to be the most amazing mother that ever was."

"Maybe you should switch careers. Become a motivational speaker." Ryder joked, giving a wet laugh as she wiped away her tears.

"Who knows, modeling might not work out in my future." She shrugged. "Now, I don't ever want to hear you say something like that again. Everything is going to be fine. Now, are these the only tests you've taken?"

"Yeah. I took one before I called you. Three more after." Ryder admitted. "I've been feeling sick for a while and then I realized I was late. I'm surprised I've been able to hide it from Spence."

"Can I ask why you hid it?"

"I don't know." Ryder sighed with a shake of her head. "I was just scared. Still am."

"That's completely reasonable." Nat stated. "Now, it's obvious with four positive tests, but do you want to see a doctor before you tell him?"

"Yeah. He texted earlier, they got called away on a case. Probably be a few days before he gets back and I _can not_ tell him over the phone." Ryder stressed that point.

"Alright. We could probably make one for tomorrow. I'll be coming with you of course." Natalie stated as she pulled out her phone.

"You don't have-"

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence." Nat cut her off. "I'm going to make you an appointment. Then we're going to watch tv and eat whatever you want. I know pregnant people crave the weirdest things." She mumbled, mostly to herself.

"Thank you." Ryder called out to her sincerely.

"What are friends for?"

* * *

Ryder knew without a doubt that she was pregnant but hearing it from a doctor made everything official. True to her word, Nat stayed by her side the entire time, being the supportive friend that she was.

When the kind, red-haired doctor asked if she wanted to get a sonogram she froze. She was further along than she realized. The lady had told her she wouldn't be able to see much, the baby was still too small but it would be there.

She thought about Spencer. She wanted him there through everything. The first sonogram included. But then she thought about telling him. Ryder had no idea how she was going to do that. Maybe if she had a picture of their unborn child it would be easier. So with that in mind, she agreed.

Like usual when Spencer is away, the couple talked over the phone. Ryder had worried he would be able to tell something was up but if he did, he didn't say anything. The case only went on for two more days before he let her know he was headed back. It was late when he got in, Ryder had cooked dinner and was waiting for him by the door.

"Hey, how was work?" Ryder asked as casually as possible while Spencer set his things down.

"You know, it was work." Spencer shrugged. He never liked talking about work at home but Ryder always asked as an invitation to if he wanted.

"Hope you're hungry." She said, moving into the kitchen. She'd told herself she was just going to come out with it as soon as he walked in but lost her nerve.

"Starving." Spencer nodded, moving to wrap his arms around her waist from behind. "I missed you."

"Missed you more." Ryder smiled, feeling the tension leave her body as she leaned into the man she loved. The man she loved. She loved Spencer, he was her everything. What did she have to be scared about if he was by her side? "I have to show you something." Twisting out of his arms, Ryder takes a step back and reaches into her back pocket.

It was such a simple picture. Black and white blurs but it meant so much. Gripping the folded paper, Ryder hands it over to her boyfriend, watching his face closely as he takes it, unfolds and stares down at it.

"Suprise," Ryder said weakly when he didn't react. "Spencer, please say something."

"You're pregnant." It wasn't a question. He knew exactly what he was looking at, he just needed to hear her say it.

"I'm pregnant." That's all he needed to hear.

Ryder let out a surprised squeal when Spencer surged forward, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her to him. "I take it that means you're excited?" She chuckled, her own arms encircling his neck.

"Excited?" Spencer laughed. "I've never been happier." He said, lifting Ryder off her feet to spin them around. "How far along are you?"

"Doctor said about six weeks, give or take. I found out the day you left. I wanted to wait and tell you in person."

"No, I'm glad you did." Spencer nodded. He couldn't imagine getting this news over the phone. "I'm going to be a dad." He said slowly, smiling as he heard the words.

"And I'm gonna be a mom." Ryder chuckled. The thought scared her before and it would in the future but right now she was just happy. With Spencer by her side, there was nothing to be scared about. "We're going to be parents."

* * *

"I think we should wait to tell anyone until after the first trimester." Ryder decided as she lay in bed with Spencer later that night.

"I agree."

"I should probably tell you, Natalie knows. She promised not to tell Steve." Ryder informed him. "Not going to lie, I freaked out a little. Just the thought of being a mom, you know? I'm not sure if I know how to do that."

"What do you mean?" Spencer questioned, sitting up on his elbow to look down at her.

"Most of my life I didn't have a mom. I met Eleanor when I was fifteen and she was a great mother but I only had five years with her. What if, what if I'm bad at it? I have no clue what I'm doing."

"No first parent does. This fear is natural." Spencer assured her. "You think I have any idea what I'm doing?" He chuckled. "We're going to mess up, it's part of learning. It's a part of being parents." Spencer didn't voice his worry about the increased possibility that his child could get schizophrenia. That was the last thing Ryder needed right now. "We'll learn together."

"Together." Ryder smiles up at him, lacing their fingers together when Spencer took her hand.

* * *

Not being able to tell anyone was killing Ryder. She was so excited she wanted to tell every person she saw. But it was best to wait, she agreed with that. Spencer had said he didn't mind if she told Tommy. He knew how close the siblings were and how hard it would be for Ryder to keep it from him.

She'd told him almost immediately. In person, of course. Ryder had called him to meet, asking to meet her and Spencer at their place for dinner. _"We're pregnant."_ They had ended up saying together.

Tommy was super happy for them, standing to hug his sister. He was excited to be an uncle, as he'd said. He couldn't stop talking about how he was going to spoil his niece or nephew. He also put in that Thomas was a great name if they were looking.

Ryder couldn't wait to tell Steve and the others. But when she wasn't thinking about that, she was freaking out over the fact that in eight months, give or take, she was going to be a mother. She was going to have a baby. A lot of the time she tried to keep these worries from Spencer because she knew he worried as well, but he always found out and talked her down. She felt selfish, Spencer was going to be a father, he was just as freaked out as her.

And with the wedding coming up soon, Ryder was busy a lot. She didn't mind, it kept her mind off things. On top of working and planning their wedding-with Spencer's help-they were organizing the nursery. They'd turn the guest room into the baby's room. Talk about getting a house happened. It was in the future but not now, they decided.

When Ryder felt she'd been stuck in her apartment for too long, she finished editing the last picture she needed to before calling her brother. Spencer was busy with work and she didn't want to wait anymore.

"Milkshakes." Ryder says the single word after Tommy picks up his phone.

"Yes, what about them?" The older man asked his sister with raised brows even if she couldn't see him.

"I want one." Ryder stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Like, now. Multiple, probably. Do you think Ms. Linda will mix all three flavors if I ask?"

"Probably." Tommy nodded with a shrug as Ryder grabbed her purse and jacket. "I can just bring some over, you know."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm antsy, I need to get out and we can just meet in the middle." Ryder told her brother as she locked her apartment door. "I swear I've been craving a milkshake for three days."

"I'm just scared for the day you start eating pickles and peanut butter together." He chuckled over the phone.

"I'm not sure if should be grossed out or go buy pickles and peanut butter." Ryder laughed. She hadn't had any weird cravings yet but imagined she would before long.

"Pregnant people." Tommy sighed with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm driving now so I have to go." Ryder informed her brother as she put her car into drive.

"Okay, see you soon, sis."

"Bye." Ryder mumbled before hanging up and tossing her phone into the passenger seat. She'd been craving a milkshake forever and finally got the time to go out and grab one, but once she thought about the sweet treat, she wanted something salty as well. Spencer was busy at work so she'd called Tommy to go out with her. She hadn't had much time with her brother recently anyway, it would be good.

Slowing to a stop when the light in front of her turns orange, Ryder sigh and turns on the radio. When the light is green, it feels like it only lasts for a few seconds, but when it's red, it seems to last minutes. But it was a big intersection, all the lights had to have the chance to be green.

Tapping her thumbs to the song, Ryder keeps her eyes on the light in front of her until it turns green, signaling for her to go. She always looked both ways, even if the light was green. Always. So why didn't she this time?

It felt weird. But when getting hit by a truck, that wasn't surprising. Ryder didn't even know what had happened. Her mind was clouded with confusion and surprise, shock following after. There was no time for the young woman to figure anything out before the darkness blurring her vision completely took over.

* * *

 **Again, I'm sorry. Don't be mad. I'll try to post again soon!**

 **Thanks for reading!** **I would really love to read what you guys think of this chapter.**

 **Sorry for any mistakes, feel free to point them out and I'll fix them.**

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	21. Empty Pain

**Sorry for the wait, especially with that ending last chapter.**

 **Thanks for reading and all the follows, favorites and reviews!**

 **It was pointed out to me that I called Ryder Charlie a few times and I apologize. A character in another story I've been writing is named Charlie. I just got mixed up. I think I fixed the mistakes. Thanks for letting me know, I can't believe I did that, I usually notice when I do.**

 **Words: 2,682**

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"Oh, come on, that was a good joke." Morgan says, throwing his arms out to the side after his joke got no reaction from Reid.

"It doesn't make sense." The young genius argued with a shrug as his team members laughed.

"Whatever." Derek waved him off, turning away. "At this point, you should write my best man speech for me."

"Yeah." Emily snorted. "Oh, man, I can't believe the team baby is getting married." The dark-haired woman joked. "You make me feel old."

"How do you think I feel?" David asked as he joined them. It was the end of the day, the team hadn't had a case and were just catching up on paperwork and other things that needed their attention.

Shaking his head at his team, Spencer turns away when his phone rings. He checks the caller ID before answering. It wasn't odd to get a call from his fiancée's brother but he was still confused for the reason for the call.

"Hey-" He tried to greet but was quickly cut off by the younger man.

"Spencer, it's Ryder." How could two simple words make it feel like your world was imploding? Two simple words. "She was in a car accident." Unbeknownst to Spencer, the entire team had gone quiet, they were staring at him worriedly. They heard his cut off greeting, only turned in curiosity to see their youngest member looking like he was about to faint. "I don't know much. I'm at the hospital, told them I'd call you. I'm waiting now."

"Where?" The single word barely pushed its way past his lips but when it did, Spencer snapped out of his frozen state and started collecting his things. It almost didn't register when Thomas told him which hospital they were at.

"Hey, kid, what's wrong?" Morgan asked when Spencer hung up his phone, marching towards the elevators.

"Ryder-" Clearing his throat when it cracked, Spencer tried again as he pushed the down arrow button harder than necessary. "She's at the hospital. Car accident."

"I'll drive." Moran didn't hesitate to follow Reid into the elevator. The team heard their youngest member and stood in shock, shouting that they'd meet them at the hospital just as the doors closed.

Spencer has experienced many long car rides in his life, some stretching on for many hours. But the young man would've sworn that the ride to the hospital was the longest one in his life. When Morgan stopped the car, he was out of the vehicle before it was even parked.

"She's okay." Were the first words out of Tommy's mouth as they entered the ER waiting room. "She's getting a CT now, they said she hit her head."

"What happened?" Spencer was barely able to ask. He felt relief hearing that she was okay but he was still worried. She hit her head, that could lead to many complications and any other injuries. And what about the baby?

"Another car hit her. She was coming to meet me." Guilt seeped into the young man's words. Thinking about his little sister hurt because of him, even if logically he knew it wasn't his fault.

"Do they know-?"

"Yeah, I told them." Tommy answered before Spencer could finish the question, already knowing what he was going to ask. "No ones told me anything about it though."

"About what?" Morgan couldn't stop himself from asking as he looked between the two younger men.

"Ryder's pregnant." Deep down Spencer felt bad for just telling him, Ryder had wanted to wait and tell everyone together but it didn't matter now. She could've-

"She'll be okay. They both will." Morgan quickly recovered from the news, guiding his friend to sit in a chair. "I'll go see if I can find anything out."

Resting his elbows on his knees, Spencer runs his hands through his hair. She was okay, the baby was okay, he just had to keep telling himself that. He felt like he was going to be sick. If anything happened to either one of them, he didn't know what he'd do. Getting that phone call from Thomas, his heart felt like it just disappeared, leaving nothing but emptiness and pain behind.

Being so distracted, Spencer didn't notice the others entering the room until a hand landed on his shoulder and he lifted his head. JJ and Emily were sitting on either side of him, solemn looks on their faces. They tried to smile for him but it didn't reach their eyes.

"Ryder Mathews family." A doctor said as he approached what felt like a lifetime later and everyone jumped to their feet, Spencer and Tommy at the front. "I'm Dr. Torres, would you like to speak somewhere more private?"

"No, here's fine." Tommy said before the man even had all the words out. He needed to know his sister was going to be okay.

"Okay." The doctor nodded. "Her left arm sustained a pretty bad break. We had to set it before putting it in the cast. Everything else is minor cuts and bruises. The hit to her head is what I was most concerned with. The CT scan did show some swelling but nothing major. I'd like to keep her overnight for observation, if everything looks good tomorrow she should be able to go home."

"And the baby?" Spencer sometimes wondered if doctors kept people in suspense on purpose.

"As soon as we were informed of Ms. Mathews' pregnancy, I called down our top OB/GYN. She was immediately checked over and I'm happy to say everything looks good, the baby is okay, very healthy."

"You can see her now." Dr. Torres said after everyone let out a giant breath of relief. "I'll have someone show you to her. You can all go in since it's a normal room, not the ICU, but it's late, I'm sorry to have to say that everyone who's not immediate family can't stay too long."

"Thank you." Spencer nodded, taking another deep breath as a nurse walked over, giving them a smile as she led everyone to Ryder's room.

"I called Steve, he and Natalie are on their way." Tommy informed Spener as they walked. "I'll call them again in a minute, update them."

"Yeah, thanks." Reid told him sincerely before everyone stopped in front of a door. The others stayed back, allowing Tom and Spencer to go in first.

Ryder was lying in bed, her head resting on the pillow as she looked out the window and into the dark night. It wasn't much of a view but she didn't feel like watching the old tv that played silently in the corner. She didn't want to be here, she hated hospitals with a passion.

The loud click signaled the door opening and Ryder turned her head to look over, smiling when she saw Spencer and her brother entering. "Hey." She greeted with a small smile. "I'm okay, I promise. Just a little sore." She cut in before they could say anything, the worried looks on their faces speaking volumes.

Both men approached her side, Spencer's hand softly coming up to cup her cheek, thumb hovering over the butterfly bandages on her forehead. His eyes closed and he left out a sigh, finally letting himself accept that she was really okay.

"Ry, I'm so sorry." Tommy whispered, his hand resting on his sister's knee.

"For what? You're not the one who hit me." Ryder told him, annoyed that he'd even think that this was his fault. "It was my decision to go out, no one else's. It was just an accident, they happen."

"And you," She started, turning her attention away from her brother and towards Spencer. "Stop running ever outcome that could have been through your head. Okay? I'm fine, we both are."

"I know." Spencer sighed, leaning into Ryder's touch as she brought her right hand over to rest on his cheek. "The teams here." He informed her after a moment of just letting himself be comforted by her. "And they know, about the baby."

"That's okay." Ryder said. "We were going to tell them soon anyway."

"Steve and Nat are on their way." Tommy told his sister, moving up to her side when Spencer moved around the bed so he could hold Ryder's hand that wasn't in a cast. "I was going to call them again after I made sure you were okay, let them know too."

"Thanks, Tommy." Ryder smiled up at her brother. "Don't keep them waiting, you know how Stevie gets."

"I'll be right back." He said, placing a kiss to her forehead, careful to avoid her injuries before stepping from the room and telling the others they could go in.

"Aww, sweetie." Penelope was the first to enter, none of the other team members tried to argue on the matter, they knew they'd lose if they did.

"I'm okay." Ryder was quick to assure as everyone gathered around her hospital bed, her grip on Spencer's hand tightening. "Thanks for coming, you guys didn't have too."

"Of course we did." Emily said from beside Spencer, placing her hand on Ryder's knee much like Thomas had.

"You're apart of our family." JJ told the younger woman, standing on Emily's other side. "We look after one another."

"She's right." Morgan nodded. Everyone had felt their hearts drop at the news of Ryder being in the hospital. And once news of her being pregnant reached their ears, they fell all over again. "We're glad you're okay. Both of you." He smiled at her from the foot of the bed. Now that he knew she was okay for sure, he could be happy and excited for them.

Ryder felt her lips pulling up in a big smile as she brought her hand, and in turn Spencer's, to rest on her stomach. "Sorry we didn't tell you guys sooner, we just wanted to wait a bit."

"No, we understand." JJ spoke, smiling down at the younger woman.

"I'm so happy for you guys." Garcia nearly squealed from Ryder's left side. "I'm spoiling this child and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Ryder smiled up at the bright blonde. She wanted to do more but she was tired, there was no energy left in her.

A knock sounded at the door and it opened before anyone could speak again, revealing Tommy with Steve and Natalie. The latter of who rushed to her friend's side faster than she'd ever moved before. "Oh my goodness, you're okay. You're okay, right? And the baby's okay?" The model fired off the questions in rapid succession, having taken the place Garcia stood when the woman moved back. But once she realized what she'd said, she clapped a hand over her mouth, unaware that the people in the room already knew.

"I'm fine, we both are." Ryder assured her friend as Steve joined his girlfriend's side. "And they know."

"Even me." Steve smiled down at her, in no way upset that he'd only just found out. She wanted to wait to tell everyone, he understood that. He was just relieved that his best friend was okay. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." Ryder told both her friends, hand still tightly clasped onto Spencer's. She couldn't bring herself to let go. "I'm sorry, um, you two haven't met everyone." Tommy might have met the team but Steve and Nat had yet to do so. "Guys, this is Steve and Natalie, my friends." She introduced, allowing everyone else to go around and say their names.

"It's good to meet you all." Steve nodded to everyone. "I just wish it was under different circumstances."

"That's on me, for not introducing you guys sooner." Ryder mumbled to the room, wanting to lift her hand but figured it was just easier not too. She was so grateful that they all came to check on her, but she was tired, hurt and just wanted to be alone with Spencer.

"That's okay." Nat spoke up, seeming to catch on to her friend's exhaustion. "You're okay, and that's what matters. Now, as much as we all want to stay, you need sleep."

"She's right." Emily nodded, smiling at Ryder when the younger woman looked up at her. "If you guys need anything, you just let us know, okay?" Ryder finally let go of Spencer hand then in order to return Emily's hug.

"Will do. Thank you." Pulling back, Emily makes room for JJ who also moved in to hug Ryder. "Thank you for coming."

"Of course."

Garcia was next then the others, all saying their goodbyes and wishing Ryder well. "We'll let you get some rest." Hotch says after everyone was still lingering around. Ryder had been trying to stifle her yawns since they got there. He knew everyone had been scared, he had been too, but he knew Ryder needed to be alone. And not just because she needed rest. He'd also be sure to let Reid knew not to show up for work for a while.

"I can stay if you want, but if not, I'll be back tomorrow." Tommy tells his sister as Spencer sees everyone else out.

"Thanks, Tommy. You go home, okay?" Ryder told her brother as she hugged him. "I love you."

"I love you, too, sis." Placing another kiss to her forehead, Tommy leaves his sisters side, and says a few words to Spencer before following the others out.  
When Spencer saw everyone out, he'd been sure to tell them thank you once more. He loved his team, his family, he appreciated them so much but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little glad they were gone. Ryder was so tired, he just wanted to make sure she was okay, really okay. He couldn't do that with everyone around.

"I just realized how horrible I must look." Ryder says when Spencer rejoins her side, grimacing at the thought of how she looked.

"You're beautiful." Spencer smiled, taking hold of her hand. "As always. Try to get some sleep?"

"Lay with me?" Ryder asked, face falling now that everyone was gone.

"Are you sure? I don't wan-" He was worried he'd hurt her, she'd said she was just sore and he was inclined to believe her but he didn't want to accidentally hurt her more.

"Spence, please." Tears filled her eyes, Ryder wasn't even sure why. Maybe it was just hormones. Maybe because she could've lost her unborn child, could've died herself. All of the above.

Seeing her like this made Spencer sick. He just wanted her to smile, he hated seeing her so sad, broken. Wasting no more time, Reid climbed, carefully, onto the small hospital bed, slipping his arms around Ryder as the tears started to fall.

They were quiet at first, just salty streams falling down her face. But the silent tears became louder as she sobbed into Spencer's chest. The thought that it was selfish to cry entered her mind at some point. She was fine, in the end. The worst of her injuries was a broken arm and a bump on her head. Her baby was fine, she'd most likely be out of the hospital the next day. So, why be so upset?

The question went unanswered. Spencer just held Ryder tightly to him, even after she'd cried herself to sleep.

* * *

 **Yay, their okay. Or are they?**

 **I'd had this planned the whole time, I just changed how it turned out when I actually wrote it.**

 **I already know things that are going to happen, but I love reading theories.**

 **Also have no medical knowledge, so yeah.**

 **Broooo, I went back to the earlier part of this story for some information and I hadn't realized I'd written a lot of this in first person lol.**

 **Thanks for reading! I'd love to know any thoughts on this chapter. And any mistakes pointed out would be greatly appreciated, I tried to find them all but it happens.**

 **I'll try to post again soon!**

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	22. An Old Face

**Ugh, I'm so, so sorry for the wait. Haven't been feeling motivated to write this story. I thank you guys for you patience!**

 **I've been trying to edit the old chapters because I went back and it's so bad. So many spelling errors and just bad things. I apologize for that.**

 **Thanks for following, favoriting, and reviewing!  
**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Words: 3,533**

* * *

"I want to leave."

"I know." Spencer sighs, rubbing Ryder's arm as she out in her hospital bed. "The doctor said if the swelling has gone down, we can go." He knew how much she hates hospitals. She'd been in them a few times as a kid, never for a good reason. Not that there were many good reasons to be in a hospital. And it was where her mother died. They only held bad memories.

"It's already noon." Ryder complained. She knew that many other patients had been here longer, were in worse conditions, but that didn't change how much she wanted to get out of there.

"I come bearing gifts." Tommy says then, walking into the room, struggling to hold three cups in his hands. "Coffee for you." Handing a cup over to Spencer, Tom then turns to his sister. "And tea for you."

"Thanks." The couple mumbled as one. Spencer sipped his drink but Ryder only held hers in her hands.

"Steve and Nat are coming over tonight and making dinner." Tommy informed them both. "No arguing allowed."

"Probably won't have too, I don't think we'll be out of here by tonight."

Tommy shared a look with Spencer over his sister's head with a sigh. He wasn't a fan of hospitals either, but it was different with Ryder. "Don't get gloomy on us, sis." It reminded him of when she was a teenager. Sometimes she'd be having a good day but then just suddenly be all sad. But she had a good reason then and she has a good reason now. Didn't mean he liked to see her like this.

"I'm sorry, Tommy." Ryder let out a big sigh. "I'm just tired and I want to go home."

Just then a knock sounded at the door before a nurse entered with a wheelchair. "Hello, I'm just here to take you to your scan. You feel up to getting in the chair?"

"Yes." Ryder agreed readily, already throwing the blankets off her legs, not bothering to argue when Tommy and Spencer hovered like the over-concerned people they were.

"Ready to get out of here, huh?" The nurse asked with a smile as she situated a blanket back over Ryder.

"I don't like it here." Ryder blurted out, her eyes going wide as she looked back at the nurse. "No offense."

"Oh, none taken." She chuckles, turning the chair towards the door before looking over her shoulder to speak to the men in the room. "I'll have her back as soon as I can."

"They seem like very nice young men." The nurse tried to make conversation as she pushed Ryder to the elevators.

"They are." Ryder mumbled. "It's my brother and fiancé." At the word, Ryder reached down for her ring finger. Her ring wasn't there, Spencer was holding onto it for her until they left.

"It's good that you have them, family is important."

"Yeah." Ryder mumbled in agreement, a hand lying on her stomach while she tries her best to relax in the chair as they entered an elevator.

* * *

"I'm perfectly fine, Spencer." Ryder reminds her fiancé for the umpteenth time. It's been a few days since she was released from the hospital, all of which Reid has taken off work to be with her. "The doctor said there was nothing to worry about."

"Doesn't mean I'm not going to." Spencer whispers to her, his arms wrapped around her waist, forehead resting against her own.

"I know." Ryder nods slightly, rubbing her thumb over his cheek. "And I love you for it. But you gotta go back to work eventually."

"I can always go tomorrow."

"That's what you said yesterday." Ryder reminds him with a fond smile. "And the day before that."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to get rid of me." Spencer jokes, giving her hip a light squeeze.

"It's a good thing you know better then." Ryder chuckles. "I'd keep you here forever if I could. But, sadly, I can't. We both have work and I can't get anything done with such a handsome distraction around."

"Oh, well when you put it like that." Spencer mumbles with a smile, leaning down to place a kiss to her lips. "You win." He says with a sigh. "I'll go to work."

"I love you." Ryder tells him in a sing-song voice. "I'll make dinner tonight."

"Okay. I love you." Spencer reluctantly pulls away then, turning to grab his bag and jacket from the kitchen table. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"I will, promise." Ryder nods while walking Spencer to the door. "See you later."

"Bye, love." Spencer says as he departs, planting one last kiss to Ryder's lips before walking out the door. Sighing into the now-empty apartment, Ryder goes to make tea before starting her work.

Dinner was ready when Spencer arrived home that night. The couple had a quiet night in and after eating, they cuddled on the couch to watch a movie, Spencer holding Ryder close to him. He reluctantly let her go when they got ready for bed, but once they'd settled under the sheets, he once again wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest. It had been days, but the fear he felt when he thought he'd lost her, almost did lose her, was still there. He felt if he let her go, she'd slip away from him. If that happened, Spencer didn't think he'd survive.

Ryder didn't mind Spencer's sudden clinginess. She understood it. It comforted her as well. She felt bad, guilty, for putting him through everything with the accident. Even if it wasn't her fault. She knew how he was, he worried so much, had lost so much. She didn't want him to have to go through any more pain in his life and she'd caused him just that.

Maybe that's why, with everything going on, it took a few days before it hit her. A delayed type of trauma. She'd thought she was okay, until the dreams started.

The truck that hit her didn't just injure her. It killed her and her unborn child, leaving Spencer behind all alone. Or it didn't kill her but she lost the baby and she never recovers. In some versions, Spencer leaves her.

It turns dark then. She'd been crying in her dream, crumpled on the floor of her kitchen, sobbing as Spencer walks out the door, unable to look at her because she'd killed his child.

A voice flowed into her mind. Soft, comforting, familiar. Spencer. He was there, he hadn't left her. She didn't realize she was awake until a light seeped behind her closed eyes and arms encircled her, lifting her into Spencer's lap as he spoke to her.

She was still crying. Fat tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Pained noises left her as she was rocked back and forth. Spencer's voice flowed into her ears, she was aware that he was talking but couldn't make out his words for a long time.

"I'm here, I'm here." Spencer repeated, switching between different comforting words as Ryder slowly calmed down. He'd awoken to her shifting in her sleep, whimpering and softly calling out his name before she started sobbing. It scared him at first, he'd realized she'd had a nightmare and quickly pulled her into his arms, trying to comfort her. "It's okay. We're okay. I've got you."

"You left me." Ryder chokes out, fisting Spencer's shirt tightly in her fist.

"I'm here, I promise." Spencer whispers into her hair, continuing to rock her back and forth. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you."

"I know." Ryder mumbles. She knew that, of course she did but her dream had been so realistic, it still scared her, shot chills down her spine if she thought about it. "I'm okay."

"It's okay if you're not." He tells her softly, hand rubbing up and down her arm. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Ryder mutters, her voice muffled as she buried her head in the crook of his neck, allowing her to breathe in his scent. It instantly brought comfort to her. His arms around her, holding her protectively as she breathes him in. "Just wanna stay like this."

And they did. Spencer continued to hold Ryder close to him, whispering comforting things to her until they both fell alseep.

* * *

When Eleanor adopted Ryder, the young teenager didn't believe it would last. She'd been moved from home to home her entire life, after having so many places not work out, she imagined Eleanor would've been the same. It took her a long time to see that it wasn't. Longer than Ryder today liked, she wished now that she had more time with her adoptive mother.

But she was grateful for what she did have. When Ryder got older and accepted her new family, the girl always imagined her mom would be there for big things, small things, important things. Like dress shopping. Wedding dress shopping to be more specific. She would've brought her fiancé home and surprised her. They would've celebrated with a simple but meaningful family dinner. And she'd be by her side when she picked out the perfect dress. She'd be there to see her walk down the aisle.

Ryder had cried that morning, when she remembered that the woman wouldn't be there. Her eyes had been red and puffy, she'd splashed cold water on her face before getting ready to go.

Eleanor might not be there, but she wasn't alone. Natalie and Steve picked her up. Ryder had given the man an out, but he claimed it was the best friends and man-of-honors duty to be there. It might be unconventional to have a male on the bride's side but Ryder thought, screw that, he was her best friend. He'd been there with her through everything, she wanted him by her side for one of the most important days of her life. Natalie would also be by her side as her maid of honor.

The three had then driven to meet Emily, JJ, and Penelope at the store. That word somehow felt off. Nat had made an appointment days before - because you needed an appointment to try on dresses. Ryder signed them in before they were allowed to look around at the bridesmaid dresses and the big, white, wedding gowns.

Yes, Ryder wished more than anything that her mother was there, helping her. But that didn't mean the smile on her face was so wide that it hurt her cheeks. She had some of the most important people to her by her side.

After a little goofing off and a few dresses picked later, everyone sans Ryder finds themselves sitting in chairs outside the changing room, waiting for the bride to be to appear in the first dress.

"Okay," Ryder calls out to everyone. "Honest opinions only."

"Of course, just get your cute little butt out here!" Penelope shouts, earning laughs from those around her.

"We wouldn't let you get a dress you don't look good in, if that's even possible, don't worry, sweetie." Nat tells her friend as the dark-haired girl peeks around the door at all of her friends.

"Okay." Ryder sighs before straightening up and walking out, twirling her dress as everyone lets out gasps. It was a simple dress, pearl white. A lace, sleeveless top with a deep V-neck. Around her waist was a tight silk band, the skirt following around her, stopping right past her feet.

"Did I die? Are you an angel?" Garcia asks and Ryder bends over laughing, her cheeks turning a deep red.

"That's stunning." JJ says as her eyes take in the dress.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, JJ." Emily nods her approval. "I kind of want to get married now."

Everyone laughs at the dark-haired agent before Ryder speaks again. "Well, I really like this one but I'm not sure, I picked a few more."

"Well, let's see them." Steve motions for her to go with a mock impatient wave.

Turning, Ryder lifts the dresses skirt to prevent her bare feet from stepping on it and makes her way back to the dressing room. Some of the dresses were complicated, there was a very nice employee who helped her if she needed.

The next dress wasn't as simple as the last. It was off the shoulder with lace sleeves to the elbow with a high neckline. The skirt flowed more than the previous one, and had a longer train, though it wasn't overly long.

It was truly a beautiful dress, everyone praised it like that last but Ryder still tried on more. One had an even longer train. One was backless. They were all beautiful, but Ryder new when she tried on the one she'd walk down the aisle in.

She smiles to herself in the changing room mirror, the lady who'd been helping her had a soft smile on her face as well. Ryder imagined it was her professional smile, she did do this al day, every day, after all. But her eyes did shine and Ryder couldn't stop herself from asking. "What do you think?"

"I think that's my favorite one so far." She informs the younger woman. Ryder thinks she's being honest, this wasn't the most expensive dress, if she was only trying to make nice to get her to buy things, she would've suggested one of those.

Smiling, Ryder casts the dress one last look before turning around. She didn't want to tell the others she liked this one best until she'd heard their opinions. And when she stepped out, she wasn't disappointed.

"Please tell me you're choosing that one." Nat says as she takes in her friend and the dress she's wearing. The thin straps over her shoulders were an invisible lace that led down into a V. The skirt was flowing with movement without being puffy. From the middle, leaf lace spread out and up, fading off before it went too far. It fit her, the model thinks.

"Well, I was leaning more towards this one, just wanted to know what you guys thought." Ryder shrugs, twirling the dresses skirt.

"Honey, you look like a goddess." Penelope gushes. If hit the woman then that this was the lady who was marrying one of her closest friends and she couldn't help but get emotional.

"Pen?" Ryder asks with wide eyes when she sees tears fill her eyes. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine." The blonde waves every one's concerned stares off. "I'm just so happy for you guys."

"Awe." Stepping forward, Ryder opens her arms and Garcia wastes no time accepting the younger woman's hug.

She gets the dress.

* * *

"Red or blue." Ryder mumbles to herself, flicking back and forth between the two pictures on her phone. She couldn't decide between the two for her bridesmaid dresses. After getting her dress, which needed a few alterations, the group had moved onto the more colorful dresses.

She'd found two different ones she liked. But couldn't decide. So instead she'd taken pictures of both so the group could go get food, everyone had been starving. She had time to decide, she reasons, her dress wouldn't be done for a little while anyway.

Looking up, Ryder takes a step forward as the line does. She'd parted ways from the others, it was getting late, they all had places to be and things to do. Now Ryder was craving chocolate. She wasn't sure if it was a pregnancy thing or a stress-relieving thing. All she knew was that she wanted a fudge brownie and planned on getting one. Maybe she'd get Spencer one too. He'd spent the day looking at tuxes with his groomsmen, he deserved a treat as well.

Stepping forward once more, Ryder orders her food and drink before stepping side to wait for it. Her phone screen lit up once more and Ryder continues looking between the dresses. She was going to drive herself mad.

"Ryder Matthews?" A voice asks but not the loud one of the barista behind the counter. This was a male voice, one close to her.

Lifting her head in confusion, Ryder looks to the man who had spoken, her furrowed brows shooting up when she meets vaguely familiar eyes. "Mark?" She asks, eyes wide. Mark Weston, aka the dude she dated for five seconds in college.

"Yeah." Mark chuckles, looking pleased she remembered him. He stood tall, skinny but buff at the same time. A drink sat in his left hand and a smile sat firmly on his thin lips. "Wow, how longs it been? I can't believe I ran into you."

"Uh, yeah." Ryder says with a chuckle, the noise coming off more forced than she had meant for it too. She held no ill will towards him, they'd gone on a few dates before she broke it off as kindly as she could. He'd been upset but they'd been so close to graduating, she was able to leave and she never looked back. "It's uh, small world, I guess."

"Yeah." He nods and Ryder purses her lips. "So how you been?"

"Uh, good." Ryder shrugs. He seemed to be over the whole getting dumped thing, she didn't need to be so nervous. "You know, love my job. Everything's good."

"Cool, cool." He continues to nod as she talks. "Yeah, I uh, I'm doing good too. You know, great job, friends. Life's good."

"Oh, well, I'm happy for you." Ryder smiles a little more genuinely at him this time.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks." Mark says. He seems confident and nervous at the same time. Ryder wasn't sure what to make of him. "How about we sit, catch up."

"Um," Ryder faulters. He seemed nice enough but somewhere not so deep inside, she just didn't want to be in his company. "I would love to," She's definitely leid more convincingly before. "But I have to go, I'm meeting my fiancé."

"Well," Mark turns his head to the side. He tried not to look bothered, Ryder could tell but he clenched his jaw in between words and his hand tightened just slighting on the cup in his hand. She did live with a profiler, after all, it's hard not to pick up on things. "You're engaged to him, I'm sure you guys get plenty of time together. What're a few minutes with an old friend."

Wow, okay, Ryder thinks, trying her best to keep her face neutral. "Mark, I really don't mean to be rude, but I need to go." Her gut was telling her this was the right move, she planned on listening to it. "It was nice to see you."

Carefully moving past him, Ryder collects her things and ducts out of the store before he can protest any further. Luckily the little shop wasn't far from home and she makes it back in record time. And if she looked over her shoulder a few times, no one needs to know.

"Hey, babe, you almost home?" Ryder says into her phone after checking that the door was locked behind her.

"Yeah, sorry, Morgan says you can blame him for me being late." Come Spencer's answer, his voice immediately calming Ryder.

"That's okay." She chuckles. "I just got home, and I picked up brownies."

"Oh, I love you."

Full-on laughing, Ryder makes her way down the hall and into her bedroom to change into more comfortable clothes. "I'm too tired to cook, want to order in?"

"Yeah, I'll call on my way. Pizza with peppers?"

"You know me so well." Ryder smiles, happiness filling her body at the simple gesture. "So, how was tux shopping?"

"Went good. How was dress shopping?"

"Well, I'm proud to say, I found the one." Ryder squeals in excitement, jumping onto her bed. "It has to be altered slightly but it'll be done with plenty of time to spare for the wedding. But you can't see it until then."

"Of course not." Spencer nods affectionately. "Talk when I get home, love you."

"Love you." Ryder grins before pulling the phone away from her ear.

Spencer arrives home just as Ryder is climbing out of the shower. She dresses in one of his T-shirts and pajama shorts. "How was your day?" She asks when she sees him, not stopping until she was standing in his arms.

"Long." Spencer responds with a long sigh, wrapping his arms around his fiancée. "How about you, you doing okay? Any more headaches?"

"No, no, just sore feet." Ryder grumbles but still smiles. "I just hope my ankles don't start swelling until after the wedding."

"You'll be beautiful no matter what." Spencer tells her before placing a kiss to her lips.

"If my feet swell, I'm walking down the aisle barefoot."

"I see no problem with that." Spencer chuckles as there's a knock at the door. "I'll get it."

"I will get drinks and tums for my inevitable heartburn."

The rest of the night was spent with the couple cuddled on the couch watching tv, happy in each other's arms.

* * *

 **Oh, hi, Mark. (Anyone?)**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, thanks for reading! I'm trying my best to write more but my brain can't focus on one thing for very long! It's a problem.**

 **Also, I suck as describing dresses, sorry.**

 **Side Note - Someone mentioned to me on another story that they weren't good at leaving reviews and I just wanted to say that your reviews mean everything to me. A review can be as simple as a heart to eight paragraphs and I read every one and every single word. I cherish all of them. They make me see why I'm writing. When I feel bad about my story I'll come back and reread all those amazing reviews and it encourages me to continue writing. Thank you so much to those who take the time to write something positive about my writing! You're the reason I'm able to keep going**

 **Hope everyone is staying safe, until next time.**

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	23. Flowers

**Sorry for the wait.** **I wasn't going to post this until** **I wrote a little more but I just can't keep you guys waiting any longer. Especially now. And I barely proof read this, so I apologize for the mistakes.**

 **Thanks for following, favoriting and reviewing! Means a lot. If anything is confusing, let me know cause I'm tired and quiet possible messed some stuff up. I'm a horrible editor among other things. Sorry.**

 **Also, I'm writing another CM story, not going to post it until it's finished. I've got like, fifteen thousand words? I think? More or less. I don't have a summary yet but when I post it, I'd love it if you guys give it a read. I'll let you know when it's up.**

 **Another also, the reviews on here are like delayed? Or something. Sometimes it'll tell me I have one but won't let me see it or I won't get it for days after. I don't know what's up with that, just thought I'd put it out there.**

 **Anyway, please enjoy!**

 **Words: 4,476**

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"I'm so over this." Ryder groans, her throat, and knees aching as she sits on the bathroom floor, the only comfort coming from the warm hand rubbing up and down her back.

"I'm sorry, love." Spencer mumbles, placing a kiss on Ryder's temple.

"Uh, don't, I'm disgusting." Ryder weakly waves him away, wiping her mouth with the towel in her right hand.

"No, you're not." Spencer assures her, hand never leaving her back. "Morning sickness usually stops after the first trimester."

"That's like what? Twenty weeks?" Ryder asks rhetorically. "That's at least ten more weeks of this."

"I'll get you some ginger ale, maybe some tea, and saltines should help with the nausea."

"I'd kiss you but I got vomit mouth. It's not very attractive."

"You're still the most beautiful woman in the world."

"You're so cheesy." Ryder jokes, smiling up at him. "Let me brush my teeth and then you can have that kiss."

"Are you okay for me to go start breakfast?" Spencer asks as he helps Ryder to her feet.

"Yeah, not sure how much I'll be able to eat, though." Ryder reminds him as she puts toothpaste onto her toothbrush, looking in the mirror to meet his eyes.

"I'll make you extra eggs, that should be easy on your stomach, but you have to eat something."

"Yes, doctor." Huffing, Spencer shakes his head with a fond smile and leaves Ryder to go start cooking.

"Oh, no, I just had a thought." Ryder states as she enters the kitchen.

"What?" Spencer hums, turning to her with furrowed brows.

"My fingers might swell, I won't be able to wear my ring." She tells him, twisting her engagement ring around on her finger.

Chuckling, Spencer shakes his head and moves to place a kiss on Ryder's lips. "It won't be forever."

"I know." She sighs. "I just like wearing it, letting people know that I'm going to marry the greatest guy ever."

"How do you think I feel?" Reid jokes. "I don't get a ring until after the wedding."

"Oh, I can get you a ring." Ryder says with mock seriousness, wrapping her arms around Spencer's waist from behind, leaning her head between his shoulder blades. "You know, if you really want one."

Spencer only laughs, watching the food on the stove in front of him. "He hasn't answered, has he?"

"No." Spencer mumbles softly, focusing on Ryder's fingers as they rub circles on his back.

"I'm sure he will." Ryder tries to assure him but her voice sounds weak even to herself. "I'm sorry, babe."

"There's still time, right?"

"Plenty of time." Ryder nods, turning Spencer around to face her. "Spence, if Gideon wants to come to the wedding, he will. And I really, really hope he does. But it's not your fault if he doesn't, okay? And I know it's not that simple but with this and your father...our wedding is supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives. I don't want anything to hinder that."

"I'm sorry." Spencer nods, dropping his forehead onto hers.

"No, don't be sorry." Ryder runs her thumb over his cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Let's focus on something else. Like the sonogram appointment."

"Yeah, you're right." Spencer smiles, trying to forget about everything else besides the woman in his arms. "But first, you need to eat."

* * *

"What about pictures?"

Humming, Ryder doesn't bother looking up from her camera to answer Steve's question. "I've asked Jason and Lora to do photos. Spence is fine with whatever, says it's more my field anyway. You're welcome to help, but I don't want that to be your sole focus."

"Oh, I'm definitely bringing my camera." Steve laughs, leaning against the brick wall next to him as Ryder adjusts her devices settings.

"Hey! I decided on the bridesmaid dresses." Ryder whips her head up, eyes wide like her smile as she looks over to her friend.

"Well, don't keep me waiting."

"After much debate, the red won."

"Good, I've always looked better in red."

Shaking her head, Ryder laughs. "It's just your bow tie that's going to be red."

"The smallest detail, Ry, the smallest."

"Uh-huh." Ryder rolls her eyes. "You get that window shot? Mine just looks off."

"Don't tell me you're losing your touch." Steve mumbles as he moves to stand behind Ryder, looking over her shoulder to the camera screen. "I think your exposure was off."

"Yeah." Ryder sighs, mentally hitting herself for the rookie mistake. "It's fine, I can probably save it in editing. I'll just blame it on the cast." She says, lifting her left arm that was still wrapped in a heavy cast. It as annoying, heavy, and her arm itched under it. She just hoped it would be off before the wedding. "Let's just go get food."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, you will never guess who I ran into the other day." Ryder says across the table to Steve once they've been seated. "Mark."

Eyebrows shooting up, Steve looks into his friend's eyes with a surprised expretion. "Guy you dated in college, Mark? Creepy Mark. Mark Weston? That Mark?"

"No, the other Mark we know." Ryder shoots back sarcastically.

"Wow, I haven't thought about him in forever." Steve continues, ignoring his friend jab. "What's he like now?"

"Honestly? I didn't stay long enough to find out." Ryder blows out a breath, lifting her eyebrows.

"I don't blame you. I mean, he was fine junior and most of senior year, but after you guys started going out, he just..."

"Became super weird." Ryder fills in when Steve trails off. "I mean yeah, as you said, he was fine when he first came to school. Not that I talked to him a lot, but then after he asked me out...I don't know. It's like he became a different person."

"Well, here's to never seeing him again." Steve raises his glass of water to clink together with Ryder's.

"Yes, please."

"You tell Spencer?" Ryder only shrugs and shakes her head, causing Steve to look at her like she was crazy. "Um, and why not?"

"Well, by the time he'd gotten hope, I had forgotten. Then I just didn't see the point." She shrugs again. "I guess I just don't see the big deal."

Still looking like he didn't agree, Steve shakes his head. "You do you, I guess."

"Eh, it's not like I'll ever see him again."

"Let's hope."

* * *

Unblinking eyes stare at the lit tv screen, an unfocused mind not taking it in as the scenes change. Ryder had woken with a start and moved to the living room. Spencer needed his sleep and she didn't want to wake him.

She thought she might doze off on the couch when a voice startles her. "Why are you up?" Rubbing his eyes, Spencer drags his feet over to the couch.

"Just woke up, couldn't go back to sleep." Ryder keeps her voice soft, looking over as Spencer sits next to her. "I didn't want to wake you."

"The dreams again?"

"Oh, it's not so bad." Ryder tries to wave off his concern.

"They're keeping you up." Spencer says, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side. "You need to sleep. Especially now. You can tell me about them."

"Why? I see myself or our child dying every time I close my eyes. I see you leaving me. Why would I want to talk about it on top of that?" She hadn't meant to snap, but she was tired and her head hurt. "I'm sorry, I blame that on the hormones."

"It's okay." Spencer holds her tighter. "Those will get worse before they get better."

"Yay," Ryder says unenthusiastically. "I apologize now. For any future yelling or crying. Whatever else."

"You are growing a human being inside you." Spencer shrugs. "I think you have the right to do those things."

"I will not argue that fact." Ryder mumbles as a ringing sounds from down the hall. Spencer's head immediately falls back onto the couch with a groan. "Crime waits for no one, huh?"

"I am so sorry." Spencer apologizes, placing a kiss to Ryder's head before he jumps to his feet to answer his phone. He returns only minutes later, dressed for word, hair still tousled from sleep.

"It's okay." Ryder whispers when he looks at her with sad, apologetic eyes. "I know it's not your fault." She'd known it would be like this from the start, she'd excepted it a long time ago. But that doesn't mean she has to like it.

"I'll call you later, okay? Maybe drink some tea, it'll help you sleep." Spencer suggests, sitting back on the couch beside Ryder.

"Yeah, I'll try." Ryder mumbles, pursing her lips before kissing Spencer. "Stay safe. I love you."

"Love you." Spencer places one more kiss to Ryder's lips before standing once more, taking his warmth with him. With a resigned sigh, Ryder watches Spencer go until the door shuts behind him.

* * *

Ryder tried, she really did, to get some more sleep after Spencer left. She made some tea per his suggestion. But ended up just tossing and turning. It wasn't just the dreams, but she knew he was at work and she always worried something would happen.

Rubbing her fingers over the circles under her eyes, Ryder sighs just as her phone rings. "Hey?"

" _What's up girly_?" Natalie's voice filters through the speaker.

"Um, not much, what's up with you?" Ryder questions her friend as she leaves the bathroom, walking into the kitchen.

" _Oh, nothing, was just close by, thought I'd bring you something_." Nat shrugs. " _What are you in the mood for_?"

"Hm..." Ryder trails off, scrunching up her face in thought. "Salted caramel."

" _Ooh, sounds goods_." Nat hums. " _Alright, hun, I'll be there soon_."

"Okay, thanks, Nat." Ryder mumbles before hanging up the phone. She would gladly accept the company, she was feeling alone right now. She didn't blame Spencer for leaving, he had to, it was his job, he was saving people. But, as selfish as it sounds, that didn't make Ryder feel any better that he wasn't there.

A knock at the door had Ryder going over to open it. She didn't bother looking through the peephole, thinking it was Nat, but when she opened the door, she got a face full of flowers instead. "You Ryder Mathews?" The man behind the bouquet of aster flowers asks, peeking around to look at her.

"Uh, yes." Ryder answers hesitantly, furrowing her brows.

"Alright, these are for you." He says, handing the colorful arrangement over.

"Oh, thanks." Ryder takes the flowers, watching the delivery boys back as he walks away before taking the flowers and placing them on the table. She immediately thinks they're from Spencer, it's not the first time he's sent her flowers, especially after rushing off on a case like he just had. Although there was no note, which wasn't suspicious, but Spencer usually included one with a poem or something.

Shrugging, Ryder is once again called to the door by a knock. "I should give you a key." She tells Nat when she allows the woman entrance.

"I would gladly accept it." Natalie smiles as she walks in, a bag in one hand, drinks in the other. "Alright, got your caramel and some fudge, looks great."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" Nat questions her suddenly serious friend, her brows furrowing.

"Eat this crap and keep your perfect figure." Ryder chuckles, gesturing to the sugary food and Natalie's frame.

"Okay, don't say that like you don't look just as good."

"Not for much longer." Ryder mumbles, placing a hand over her stomach.

"You'll be just as beautiful when you're the size of a house, don't worry." Nat shrugs and Ryder laughs. "And it's not forever. Once your son or daughter is out in the real world, you can resume your regular workouts."

"I run, it might take a little more than that." Ryder takes the offered treat from her friend as the woman walks around the counter for napkins.

"Those are beautiful." The model observes, nodding towards the flowers when Ryder turns to her. "What did Spencer do?"

"Nothing." Ryder chuckles at her friend. "Just had to rush off on a case late last night. He always feels bad about doing that."

"Aw, sweet." Nat joins her friend as they walk to the couch. "Steve always gets me flowers when he's done something."

"Oh, like?"

"If he's late for dinner." Nat shrugs as she lists off things. "Has to cancel a date. Now, we don't fight, let's get that straight, but we argue. He'll always get me flowers and we make up."

"Doesn't really surprise me." Ryder smiles. "You should've seen him in college. Despite acting like this big player, which he had everyone convinced he was, he was sweet, never really dated much. I think he had two girlfriends."

"Did he ever ask you out?"

"How do you think we met?" Ryder asks, bending over as she and Natalie laugh. "No, no, never. It was right off the bat, my freshman year, he was a sophomore. I don't know, he just kind of took me under his wing, I guess you could say. We've been best friends ever since."

"Please tell me you have pictures of him from then." Nat pleads when the thought hits her, looking at Ryder with hopeful eyes.

"You bet your cute little butt, I do." Ryder nods before pushing off the couch and rushing back to her room. Of course, she had many pictures of her best friend. They'd both been into photography and often did photoshoots with each other for practice. "Alright, this is just one album."

"Oh goodness, how many do you have?"

"That's not important." Ryder dodges, opening the book up and pointing to the first picture. Steve was a little skinnier, his hair was longer. He kept his facial hair shaved back then as opposed to the stubble he keeps now. "Alright, these are not my best works but we're not here to judge that."

"Aww, look." Nat points down at a photo of Steve giving the camera a serious face. "His hair, it's so long."

"Yeah, he rocked the man bun for a bit there. He loved it so much back then, but he'd kill me if he knew I was showing you these now though."

"Oh, well, you're crazy if you think I'm not keeping one of these. Talk about blackmail gold." Nat chuckles as she turns the page.

"He'll never be late to another date again." Ryder laughs along with her friend as they continue to look through the photos. "Alright, find something to watch? I gotta pee."

"Aye aye captain." Grabbing the remote, Nat turns on the tv and looks through the movies until Ryder returns. "I've seen everything." She states boredly, punctuating each word with a hit of the arrow button.

"We can rewatch something." Ryder suggests before her head snaps up. "Ferris Bueller's Day Off."

"Really?"

"I love that movie."

"Yeah." Nat nods, then hesitantly adds. "Me too."

"Yes!"

* * *

"Yes, I'll let you know." Ryder speaks into her phone, eye forward as she walks down the sidewalk. "Bye, Roy." Hanging up, the young woman slips her phone into her pocket before continuing on her way. With Spencer gone and no work that day, she's decided to run any errands she could.

She'd handled flowers for the wedding earlier that morning. It wasn't going to be a big wedding, but she wanted it to be nice. A friend of a friend makes wedding cakes, she was going to check up on that later. Now, she had just left a baby store. Sure it was still early but when she walked by, she couldn't help herself. There were so many things, things she would need soon. But they didn't even know the baby's gender yet, she didn't want to buy anything too soon.

Spencer has been so busy that they hadn't done more than the simple goodnight and good morning text. Ryder missed him already but she understood he had to focus on work. People could literally die if he doesn't. So, she distracts herself with things. Like a cheese croissant.

As soon as the thought hits her, Ryder makes her way to a nearby cafe that she knows has them. It might not be a pregnancy thing, she's not sure, but that's what she'll blame it on.

The smells overwhelm her as soon as she opens a door. Voices of the other patrons reach her ears and she takes her place behind an older gentleman, waiting patiently until she could order.

Despite the many voices, the little shop wasn't overly busy and Ryder gets her food quickly and moves to a table in the corner, pulling out her phone to go through her shopping list while she eats.

"Funny seeing you here." The voice has Ryder's head snapping up, brown eyes meeting blue.

It takes her a second to answer, eyes slightly wide as she stares at the man in front of her. "Oh, hi, Mark." Out of all the places, they happened to be in the same one at the same time? Ryder thinks while cursing her luck.

"Mind if I sit?" Mark asks while gesturing to the seat, only he takes it before she can answer, settling across from her. "How've you been?"

"You mean since I saw you last week?" She can't help but ask. "Not much has changed." Her morning sickness was worse but she wasn't about to tell him that.

Mark only chuckles at her response, the only tell that he minds her sarcastic remark is the slightest clench of his jaw. "You uh, got plans today?"

"Um, you know, errands." Ryder shrugs, shifting in her seat. She doesn't know why he makes her so uncomfortable, he was being civil. Still, her gut felt weird. But maybe that was related to the fact that she was growing a human inside of her. "Normal stuff."

"Well, that can't have you busy all day." He says, and for the first time, Ryder notices he has no drink or anything. Maybe he saw her before he'd ordered. "We should grab lunch together. Since we didn't get to catch up the other day."

"Um," Ryder hesitates. She wants to say no but it feels rude.

"Oh, come on," Mark continues when she falls silent. "It's just lunch and you don't have to run off to your fiancé this time." He says it with a laugh but Ryder doesn't like the way he said it or the way his tone changes at the word fiancé. It was the smallest thing, she wouldn't have caught it a few years ago but she did now. But she shrugs it off anyway.

Opening her mouth, Ryder closes it before she can speak. She had about agreed, almost did, but the words were too hard to force out. Something inside her was telling her to getaway. "I appreciate the offer, Mark, but I'm going to have to decline." She stands as she tells him, ready to leave.

"You don't have too." Mark tells her, his voice just slightly less cheery. "Come on, Ry," She's always loved that nickname, but not from him. "It's just lunch."

"I said no, Mark." Ryder turns to him, making her words loud and clear.

"Hey, is this guy bothering you?" A new voice asks as a figure appears at Ryder's side and she looks up to see an unfamiliar man.

She almost shakes his question off, not wanting to bother anyone, make a big scene but with one glance back at Mark, she opens her mouth with a single word. "Yes."

"Hey, man, why don't you back off." The stranger says, stepping forward as someone else appears on Ryder's other side. A woman this time, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"We were just talking." Mark says, raising his hands slightly.

"That's not what it sounded like to me." The stranger stands his ground, looking over at Mark, standing eye to eye with him. "Alright, she doesn't want to talk to you so leave."

"Are you okay?" The woman asks, and Ryder turns to her, nodding her head. She feels something inside her that makes her want to cry. These complete strangers were going out of their way to help her. Once again, Ryder blames that on her hormones.

"Who are you to say what she wants?" Mark asks the man, his voice so quiet Ryder almost misses it. "You don't know her like I do." Furrowing her brows, Ryder looks away from the woman next to her and at Mark. She wasn't sure why, but those words didn't sit well with her. "Fine, I'm going." He suddenly says, Ryder having missed what else was said. She watches him go but turns away when he looks over his shoulder to look at her.

"You sure you're okay?" The woman asks again, gaining Ryder's attention. "Do you want to call someone?"

"No, no." She shakes her head. "I'm okay. Thank you, for that." She looks up to the stranger who had spoken to Mark.

"No problem." The man shakes his head, taking his place beside the shorter woman. His wife, if the matching rings on their fingers are anything to go by. "Guys a real piece of work. You know him?"

"Uh, a long time ago." Ryder tells them quietly, throwing a glance over her shoulder to the door.

"You sure you're gonna be okay, sweetie?" The woman asks, her voice sounding genuinely worried.

"Yes, thank you, again." Ryder nods to them, offering a small smile. "I think I'm just gonna head home."

"Alright, be safe."

"Thank you." Ryder nods before turning to the exit. She looks around when her feet hit the sidewalk and when she sees no one familiar, she starts in the direction of home. The apartment isn't far, but she was starting to wish she'd driven. Even after she gets back without further incident.

Closing the door behind her, Ryder locks it and turns around, only to stop short when her eyes land on the table. Spencer had been busy during this case but Ryder doesn't think about that as she pulls out her phone, lifting it to her ear to listen to it ring.

" _You don't know her like I do_." The words ring in her head as she waits impatiently. Maybe she was overreacting. But if dating Spencer for as long as she has, it's taught her to listen to her instincts.

"Ryder? Is something wrong?" It took Spencer longer than normal to answer, Ryder things it's because he was in the middle of something, but he'll always answer.

"Did you send me flowers?" She questions, eyebrows furrowed as she continues to stare at the vase on the table.

"What?" Spencer asks, confused. He'd answered his phone as quickly as he could but he'd been talking through things with the team and had to excuse himself first. No way he wasn't going to answer his pregnant fiancée's call, she never calls him on a case without texting first.

"Spencer, did you send me flowers or not?" Ryder repeats the question, her mind whirling.

"No, why?" Spencer shakes his head, even more confused. "Ryder?" She's got him worried now. Why is this so important to her? Why does she sound like this? "Ryder, is something wrong."

"Um," Ryder finally snaps out of it. "No, no, I don't think so. I'm sure it's nothing."

"Doesn't sound like nothing." Spencer tells her, glancing over his shoulder and through the glass doors as the team still discussing the case.

"I-I don't know." Ryder tells him truthfully. She doesn't lie to him. Maybe doesn't tell him everything, but she won't lie. "I'm fine. Don't worry, it's nothing big. We can talk when you get home, yeah?"

"You sure?" Spencer catches Hotch's eyes and the man gives him a questioning look to which Reid only shakes his head with a small shrug. "If it's something, I can-"

"No," Ryder cuts him off with a small laugh. "It's no big deal, I overreacted. Just focus on work so you can come home."

"Call me if you need anything." He would stay longer, talk to her, figure out what has her acting like this but he really needs to get back to the team.

"I will. And I'll call you tonight?"

"Yeah, tonight." Spencer nods, slowly inching his way back to the room he was working in.

"Love you."

"Love you."

Taking the phone away from her ear, Ryder looks over at the flowers sitting on her table and hesitantly approaches them. "They're just flowers." She says aloud to herself. "And now I'm talking to myself. Great."

Reaching out, Ryder picks up the flowers and carries the to the door, setting them next to it. She didn't know where they came from, not really. Spencer said they weren't from him but that didn't mean they weren't from someone else. Tommy or Steve. Why they would send them randomly without telling her, she doesn't know. But that doesn't mean...Mark couldn't have sent them, right? He doesn't know where she lives.

Blowing a loud sigh through her mouth, Ryder places her hands on her hips and looks around. She was just being paranoid. The apartment always felt empty without Spencer ever since he started staying with her. She wasn't sure which one of those things makes her call Tommy to stay the night with her.

* * *

 **Mark needs to mind his own business and stop being so creepy.**

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading! Sorry for all the mistakes ^^**

* * *

'-'


	24. Family Interactions

**Alright, another chapter. Here we go.**

 **The new story I'm writing is coming along. The working name is The Bartender. But that's not set in stone, just thought I'd mention it. Hope you guys will give it a read when it's finished and posted, cause I'm not posting until I'm done. It will be shorter than this story but different. I'm nervouse no one will like it. Okay, moving on, ignore my rambling.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Words: 4,078**

* * *

Ryder had tried to downplay it, not wanting to worry anyone. Worry Spencer. She knew how he was, how he thinks. It wasn't a big deal, she tried to explain. Just someone hung up on something that happened in the past. She had thought as much herself, but every time she did, she thinks back to the flowers. No one she knows had sent them, she'd been paranoid enough to check. So who were they from?

"I've only seen him twice." Ryder tries to calm Spencer with the information but he just looks at her, like that means nothing. "And in very public places. I mean, he's just sour about what happened." She had thought he was over it, it had been a couple of years now and they hadn't even dated that long. She didn't see how he couldn't be over it.

"I don't like it." Spencer shakes his head, well aware of how normal people can seem when lying just under the surface could be something monstrous.

"Me either." Ryder sighs, walking over to sit on the bed next to him. "And sure, I don't like him, he's an ass, but I'm not to worried."

"That doesn't make me feel better." He tells her, placing one leg on the bed when he turns to face her.

"Yeah," Ryder nods, it didn't make her feel better either. But she didn't want him to know that, he'd only worry more. "I'll keep an eye out. He hasn't exactly done anything illegal."

"You still have your gun?"

"Spence, I don't think-"

"Do you?" Reid cuts her off, staring straight into her eyes. He could even stand the thought of something happening to her. Ryder has carried a gun in her purse since meeting him. There was also one in the nightstand.

"Yes." Ryder nods, a little pit of dread filling her gut at the thought of using the weapon. She has nothing against guns, she prefers having one with her, it makes her feel safer. Doesn't mean she wants to use it. "I always have it."

"I'm sorry." Spencer sighs, leaning his head onto her shoulder. "I'm just worried."

"I know." Ryder nods while running her fingers through his hair. "I'll try to take someone with me when I go out for a little while, okay?" It would make her feel better as much as him.

"Yeah." Spencer mumbles, lifting his head just enough to connect his lips with hers. "I'll kick his ass, you know, if he comes near you again."

Chuckling, Ryder nods and cups his cheek with her good hand. "Yeah, I know. And I love you for it. Maybe we should get a dog."

Snorting, Spencer nods. "Maybe."

"I'll hold you to that." Ryder says, pointing to him before holding up her left arm, looking down at her cast. "Have a doctor's appointment for this tomorrow. I want it off before the wedding."

"Yeah," Spencer nods, taking her castes arm gently in his own. "The bone won't be healed but you might be able to go with just a brace."

"Well, it's better than this thing." She grumbles. "It itches." The cast was removable but it was difficult to do and then put by on. She's only done it once with Spencer's help to let her arm breath and clean it. "I broke my shoulder once but I just worse a sling, no cast." That hadn't been fun, she wasn't sure if this was worse or not. Shirts were impossible to put on with her shoulder, she had to wear buttons ups until it healed and her entire arm ached from not being able to stretch it. It hadn't inched like this though.

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault." Ryder thinks shes said that more in her time knowing Spencer than her entire life. "Let's change the subject. How long until we find out the baby's gender and are we going to wait?" They hadn't yet decided if they were going to wait to find out, have the doctor tell them, or do some kind of gender reveal. Although Ryder was leaning more towards the second option.

"It'll be a few more weeks." He didn't want to give her a specific number. He knew sometimes they could tell a little earlier and sometimes it was hard to see later on, he didn't want to get her hopes up. He knew she was excited. "We'll have her tell us as soon as we can."

"Really?" She asks, perking up with a big smile. He knew she really wanted to know and he wouldn't be able to look at the ultrasound without knowing anyway. And he was excited as well, so excited just thinking about it makes his body buzz. He couldn't wait to know, decorate the nursery, buy clothes, tell people. Names. They'd have to pick a name.

"Really." Spencer nods, chuckling when Ryder throws her arms around his neck.

"I think I'm starting to show." She says after pulling away, straightening her back and pulling her shirt up to show her stomach.

"Maybe." Reid shrugs, it was a little early but it wasn't necessarily impossible. "Could just be bloating." He adds casually with a shrug, holding his hands up when Ryder's head snaps up, her eyes narrowed at him. "I'm just saying, it's natural. And expected."

"Yeah, yeah," She mumbles, not really upset. She was scared, worried, all of those things but she was excited to start showing. "Hopefully my dress won't need any last-minute altering."

"It'll be fine." Spencer says, pulling her towards him. "Everything will be."

"Yeah, you're right." Ryder nods. "Like always."

* * *

"Look how cute!" Penelope squeals, holding up a tiny pair of baby shoes. "They're just like Reids'."

"I have to get them." Ryder shakes her head and takes the offered black, converse shoes. They were so small, fit right in her hand. "They'll work for a boy or a girl." She says, looking down at her own shoes. They were converse but they only reached her ankles and they were yellow.

"Can you imagine," Emily appears with JJ, both women holding something baby related. "Reid holding his son or daughter, both wearing they're matching shoes."

"Oh, there will be plenty of pictures." Ryder tells her. "Trust me. I can hardly wait and this morning sickness is getting old."

"Have you tried seasick wristbands?" JJ asks, pointing a finger at her. "They helped when I was pregnant with Henry."

"I will now." Ryder nods. "Thanks for the tip."

"I have plenty more, don't worry." JJ chuckles, placing a little onesie back on the shelf. "Especially with stuff like car seats. The one I have now is great, I'll tell you all about it."

"Okay," Emily holds up her hands while Garcia watches with the biggest smile on her face. "Mother's club alert."

"Let's talk over lunch."

"You are on the right track, future mama." Penelope speaks and Emily huffs a laugh. "Come on, I know a place."

Girl's day had been their idea. After a text asking if she was busy that morning, Ryder had answered that she wasn't, the three women turned up at her door, big smiles on their faces as they declared they were taking her out. Natalie couldn't be there.

"No, no bachelorette party." Ryder shakes her head over the table at the others. "Nothing crazy anyway, I've already told Nat. Pizza and a movie sounds great, to be honest."

"Alright, you are the bride here." Garcia holds up her hands in surrender.

"Yes, yes I am." Ryder smiles before the topic diverts elsewhere.

"I almost forgot about that!" JJ gasps when Penelope brings up a name from years ago, nearly forgotten by the agents.

"Who?" Ryder and Emily ask at the same time, neither woman aware of what the others were talking about.

"Lila Archer." Garcia repeats, louder this time.

"That has to be, like five years ago now?" JJ asks while Emily and Ryder still look on confused.

"Can one of you please share with the class." Emily says, gesturing around the table.

"A stalking slash serial killer case in L.A. The girl who was being stalked was a young actress," Garcia happily explains and JJ shakes her head, expression suddenly unsure. "Her and Spencer..." She trails off, giving a so and so gesture with her hand before laughing. "They just kissed. And he made the front of a magazine, I can easily find a copy."

"Oh my goodness." Ryder laughs. "Please do."

"He never told you?" Penelope asks while Emily looks surprised and JJ chuckles, shaking her head.

"He didn't." Ryder continues to laugh. She didn't feel angered or jealous, nothing like that. It's not like she ever expected Spencer to tell her about anyone he'd ever kissed. And she knows he loves her, hasn't ever doubted it.

"How come I've never heard about this?" Emily questions.

"I forgot." JJ defends with her hands held up.

"I only just remembered."

"Any other suddenly remembered information?" Ryder asks, raising her brows and her fiancé's co-workers.

"Oh, girl, let me tell you..."

* * *

Things were calm. Ryder and Spencer had just about finished planning everything for the wedding. It wasn't going to be big, just their closest friends and family. Spencer still has to leave lots for work and Ryder hates him not being there but she gets it. Plus it gives her the opportunity to focus on her own work.

They decided not to do anything too much until they find out the gender of the baby. They had gotten the basics like a crib, but hadn't gotten to setting up the nursery. Ryder thinks they have time but still fears they'll never get around to it.

But she's not worried about that now. Instead, she's 'arguing' with Spencer while they get ready for dinner. "I don't not like the name, I'm just saying I don't want to name our child that."

"Okay, okay," Spencer relents before smiling, wrapping his arms around Ryder's waist from behind, resting his hands on her stomach. "It might not even be a boy."

"What do you think it is?"

"Impossible to tell." Spencer mumbles.

"Come on, just guess."

"Hm," Reid hums, scrunching up his face in thought. "A girl."

"Do you want a girl?"

"I'll be happy either way." Spencer kisses the side of her neck before pulling away slightly. "Although, they're going to go nameless if we can't agree."

"Yeah, yeah," Ryder chuckles, turning to him. "We're gonna be late."

"Uh-huh," Spencer nods but makes no move to leave, instead he leans forward to kiss Ryder. "Okay, fine, let's go."

"Don't be grumpy." Ryder says while grabbing her purse, grabbing Spencer's hand and walking with him to the car before driving to Rossi's house. Dinner had been planned at their girl's day out, the BAU woman brought it up the next day at work and that had been that.

"Tommy is on his way." Ryder says to Spencer after he parks the car, looking down at her phone. When leaving, Spencer had taken the keys without a word. Ryder had driven since the accident, but sometimes she wasn't comfortable with it. So when he was with her, Spencer would drive.

"And you said we were going to be late."

"Well, I just wanted to beat him. A little sibling rivalry and all that." Ryder shrugs as they exit the car, waiting until Spencer joins her side before they both make their way to the door.

"Ah, there's my favorite couple." David greets them at the door, patting Reid on the shoulder and placing a kiss to Ryder's cheek.

"Favorite?" She asks with a smile, raising a brow at the older man.

"Don't tell the others." He whispers, placing a finger over his lips for added effect.

"Never." Ryder whispers back, chuckling along with Spencer as they make their way further into the house. "I see a baby." She states when she notices Henry resting in his mother's arms. He wasn't exactly a baby anymore but he wasn't yet a toddler. He was in that area between the two.

"Here, you'll need the practice." JJ says as she passes the boy to the woman who gladly takes the little blonde boy.

"It's crazy how much he looks like you."

"That's for the best." Will mumbles, smiling as he places his arm around his wife's waist.

"You see your Uncle Spencer?" Ryder asks the boy when her fiancé joins her side, lifting his finger when Henry reaches his hand out for him. "Yeah? I think he wants you." She says before handing him over.

"Hi, Henry." Spencer smiles down at his godson and Ryder steps back to watch them. In a little less than a year, that would be their child he's holding and the thought makes her happier than she ever thought she could be.

"Uncle Spencer," Another, young voice says and Ryder turns as does Spencer to see Jack walking in front of his father. "Can you show me a magic trick?"

"Sure, buddy." Spencer nods as JJ comes forward to take her son, freeing up Reid's arms. Pulling a coin from his pocket, Spencer bends down to Jack's eye level and tells him to watch closely before flicking his hand, and making the coin disappear.

"Did you see that, dad?" Jack asks with a huge smile, turning back to his father.

"Yeah, I did, jack." Hotch smiles down at his son, placing his hand on his head.

"You look very handsome in your tie, Jack." Ryder tells them, chuckling when she sees him blush.

"Thank you." He mumbles shyly. "It's like daddy's."

"It is." Ryder nods with another small laugh.

"He was supposed to wear it for pictures today but we couldn't make it." Hotch informs them and Jack gives a nod in confirmation.

"I can take them." Ryder immediately offers with a shrug. "If you don't mind, I'd be happy too. I'll even give you a discount." She jokes. Photography is her job, her work, how she makes money, but she didn't mind session for free.

"What do you say, Jack?" Hotch looks down at his son and he nods with a smile. "I guess it's settled then."

"Perfect." Ryder says. They'd set up the details later but for now, Ryder moves past the men when she sees her brother enter the room next to Rossi. "About time."

"No patience." He shakes his head but smiles, throwing his arm around her shoulders.

"Alright, now that everyone has arrived." David says after clapping his hands together. "Dinner is served."

As everyone makes their way into the dining room, Tommy watching his sister go, deep in conversation with Emily, and grabs Spencer's arm to hold him back. "Mind if we talk, after dinner?"

Furrowing his brows at Tom's sudden change in behavior, Spencer nods. "Yeah, sure. Everything okay?"

"Uh, yeah." Thomas nods though Spencer doesn't believe him. "Everythings fine."

"All good?" Ryder asks when Spencer takes his seat next to her. With nothing to say, Reid only nods his head before they're both pulled into a conversation.

It was easy to engrossed, between listening, talking, and laughing. But Tommy's words never left Spencer's mind, only every time he looked over at the man, he seemed fine. His smile wasn't forced, he was laughing, relaxed. Spencer was stumped. Maybe he had misread the situation earlier.

It's not until He and Tommy get the chance to talk that he realizes he hadn't.

* * *

Warm light pours in through the bedroom window, highlighting the two silhouettes. Ryder stands in front of her mirror, struggling to put in an earring. Spencer stands behind her, tying his tie.

"You're not nervous, are you?" Ryder asks him after finally getting her jewelry in place, turning to help Spencer with his tie after he undoes it for the third time.

"No," Spencer shakes his head, watching her fingers working around the clothe. "Of course not."

"Mh-hmm." Ryder hums in disbelief. "It's okay if you are but there's no need to be." It was only natural, after all. "I mean, you've known me longer than Roy has anyway."

"He's still your father." Spencer mumbles. He was a little nervous, not that it mattered. Ryder had told him he would like Spencer but it wouldn't matter if he didn't. He had made the choice to give her up, Ryder says he doesn't deserve the right to have an opinion on her life. Though they had been doing good later. Their relationship was growing, Spencer was happy for her.

"I suppose." She mutters. "Lyla and Bella will be there as well."

"Not sure if that makes me feel better." Spencer says and Ryder only smiles up at him. She was actually excited about this, introducing the two of them. Her father, who she hadn't known that long, but still, hadn't met her fiancé. They'd also kept the pregnancy from them, wanting to wait like they had planned with the team.

"We'll be fine." Patting his chest, Ryder lifts herself onto her toes to place a kiss to Spencer's lips. "Shall we?" She holds out a hand to him, lifting a single brow.

"We shall." Spencer nods, placing his hand in her own and letting her pull him from their home and into the car before driving to the restaurant.

"There's my favorite little sister." Ryder greets as she and Spencer approach the table, opening her arms when the young girl stands, rushing to her.

"I'm your only sister." Bella says with a smile, pulling away just enough to look up at Ryder.

"Ah, you caught me." Ryder raises her hands in surrender as Roy and Lyla stand, staying back while the two sister's talk. "This is Spencer, my fiancé."

"Fiancé?" Bella questions, looking up to Spencer as he waves. "Like, you're getting married?"

"Exactly." Ryder nods once, leaning back to take Reid's hand in her own. "Spencer, this is my little sister."

"Hi," Spencer waves again. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too." Bella responds confidently, though she sounds a little unsure.

When Bella moves back, Lyla approaches and quickly wraps Ryder in a hug that the woman gladly returns. She hadn't been sure how their relationship was going to go, but the older woman had a kind personality and was just so motherly, Ryder couldn't help but like her.

"I can't believe you didn't tell us you were in a car accident." She says after pulling away and Ryder winces. She hadn't wanted to tell them, didn't want to fuss. And she felt it pointless for them to come down, she had been fine, after all.

"Sorry," She mumbles while accepting a hug from her father as well. "No need to worry, this is the worst of it." Ryder holds up her cast and gestures to it. The doctor hadn't been over-enthusiastic about taking it off before the wedding, but Ryder thinks she has convinced him.

"A boy in my class broke his arm once, he said it didn't hurt. Does yours hurt?" Bella asks from beside her mother and Ryder shakes her head.

"No, it doesn't hurt."

"Everyone signed his cast, can I sign yours?"

"Of course you can." Ryder nods to her sister before turning back to her father. "Uh, Roy, this Spencer." She introduces even if they know each other's name.

Stepping back, Ryder watches as Spencer and her father shake hands, releasing a breath she hadn't realized she was holding when nothing bad happened. Like, what was she thinking, that someone would explode?

"It's lovely to meet you." Lyla moves up next, placing her hand on Spencer's arm. Ryder could tell she held herself back from hugging him. Maybe she'd noticed he was uncomfortable.

"You too." Spencer nods, only a little stiff, and Ryder moves forward, taking his arm and guiding him to a seat.

"So, we've been going over the wedding plans," Ryder is saying a little ways into lunch. "And it's not going to be big. I wasn't even going to do this, but I thought if you wanted, Bella, you could be the flower girl." She suggests. She was in the right age range and Ryder thought it would be cute and Bella would like being apart of the ceremony.

"Really?" Bella perks up, obviously excited about the idea.

"Yeah, if you want."

"Yes," The girl nods, a huge smile on her face. "What will I wear?"

"Well, do you like pink?" Ryder had seen a pastel pink flower girl dress that she thought was adorable. That's what gave her the idea to have Bella be the flower girl. She hadn't even planned on having one, but now she couldn't shake the idea.

"I love pink." Bella gives a toothy smile and Lyla chuckles.

"If you had asked her that question last year, you would've gotten a completely different answer." The girl's mother tells Ryder, leaning towards her as if it was a secret.

"I get that, I was always changing my mind about things when I was a kid." Ryder says back before a little more wedding talk arrises before they move onto other things.

"Uh, another thing," Ryder is once again the one to speak up as they all finished eating. "That we didn't tell you because we wanted to wait." Taking Spencer's hand, Ryder looks over at him with a smile and he nods. "We're pregnant."

Lyla is the first to react, a huge smile overtaking her face as she moves to hug Ryder much like before, congratulating her. "You're going to have a baby?" Bella asks as her mother retakes her seat.

"Yup," Ryder nods. "That means you're going to be an Aunt."

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Well, we don't know yet." Ryder tells her sister before turning to her father who'd been quiet for a while now. "Roy, you okay?"

"Yes. I'm happy for you guys." He shakes his head, snapping himself from his thoughts while sending his daughter a smile. "It's just, it hits me sometimes how much I missed, how grown you are."

"Yeah," Ryder mutters to herself, looking down at her lap. She was happy she had tried to build some kind of relationship with her father. There was no longer that underlying anger, not really. But they hadn't yet found that father-daughter bond. Ryder wasn't sure they ever would. She was still glad he was in her life.

"Well," Lyla breaks the silence, her eyes on the young couple across from her. "Are you guys working on a nursery or anything?"

"Uh, yeah, we're turning the guest room into the nursery." Ryder nods, resting her hands over Spencer's from where it rests on her thigh. "Haven't done much yet."

"Oh, that's fine." Lyla waves them off. "You'll get it done in time. Have you discussed names?"

"A few." Spencer nods with a small smile. They had yet to agree on anything, boy or girl. "Haven't found one yet, though."

"It's a hard desision." Lyla tells them, reaching over to take her husband's hand.

"You just couldn't make your mind up." Roy says but sends her a smile while squeezing her hand.

"The perfect name will come to you, don't worry."

"I'm not worried." Ryder shakes her head, looking up at Spencer while wrapping her fingers around his hand. "Not worried at all."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! This chapter wasn't much but I like the little interactions with everyone. Like showing how they're a family.**

 **I really want to know what you guys think the baby is going to be! I'm excited for the reveal and am happy with my choice. I also need name ideas, Spencer and Ryder aren't the only ones who can't decide.**

 **I need to take better notes. Cause sometimes I'll forget things and later be like, well crap, forgot all about that. Oops. I try, sorry.**

 **Lots of love! Until next time, friends! Stay safe!**

* * *

'-'


	25. Not an Accident

**No excuses for the wait. Just been focused on my other stories. I'm really sorry and I don't know when the next update will be. I just had this written and thought I'd give you guys something because it had been so long and you're all so great.  
**

 **Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Enjoy even though it's short.**

 **Words: 2,152**

* * *

The wedding is getting so close. That's what Ryder thinks with a deep breath, the nerves running all through her body calming on slightly as her brown eyes roam the dress in front of her. Her wedding dress. It felt surreal. She's getting married. Ryder honestly never thought this day would come. Well, not until she met Spencer.

"Breath, okay," The woman whispers to herself before zipping up the dresses cover, turning it back on the rack in her closet. Bella's dress and the bridesmaid dresses were in, so were the tuxes. Hers was the last clothing item needed. Emily, JJ, Penelope, and Natalie were given their respective dresses to keep. And the tuxes were given to the groomsmen. And Steve who would be on the brides side, walking and standing with Natalie.

The guest list wasn't huge. It was the perfect size, Ryder thinks. She didn't want a big wedding but she did want people there. She was marrying the love of her life, she wanted to celebrate that with people.

Spencer agreed with her for the most part. He tried to hide it from her, but Ryder knows every time it comes up, he thinks of Gideon, who had yet to let them know if he'd be there. Then there was William, Spencer's father. After much debate, and many emotions, Spencer decided to let the man come. It wasn't necessarily a happy invite, more of just letting him know when and where.

Roy, Lyla, and Bella would be there. Bella was the flower girl, Roy and Lyla have a place in the front on the bride's side. Ryder wants her father there, but she still hadn't known him long, they weren't close, like a father and daughter should be. Tommy would be the one walking her down the aisle.

Her brother's slightly off behavior hadn't escaped Ryder's attention. When asked, he said everything was fine. He almost looked tired when the subject was brought up. Ryder decided to drop it, he'd tell her when he could.

But Ryder couldn't think of that right now, she was late for a doctor's appointment. It was still too early to tell the baby's gender, for which she was sad and relieved. She wanted Spencer to be there for that and he was away right now. Natalie was going with her though, so she wouldn't have to be alone. Ryder would forever be grateful for her friends.

"What's the hold-up?" Nat questions jokingly when Ryder slides into the passenger seat of her car.

"Lost track of time." Ryder sighs, resting her bag on the floor by her feet.

"Were you looking at your dress again?"

"It's just so pretty." Ryder doesn't bother denying it, her friend would know she was lying away. "I'm excited."

"Me too." Nat chuckles, checking both ways before making her turn. "Your dress is the most beautiful, but I love mine too. I look great in red."

"Ha, Steve said the same thing." Ryder laughs with a shake of her head. "That he looks great in red. Though, I'm sure he'd agree that you do too."

"Oh, I know he thinks I look good in red."

"Okay, okay," Ryder waves her hands around with a grimace. "I do not need to hear more of that."

"I barely said anything." Nat mumbles with a smile. "I changed my mind, by the way, I'm back to boy. Steve still thinks girl."

"I can't keep up with who thinks what anymore." Emily was the only one stuck with her decision of a girl. Everyone else keeps changing their minds. Especially Garcia. Not that Ryder minds, she loves watching them guess and is even more excited to tell them when they know.

"You won't have too much longer." Natalie says as she parks the car. "Just a few short weeks and I'll know if I'm getting a niece or a nephew."

"You mean a godson or goddaughter?" Ryder asks slyly, smirking when Nat turns her wide eyes to her. "Did you really think it would be someone else?"

"Ah!" Nat squeals, leaning across the middle console to hug her friend. "Yes, yes, yes." The woman chants over and over, literally bouncing in her seat. "I'm gonna be the best godmother any child has ever known."

"I have no doubt." Ryder snorts as she opens her car door, stepping out into the sunny day. "Means you gotta help set up the nursery."

"Like I wasn't going to do that anyway." Nat says, opening the door for her friend, allowing her to walk in first before they sign in and wait until her name is called.

Spencer hated that he couldn't be there. He already missed the first time but Ryder assured him it was fine. She hadn't even known for sure she was pregnant then and now, it was just one appointment and Nat was with her.

When the two friends finally make their way outside, Ryder has a new picture of their unborn child to show him later.

"Food." Ryder drawls out over the roof of the car to her friend, waiting very impatiently for her friend to unlock it.

"Yes, ma'am," Nat chuckles, grumbling at the endless pit that is her purse. "Food for the soon to be mother."

"Mazel tov." The new voice makes Ryder jump and spin around. Natalie looks up from her bag to see who had spoken, furrowing her brows in confusion at the unfamiliar man.

"Mark-" Ryder cuts herself off, restraining herself from flat out asking "what the hell?" She hates to admit, but the last few days, with last-minute wedding planning and baby stuff, she had nearly forgotten about him. Before she'd told herself it wasn't a big deal, maybe he was a little hung up on the past, he definitely acts weird, but now she knows it's something. Why else would he be here? She couldn't come up with a good reason, and the exact moment she's here as well? Coincidence that big just didn't happen.

"Do you know what it is yet?" He asks, moving closer to her. The question was so casual, but Ryder moves her back to the car, her eyes never straying from him.

"No," She answers, her voice coming out harsher than she'd meant. Couldn't this dude take a hint and back the hell off?

"Ry?" Nat questions from the other side of her vehicle.

"We have to go." Ryder ignores her friend's question, her hand gripping the door handle behind her. "Nat, unlock the car."

"Why the rush?" Mark questions, still slowly coming closer with his arms spread beside him as Nat hurries to find her keys.

"Honestly?" Ryder doesn't move her feet, but leans forward towards him, leveling him with her hardest look. "I don't want to be around you. You make me uncomfortable." Maybe if she tells him straight up, he'll get it and finally leave her alone.

Just then, as Ryder notes the clench in Mark's jaw, the twitch in his eye, the car unlocks loudly, and Ryder wastes no time opening the door and jumping in with her friend. "Drive, please."

Natalie listens to her friend's order and moves the car a little faster than normal out of the parking lot. "I see what you mean," The model says while releasing a breath. "Dudes a creep."

"Yeah," Ryder nods, biting her lip as she wrings her hands together. "I mean, that was a little more than just running into someone on the street."

"Yeah, no," Nat scoffs, keeping her attention on the road. "That was definitely on purpose. I'd bet the other times were too." She didn't want to freak her friend out, but if it was true, something had to be done.

"I'm starting to think the same thing." Ryder agrees with her friend, looking at the parking lot that is slowly disappearing behind them. "But what am I supposed to do about it?"

"Um, get a restraining order." Nat looks over at her friend like she's gone crazy when they stop at a light.

"How? He hasn't actually done anything illegal."

"I'm pretty sure the point of a restraining order is to prevent that from happening in the first place." Natalie says with furrowed brows, her eyes back on the road.

"Yeah, but I don't think I can just take one out against someone when the only things that's happened is we've run into each other a few times." Ryder would love to get a restraining order against Mark. The guy gave her a bad feeling, but really, what has he done other than speaking to her in a not very nice manner? Last time she checked, freedom of speech was still a thing.

"You and me both know he sent those flowers." The blonde continues to argue. Maybe she was a little biased. Stalkers weren't an unknown subject for her. "That means he knows where you live."

"We have no proof it was him."

"Please, we've asked everyone you know and it wasn't any of them. You're in denial."

Sighing, Ryder looks down at her lap before back to the scenery passing outside her window. "I'll talk to Spencer when he gets back, okay?"

"That's as good as I'm going to get, isn't it?" Nat questions, glancing over just long enough to see her friend nod. "Okay, I'll take it. But you're staying with me tonight."

* * *

Ryder didn't argue with her friend. Not that it would've helped. When Natalie wants something, she usually gets it. The night ended up being exactly what Ryder needed though. Spending quality time with her best girl friend, it was very relaxing.

She shared her nightly phone call with Spencer but left out the whole Mark thing, much to Natalie's displeasure. She'll tell him when he gets back, Ryder doesn't want him to worry. And besides, she's staying with people until he gets back, what could happen?

Natalie smacked her arm when she asked that question out loud.

It's only a couple of days later that Spencer arrives back home. Ryder had known he was on his way but was still surprised when he walks through the door, literally dropping his things before sweeping her into a tight hug.

He breathes deeply, closing his eyes, feeling his fiancée wrapped securely in his arms.

"Is everything okay?" Ryder asks after a moment but neither pull away.

"Yes," Spencer shakes his head, burying his nose in the crook of her neck. "Just missed you."

"Well, I miss you too." Ryder chuckles before the light, fuzzy feeling settling into her stomach is replaced with something else. "Spence, I need to tell you something."

Fast forward ten minutes later shows Ryder sitting on the couch with her feet folded under her, watching Spencer pace in front of her. His phone is pressed to his ear, his gaze shooting over to Ryder occasionally, as if to make sure she was still there.

"And?" Ryder almost hesitantly questions when Spencer hands up with whoever he was speaking with.

"Restraining order successfully filed." He responds while sitting down next to her. "It'll be served to him later on today, hopefully."

"I'm sorry," Ryder sighs, dropping her hands into her lap.

"No," Spencer shakes his head and grabs her wrists. "Don't be, this isn't on you. But, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because..." Ryder trails off with another heavy sigh and shakes her head. "I don't know. You were working, I didn't want to bother you. I can't just put all my problems on you and expect you to drop everything to help me." Ryder's voice rises in volume and Spencer squeezes her hands to calm her.

"Okay, okay," He says gently, pulling her closer to him. "It's okay. Just...I need you to tell me these things. You're my fiancée. You'll be my wife soon. I will always drop everything to help you." Closing his eyes, Spener shakes his head. "I can't- if something were to happen to you-"

"Nothing's going to happen to me." Ryder cuts him off, cupping his cheeks in her hands. "Nothing, okay? I'm fine, we're fine. I'll...work on my communication skills." Spencer huffs a laugh at that, nodding his head but stops when Ryder leans forward to connect their lips.

"Nothing will happen to either of you if I have anything to do about it."

* * *

 **That Mark is a real creep, huh?**

 **I'm pretty sure you gotta go to court and all this stuff to get a restraining order but...Spencer got connections man. He gone protect what's his.**

 **Thanks for reading! I'm trying to get this going again but with other stuff I got going on right now it's difficult. Thanks for sticking with me!**

* * *

'-'


	26. Envelope

**So sorry for this wait!**

 **I wasn't going to post because I was afraid I'd change something in this chapter but it's been so long and I'll just have to find a way around anything problems I find.**

 **I love this story, I see where I want it to go but at the same time I can't. Anyone got any insparational words? Please send them my way if you want, I'd apretiate it. What do you guys want to see? Tell me and I'll do it.**

 **Thanks for reading, enjoy and let me know what you think!**

 **Words: 3,309**

 **Also, I haven't read this since I wrote it a while back, so I apologize for any mistakes.**

* * *

Ryder hadn't known there was a weight on her shoulders. She hadn't even been thinking about Mark, after all. But just knowing she has a restraining order on him, she sleeps better, her posture us more relaxed during the day. Stress isn't good for the baby, after all.

But despite this, Spencer seems more tense. He tries to hide it from her, she knows, but the way he checks on her often, through text, phone calls, or just looking at her from across the room. He asks if she has her gun almost every time before he leaves the house. She tries to reassure him, but with the things he's seen through his job, it isn't easy.

Mark hasn't made an appearance. Nothing has happened. Though it's only been a couple of days. Ryder tries to put the whole thing out of her mind. She has her job and a wedding to focus on.

Speaking of work, Ryder smiles down at the three german shepherd dogs sitting patiently in front of her. Family portraits always include the family's pets. It was one of her favorite things. Ryder's always loved animals. Her mother had a Doberman when she came to live with her. He was a very well behaved dog from all his training. It hurt when he passed away.

"I don't want to take a picture," Ryder looks up at the young voice to see Mallory, her client's youngest daughter storming away. Mrs. Foley sighs and puts her forehead into her hand while her husband tries to go after their pouting child.

"Uh, Mr. Foley," Ryder calls out, holding up a hand to stop him. "If you don't mind, maybe I could try?"

"Of course, Ryder," The older man nods with a small smile. "And I think we've known each other long enough for you to call me Robert."

"Right," Ryder chuckles with one of her oldest clients before heading over to the girl in her blue dress. Crouching down beside her, Ryder sighs and sets her camera in her lap. "What's up, Mal?"

"I don't want a picture." She mumbles, kicking her feet back and forth from where they hang over the cobblestone ledge.

"Oh, yeah, why's that?" Ryder asks patiently, keeping her eyes locked at the view in front of them. The Foley's did have a beautiful home.

"I hate my dress." The girl says quickly, picking at the hem of her sleeve.

"Really?" Ryder over exaggerates her shocked reaction, finally turning to look down at the girl. "And here I was all jealous over it. Blue is my favorite color, after all." Mallory puffs her cheeks out but can't quite stop her lips from twitching up. "It makes your eyes look so much brighter."

"Really?" Mallory squints up at her and Ryder nods sternly.

"Yeah, they look like the sky," She points up at the clear sky and the girl follows her motion. "And," She lowers her voice, whispering like it's a secret. "You know how to make bunny ears?" Mallory nods with a growing smile. "I think maybe your older brother will make the perfect victim of bunny ears in a photo or two."

Chuckling, Mallory nods, excited at the idea. "He'll get mad."

"Not if we don't get caught." Ryder shrugs, offering her hand to pull the girl to her feet.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Mallory shouts as she rushes back to her parents and brother. Her mother shoots Ryder a grateful look before she turns to situate her children in the way they'd discussed.

Ryder snaps many pictures of the small family, half with Mallory gives both her father and brother bunny ears before they catch on and, instead of stopping the girl, they join in on the fun.

"Well, I thank you once again for putting up with us." Mrs. Foley, Selena, tells Ryder as the woman packs up her things.

"You know I love you guys," She waves off the thanks, turning to smile at the couple. "And I always love seeing the dogs." The Foley's were well-known dog trainers, they have their personal dogs but others they keep for clients or the service dogs they raise.

"They like seeing you too." Robert says with an arm around his wife's waist.

"You know, I actually thought about getting one." She's mentioned it to Spencer and she was serious. "Got any advice?"

"A boxer," He says immediately, sharing a look with Selena.

"Actually, if you have the time," She starts slowly. "Mind taking a little walk?"

"Uh, sure," Ryder nods, setting the last of her things into her car before following them to one of the fenced yards.

Robert lets out a loud whistle when they reach the gate, gaining the attention of most of the dogs, but only one comes when he calls her name. "Willow!" The big brown dog seems to smile as it bounds over to her owner, tail wagging behind her. "Hey, girl," Robert greets with a matching grin and opens the gate.

"This is Willow." Selena introduces Ryder to the dog, watching the younger woman crouch down to her level.

"Hello, girl," Ryder pets the dog with an impossibly wide smile. "Aren't you beautiful."

"One of our best students," Robert says after closing the gates. "Well behaved though she definitely has a personality. But uh, she's ready to go to a home." Ryder's head whips up to look at them, her hands still petting the dog in front of her. "Though we've fallen in love with her, so it has to be someone we know and trust."

"I can't- are- are you being serious?" Ryder stutters with an incredulous laugh.

"A hundred percent," Selena nods. "We know you'd make her a great home. And she's great with kids." She smiles a knowing smile. "Of all ages."

Laughing again, Ryder turns to look into Willow's big brown, literal puppy eyes. "I have to talk to Spencer." She decides on. She knew if she took the dog today, he would accept her, fall in love as quickly as Ryder has, but this is something you talk about when you're in a relationship.

"Of course," Robert nods in understanding. "I remember the days Selena actually asked me before just bringing an animal home." Huffing, the man's wife hits him on the chest fondly.

"Take your time, talk it out and let us know," Selena offers Ryder a hand to pull the woman to her feet. "She'll be here."

"Thank you," Ryder smiles and opens her arms to hug the woman while Robert motions for Willow to return to her pen, the dog going willingly.  
"Consider it a wedding gift," He tells her. "If you choose to accept, that is."

"Well, I'm sold, if Spencer agrees."

"He will," Selena winks before the trio walk back up to Ryder's car. "Thank you again, for today."

"No problem, it is my job, after all." Saying their goodbyes, the adults part ways. That was her last appointment of the day so Ryder heads home. She has to pick out the best pictures, edit them, get the family's opinions before sending them off to get printed. But luckily she could do that in the comfort of pajamas inside her home.

Climbing from her car, Ryder lifts her purse onto one shoulder and her camera bag onto her other. She can get her tripods later. Or ask Spencer too. Shaking her head to herself, Ryder slides her key into her mailbox and gathers the many papers into her hands. She nearly drops some but manages to balance them all and heads inside.

With no one in the lobby to help, Ryder uses her elbow to push the elevator button. It comes quickly, the ding echoing into the silence of the building and Ryder does the same as before, almost hitting the wrong floor number. But she manages just as the thought hits her. How is she supposed to unlock her apartment door?

Groaning, Ryder struggles the mail under her arm and grabs her keys before forcing them into the lock and opening her door. She sets everything onto the table with a loud sigh.

Rolling her shoulders, Ryder rubs her neck and grabs the stack of mail and transfers it to the kitchen and places it on the counter. She's about to grab the letter opener - she'll never tire of how easily the sharp blade slices the paper open - when a small, manila envelope catches her attention.

"It could be anything," Ryder shrugs before rolling her eyes. There she goes, talking to herself again. Shaking her head, Ryder grabs the envelope, eyeing the writing before opening it, sans letter opener. Not that a manila envelope really needs one. They usually open smoothly without one. Okay, off track.

Perching herself on a barstool, Ryder reaches her hand into the envelope and pulls out a very familiar feeling paper. The pictures are turned backward but as soon as the young woman flips them over, she's on her feet, heart falling into her stomach.

Gaze sweeping over her supposedly empty apartment, Ada stuffs the pictures back into their envelope and grabs her bag from the table and exits her home. The door across from her's groans when she bangs her fist on it. She glances over her shoulder while she waits for it to open.

"Hey, Philip," Ryder tries to smile at the older man. He was good at picking up on emotions.

"Ms. Mathews," He nods to her with a smile. Philip has been here since she started living here. They converse when they saw each other but were peaceful neighbors otherwise. And Ryder always brings him a cupcake on his birthday.

"I hate to ask, but do you mind walking me to my car, please?" He was to nice to say no and she knows it. It makes her feel a little bad but it's just a walk to the ground floor. And for good reason.

"Of course, dear," He smiles a grabs his keys before joining her in the hall and walking side by side with her to the elevator and into the darkening night. "Is everything okay, Ryder?"

"Yes, of course," She says but has trouble believing even her own words. "I should be back later. I'll check-in, okay?"

"Alright," Philip nods, not look entirely convinced but doesn't stop Ryder as she closes her car door and starts it before pulling out onto the road.

Ryder chews her lip and drums her thumbs on the steering wheel the entire drive. When she parks the car and grabs her purse, she takes her gun out before slipping it into the glove box.

Pausing, eyes glued to the envelope, Ryder swallows before grabbing it and exiting the car.

"Ms. Mathews, to what do we owe this pleasure?" Micheal smiles in greeting, immediately helping the woman get through security.

"Uh, just...picking up Spencer." She's not sure why she lies. It just came out.

"Alright, good to see you," He tells her while handing her a guest badge. "Head on up."

"Thank you." Ryder gives a weak smile in return and heads into the elevator. She feels better now, being in this building, but her hands still shake.

The ride is quick and thankfully uninterrupted. It's getting late, everyone's probably finishing up for the day. The BUA team included. Ryder wonders why she didn't text Spencer that she was coming when he spots her entering the room. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and he leaves whatever conversation he's having with Morgan to approach her.

"Ryder?" He questions when he gets closer to her. "Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you but...why are you here?"

"Um," Ryder hesitates, glancing behind her fiancé to see they'd drawn the other's attention. "These were in the mail." She finally forces out before handing him the envelope.

Taking the offered object, brows more furrowed in worry than before, Spencer pulls out the same photo's Ryder had earlier. Photos of Ryder. Taken from afar as she goes about her day. Getting lunch, working a photoshoot, walking down the street. Other than that, the thing that catches his attention most is whoever else is in the photos have their faces scratched out.

A hand, Morgan's hand, comes into his sightline to take the photos from him, finally snapping his out of his frozen state. Ryder still stands in front of him, her hands wringing together nervously. "Hey," Spencer whispers to her as calmly as he can, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Are you okay?" It's a stupid question but he has to ask and Ryder nods, offering him a shaky smile.

"Yeah, as soon as I saw them I came here." She tells him with a glance at the others who are looking the photos over, giving the couple a minute before the questions start. "Had Philip walk me to the car."

"Good," Spencer nods. "You did the right thing."

"I don't..." Ryder takes a deep breath, eyebrows furrowing. "It has to be him. But this-this is crazy."

"Has to be who?" Emily asks, stepping up with the others, two photos held in her hands.

Sighing, Ryder closes her eyes for a moment. Spencer takes her hand and stands by her side. "Mark," She tells them and everyone stays silent, allowing her the chance to speak. "My ex from college. I ran into him a little while ago then again and again. I got flowers from an unknown person sent to the apartment. Last time I saw him, I knew the encounters hadn't been coincidental." She glances up at Spencer and he squeezes her hand. "He never actually did anything but he made me uncomfortable and when I told Spencer, he helped me get a restraining order against him."

"Last name?" JJ asks, phone already pressed against her ear.

"Weston," Ryder says clearly, and the blonde nods, turning away to relay the information to whomever she was speaking to. "I knew he was creepy, I never thought he'd do...this." She gestures to the photos currently spread between the team.

"How long did you date?" Derek asks her, keeping on a professional facade when really he wants to find this guy and do some not very legal things. No one even thinks about hurting his family without consequences.

"A few weeks until I broke up with him."

"Why did you break it off?" Emily questions as everyone walks further into the room and Spencer pulls out his desk chair for his fiancée.

"Short answer? He was an ass." Derek smirks at her answer but it falls quickly. "He wasn't so bad at first," Ryder starts again with a sigh. She figures it was important to use more detail. Maybe. Spencer always tells her the smallest thing can be really important in a case. "But after we started going out, he became possessive and controlling. I still stayed for a little while, thinking he'd get over it but when he didn't, I broke it off right before we graduated. Never saw him again until recently."

"How did he react when you broke up?" David asks, leaning against the desk across from her.

"He tried to talk me out of it," Ryder shrugs. It hadn't seemed like a big deal. "I don't remember a lot but he kept trying to talk to me for a while after. I think two, three months before I finally blocked his number."

"He sent you flowers and mailed these, it means he knows where you live." Hotch holds up the pictures he'd gathered, already running everything they knew through his head. The team has handled stalkers before but it's not their typical case. But this is different, this is one of their own. He knows without even asking the others that they're willing to work on this.

"You don't think he'll actually...do anything?" Ryder questions with furrowed brows. Yes, the pictures scared her and they were very concerning, but they were pictures. Mark hasn't actually done anything to physically harm her or those around her. Yet, her brain can't help but think. He hasn't done anything yet.

"The scratches in those photos, the way he eliminates any other person's presence besides yours, it shows aggression," Emily explains. "And it sounds like it's escalated quickly. I'm guessing the restraining order made him mad."

Ryder nods and worries her bottom lip between her teeth. "And I might not have been...over kind, the last time I saw him." She states hesitantly. Maybe saying those things had been a mistake.

"How do you mean?" Morgan inquires.

"Uh, well, I told him I didn't want to be around him and that he makes me uncomfortable." She tells them all. "I left before I could really see his reaction."

"The rejection probably made him mad," Emily says to her team more than to Ryder. "Then the restraining order on top of that. No telling what he'll do."

"He scratched out everyone else's faces," Morgan says while taking the pictures from Hotch to look through them again. "But not Ryder's. If he really wants to hurt her, wouldn't he have done the same to her face?"

"Excuse me," Ryder stands from her seat and Spencer lets his hand fall from her shoulder. It isn't their fault but she doesn't want to hear what they were talking about right now. She's tired from working all day, stressing over the wedding and the human growing inside of her. Said tiny human was making her feet swell at they're uncomfortable in her shoes. And shoes hungry but feels sick at the same time. From the situation or the pregnancy, she isn't sure. Probably both.

The bathroom light is on but no one else is in there. Ryder is grateful as she braces her hands on the edge of the sink. She takes a deep breath and runs her hands under the cold water before drying them. She throws the wet paper away and leans her back against the wall, closing her eyes.

The door makes a nearly inaudible squeak when it's pushed open. Ryder doesn't open her eyes when she feels someone settling next to her. "Sorry about that," Emily tells her softly and Ryder offers her a small smile to let the woman know she wasn't upset by her. "Just, work mode. Can be hard to break out of."

"No, I get it," Ryder sighs. "Sometimes Spence comes home and profiles the apartment or what I'm doing without even realizing it." She chuckles weakly. "I'm honestly surprised he didn't notice I was pregnant before I did."

"That sounds like something he'd do." Emily laughs but quickly sombers. "It'll be okay. We'll figure this out."

"Thank you," Ryder offers her friend a smile. Taking a deep breath, the young woman pushes off the wall and rubs her hands on her pants. "Best get back. Only a matter of time before Spence comes looking."

Snorting, Emily nods and follows. "I don't doubt it. He nearly followed you in here."

When reaching the group, Ryder smiles at her fiancé to let him know she was okay and wraps her arms around him. "Come on," He places a kiss to the top of her head. "Let's go."

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 **That jerk. His photography skills aren't even that good. Yeaaaah...I wish I could promise a quick update but I can't. I should probably wait until I have lots of chapters before posting.**

 **You guys tell me anything you want to see happen in this story.**

 **I don't condone puppy mills and the such. But professional breeders who treat their animals well and with respect are okay. This coming from someone who's seen animals in horrible conditions and rescued over two-three hundred dogs and cats (not an exaggeration, I'm being serious) in her life, so I'm biased.  
**

 **Thanks for reading!**

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 **'-'**


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